This is one of the funniest things I've found on tumblr and I've seen some shit

What if my chosen profession, which is largely based around non-judgemental compassion, acceptance, and seeing life from other's perspectives, with the purpose of harm reduction, puts me in a situation where people tell me they like things I don't? Do I kill them in self-defense? Can I have a gun

Knitting is my secret weapon to disarm any Karen. One glance at the hat I'm making and her power is done. If I see the scarf she's working on it's all over. We're suddenly humanized the moment I ask about the yarn. We can talk about fair isle and cabling and qiviut, and she has to be nice to me. Her friends are instantly nicer.

They should pay me to sort objects by color and shape and size all day I'd be good at it I'd be so fucking good at it

i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes

“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”

and friend got kinda mad at me lmao

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

go white boy goooo

no white boy not like that

white boy i've never seen anyone fuck it up like that

"i don't like this thing and i wish i didn't have to see people talking about it all the time"

girl (gender neutral), you are on tungle dot com:

choose your fighter.

do we fuck with the Spoke (sprite and coke)

there are divine wonders in my Spoke

painted the divine wonders in your spoke, boss! o7

OH MY GOD

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB…

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

date of origin: August 9th, 2018

The unbridled joy of seeing this pass by again, spotting the little red heart like “ah… my old friend. Spongebob Human Anatomy Squarepants.

dream job is to be that one rotted hand that bursts out of the grave to snatch some stupid idiot by the ankles and pull them under the earth

I wanna see a how it's made episode for uncrustables. I need to know what happens to the crusts.

You don’t wanna know…

Had a short stint working in the uncrustables factory as one of the rats nibbling all the crusts of and let me tell you the conditions are atrocious

this is definitely NOT the moon girl episode with a trans character that disney shelved and has no plans on airing and i am definitely NOT advising you to spread it around like wildfire in retaliation to this stupid-ass chickenshit coward decision. i repeat, i am DEFINITELY not encouraging you to spread this episode around like crazy to show disney that trans people will not bow down to the whims of the people that want them dead. definitely DON'T do that. definitely

Here is the archive link in case the video gets claimed by copyright and taken down from youtube

Any travel advice site will tell you to travel like a local, but honestly you should local like a traveller. Go out with wide eyes and curiosity. Visit museums and parks and art galleries, try out the overpriced but highly rated restaurants that only tourists visit, take photos and video, stop to read those heritage information signs, treat yourself to an ice cream on a hot day. Don't let tourists be the only ones who take joy in your home.

via

i love when large dogs are picked up and they’re so absolutely confused as to how this could happen that they just sorta

I found another

Sometimes even the villains have standards

GO BABY GO