When you start to hate something you actually enjoyed because of the disgusting manner people behave about it.

And this is what I wanted, mom.

I wanted you to come and talk to me.

I wanted you to tell me to stop running from myself, from my feelings.

I wanted you to pronounce the words I still can't say aloud: "you love her - more than you can bear".

I wanted you to offer me advice and tell me everything will be okay.

I wanted you to tell me you can't stand seeing the loneliness inside me and that you only wanted me to find happiness, even with my own choices.

I wanted you to fight for me. To convince me I'm the most beautiful daughter in the world. Even when I'm a failure. Even when I couldn't afford giving you a Mother's Day gift or write you a long text on Facebook. Even when I do not wish to find a husband and have children.

I'm sorry I have to keep running. It'll kill me. Eventually.

Rant: I can't accept Tumblr isn't showing my fic on BB tag, but it's showing all those disgusting crap, fetishizing MC with her own killer.

I deleted my post regarding my fears for a possible Book 4. Because of people like that, I'm surely quitting this fandom after BB ends. You have honestly lost your shit, shipping MC with the man that murdered her. Yes, this is nearly as bad as shipping ROD MC with Shaw. Or even Max from Life is Strange with Mr. Jefferson.

Is it fiction? Yes. But it's still disgusting as fuck. 

If PB thinks I'll feel sorry for Gaius they'll need to try harder

Rheya's manipulation is NOT an excuse for his acts. He has killed thousands of humans and vampires. He kept an abusive relationship with Kamilah for centuries (where he was probably responsible for her lovers' deaths) and he fucking KILLED MC mercilessly.

There's NO WAY I'll feel sorry for him because "he was just a poor lonely boy who wanted to be loved". He is fucking NOT. He's a MONSTER.

Again, @playchoices has decided to spit on Kamilah's stans. You don't show flashbacks of Adrian with his dead wives or flashbacks of Lily with Melanie, so why do you assume we want to see such a gross scene?

In Book 1, Kamilah's body language clearly implied she lived an abusive relationship with Gaius, why the sudden need of romanticize it? Unless you're planning to put them back together in the end. It wouldn't be the first time a female LI has a terrible ending (Mona *cough* *cough*).

There was THOUSANDS of ways to show Gaius love for Rheya and you decided for the road you disrespect part of your players. In case you haven't noticed, Kamilah is so popular as Adrian, so a great part of your weekly income from Bloodbound comes from US too.

Also, in case anyone is wondering. Lily and Jax will kiss the MC, while Kamilah only hold hands.

@playchoices writers need to act more professional and unbiased, since whoever wrote this chapter clearly doesn't support a Kamilah xMC relationship.

@playchoices so that's it, we won't be seeing Kamilah and Lily again until the end of the book, since you previously hinted most of the plot will be in Europe?

How come this is "worthy the wait", "epic" and "mind-blowing"? Have you ever considered NOT all your players are romancing males?

Today I’m feeling worse than I’ve ever felt in ages.

As the anniversary is approaching, the nightmares and flashbacks have returned. 

I’ve started taking pills so I can sleep all day, but it’s useless because I always wake up with my heart racing inside my chest and I quickly run to check the security cameras to make sure I’m safe.

I have absolutely no one to talk to. My family thinks depression and PTSD are bullshit. That if I was actually doing something useful in my life and/or if I had gotten married, all of this would have disappeared.

This is my fucking blog and I can’t even vent about things that make me frustrated without being insulted. 

I don’t see any hopes for a better future. I’m tired of waiting for things that will never happen. I’m tired of myself. I’m tired of everything.

Why do I feel my birthday is going to suck?

Right, because there’s no Kamilah, I can’t play LIS 2 and I have a fucking meeting to attend at 8 AM on Saturday, after spending the entire night awake.

Bonus: October only reminds me November, the doomed month, is around the corner

You know when you’re playing Left 4 Dead and the Boomer vomits on you, attracting lots of zombies? So, that’s me. But instead of zombies, I attract bullies. All the time. Everywhere.

Another week without that long-awaited Dom/Sei scene -_-

Really, can you imagine these two fire beasts making love? There would be no enough fire effects for the hotness of this scene. Just do it now @playchoices! I can’t wait any longer.

I wish @playchoices would stop forcing KennaXDom. I liked them in the beginning but after everything I kinda feel they’ve grown apart so I’d like to see Dom in a romance with Sei and Kenna with somebody else (Diavolos maybe?).

They could at least give us the option of choosing which room we wanted to visit after the battle against Hex, Kenna’s or Sei’s.

I wish that at least restarting chapters was free. I wanna shoot myself everytime I screw up and pick the wrong option in The Crown and The Flame.

If you want to be friends with me there’s one and only rule you must follow:

You can contact me via:

The violation of the rule will make you an enemy, not a friend. Thank you.