Ruy

I've been looking at some posts from people who claim that asexuality is not a spectrum, or that there is a spectrum and asexuality is the "absolute zero" right at the far end of it, and I'd like to propose a phrase to counter that argument:

There are infinitely more ways to fall outside of the norm than inside it.

Have some random midam textposts

the locked tomb series is really like. maybe love doesn't conquer all. maybe love is not pure and good and holy. maybe love is not a white dove come to save you from yourself. maybe it won't fix you. maybe it'll make everything worse. maybe love is dirty and ugly and terrifying and awful. maybe it'll kill you. maybe it'll warp you into something unrecognizable. maybe love is a parasite and by the time you realize it's there, it's too late to tear it out of you, no matter how badly you might want to. maybe it's a cordiceps fungus, tangled up in your nerves, making you do things you'd never ordinarily do. maybe love is a dog with its jaw locked on your arm. maybe love is an angry ghost. maybe love is a brain hemorrhage, a seizure, two weeks of sleeplessness and cracking open your own tibia unanesthetized in a bathroom. maybe it's the ocean you'll drown in. maybe it's poison. maybe it's scary and filthy and difficult and bad for you.

so what now? are you going to stop? are you even going to try?

no. of course you aren't.

I am forever grateful for the balanced way Harrow’s psychosis is displayed. She is a rational person. She is able to evaluate data as sharply as anyone else. Maybe even more sharply than anyone else. She just isn’t sure if the data she is evaluating is all accurate. She reads as someone who has long since adjusted to this self-doubt about reality, and possibly as someone who’s intelligence was honed specifically by the process of needing to run every observation through rationality checks. It makes her weird, socially, but it also makes her very good at processing and deduction.

Fun fact: this is called "double bookkeeping," and is a common experience of schizophrenics (which both Muir and Harrow are! and also me!). Basically, people with schizophrenia spectrum disorders experience a unique type of psychosis in which we are aware that we are hallucinating. However, this awareness also extends to times when we're not hallucinating--thinking we could be hallucinating at any time, or being hyperaware of sensory abnormalities that could indicate hallucinating. This means that we're able to be in the middle of a vivid hallucination, and say "Wow that's scary! I'm hallucinating." It doesn't change the fact that we're hallucinating, or the emotions it's giving us. We could also see a shadow at night and worry that we're beginning to hallucinate, and then laugh it off when we realize that's not what's happened. Essentially, we're aware that we're insane and that anything could be wrong at any given time. That said, we grow to question everything in our reality. Harrow's approach to this actually helped me a lot, removing a lot of my shame around doubting my sanity. Harrow is very blunt about being insane, and only expects insane things from herself and her reality, and I have to thank Muir so much for that.

in light of recent events, fuck

i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.

start seeing everything as God, but keep it a secret

the vampires got it right. life is about being bisexual and a little bit pathetic. and going through different levels of depressive episodes

i wish camilla and palamedes were a garnet situation in the sense that they could unfuse and both have their own bodies simply because i miss palamedes and yes he was in nona the ninth but it’s not the same because he was in cam’s body. the scene where cam goes and sits in the empty bathtub because nona kisses her hand in the same way that palamedes did is so gut wrenching to me. life truly is too short and love truly is too long

"would you lie to someone if it'd help/protect them?" is such a funny question. buddy I'd lie to someone if it means i get five minutes of peace. I'd lie for a pepsi can. I'd lie for literally no fucking reason. i don't have any psychological issues btw

so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and

a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this

in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk

i scrolled over to check to see what this could possibly be and

places a hand on me cheek

happy halloween month time for my favourite post of all time

Doctor vs Master in terms of who I'd rather have as an enemy is Master all the fucking way. The thing about The Master is their number one priority is not their moral code or revenge or domination or being a villain no their number 1 priority no matter what is being high camp. If the master was after me I would just clap to lower the lights and make "masochism tango" start playing and then during the dance I'd cuff and collar them with some ridiculously strong stuff and at the end they'd be like "mon chéri...it seems you have foiled me for now, but we shall meet again" and then they'd kiss me hand and I probably would have at least a few years before they show up again. Whereas if you're not already in a deeply codependent situation ship and you piss off The Doctor their number one priority is Fucking Getting You. You can fuck off to the year 6 billion in the 13th dimension and they'll still find your ass and be like "I tripled your lifespan and also gave you anterograde amnesia so everyday you will wake up with fewer and fewer loved ones but the grief will be brand new" like jesus christ man i don't wanna deal with that

Power couple

My favorite thing about this scene personally is that the Doctor was fully able to speak, but instead of directly telling Donna what he needs, he decides to make fun of her answers and I think that is peak sibling dynamic