okay, handsdown, if you want to wish someone a happy birthday in a super funny, unique, and memorable way go to Fiverr and search ‘birthday’. 

I had this guy from Jaimaca wish my mom a happy birthday and she absolutely loved it when this random guy said her name 

Check him out here

This one is also funny! (x)

If you want to see all of them, click here

the best ones are:

OMG I’M SCREAMING. I’m totally gonna have Putin and the gay policeman make a birthday video for my friends

Not gonna lie, if a friend did this for me I’d probably lose my shit too (in a good way)

100% doing this for my friend

Absolutely happening to my mother

Seriously sign up for Fiverr. You can find all sorts of gigs! It’s amazing. Make sure to place your order two weeks in advance so you get it in time for someone’s birthday!

Fiverr also has TONS of different gigs, like ghostwriters and illustrators too!

I got jesus to wish a happy birthday to my friends and they loved it! Seriously best $12 I’ve ever spent!

I should add, in other ways, Fiverr absolutely sucks. Fiverr encourages people to sell their labor for FAR below what their labor is worth - especially stuff like ghostwriters and illustrators. For more information:

@12minutestomidnight that is not true. Fiverr is an international marketplace. People from India, turkey, Poland, Mexico etc all provide services. Labour in those countries is cheaper. The costs of living in those countries is cheaper as well. As an American, you can't compete against those prices. It's like why all products are manufactured in China, it's more cost effective. You don't have to sell on fiverr if you don't want to. It's just basic economics that explains the low price.

I recently started journaling and for some reason I feel a lot less anxious and I get things done?

Taking a few minutes out of your day to journal is a great mindfulness practice that helps you focus your thoughts, reduce stress, and help you achieve your goals! Not many people do it because it looks like you are wasting your time but it saves so much time and makes your life so much better! I recommend all my followers to buy a journal and keep up the practice for at least a week. You will notice a positive change in your life. Guaranteed!

If you are more like me and don't like staring at a blank page then please check out the Morning Sidekick Journal by Habitnest! I got my journal during their Kickstarter campaign and have been using it ever since! It's a journal that helps you implement healthy habits and win your morning. They also have other journals for meditation, nutrition, and weightlifting. But just look at this <3

Before I started journaling I was always stressed and directionless and maybe this sounds a bit silly but I am actually conquering my life now!

Check out their website here: habitnest.com

I LOVE IT!

OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN

POOR GRANDMA!!!

the original spider-verse comics had some truly amazing moments of dialogue

moths

super paper mario spoilers but you don’t get context

Hozier did an improvised Q&A on twitter tonight

And lastly, my favourite

You can’t dislike him. He Is We

It’s like peering into my own life

Whenever a brand’s twitter tries to use a meme or young people’s slang

mr rogers being potentially bisexual is cool i guess but i feel like that shouldn’t overshadow the fact that francois clemmons, who played officer clemmons on mister rogers’ neighborhood, is a gay man who was pressured to hide his identity for decades in order to be allowed to remain on the show 

I need to do a proper update to “Things My Physio Has Said” but I lack the spoons at present. I will however share this short snippet.

For some months now he’s been hounding me to give up purses. Arm ones, shoulder ones, cross body ones, you name it, he’s been a one man campaign against what he calls “the scourge of women’s necks everywhere”.

(That and salon hair washing chairs. He hates salon chairs with the burning passion of a thousand suns and is so happy that the place I go to doesn’t use them.)

He has such a visceral hatred for them that he’s been shushed several times by other therapists mid rant, momentarily forgetting to use his “working on a client voice” and going off on a 15 minute tangent about how fashion is in itself an inherently classicist and sexist construct, and how the majority of clothing and fashion accessories aimed at women are designed to not only inconvenience them but to also harm them, in minute, tiny ways every day all day, wearing you down until the pain becomes normal and you can never figure out why you’re always so tired.

And it was during one of these rants, whilst lamenting the lack of proper pockets in the majority of my clothes, that he pointed out quite sensibly to me that backpacks were indeed a thing, my dear. So I decided to invest in one that isn’t too bulky and doesn’t make me look like a high schooler (I am but a short baby-faced hobbit) but can still fit all my vital shit in it like my epi-pens and my work folios. And I feel like I keep saying this, but it really is quite amazing the difference adjusting one small, seemingly inconsequential thing can do for your health.

My right shoulder, which is always inflamed, and also just so happens to be the side I carry my purses on because I have some mobility issues on the left, is actually doing better. In three short weeks the inflammation has gone down, and the muscles and tendons in my arm are a lot less gnarled up and compressed feeling. And tonight when I showed up with my new backpack, Magic Physio Man caught a glimpse of it in the waiting area and did a little jig, proclaiming “yeeeeesssss, fight the system through self care.”

And well, when he puts it like that.