jamie benn in open ice: stronger
he looks like the smarmy lounge singer who hits on you at the bar until his wife shows up and they get into a huge argument that involves her throwing your drink in his face, him trying to placate her by crooning their wedding song, the bartender sighing and calling the cops for the third time this week alone, and you crouched safely behind the bar with the barback, both of you eating the bar’s complimentary trail mix straight from the bag by the handful while you take in the best show of the night
Because you aren’t getting the whole experience w/o @coffeebuddha ‘s tags: #okay but seriously, #what is happening with that shirt?, #is it textured?, #what is that pattern?, #is it actually encrusted with tiny crushed rhinestones???,is it machine washable?, #DO THE BUTTONS SIMPLY FAIL TO FUNCTION FROM THE WAIST UP??????, #I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, #like did that look come with a free el camino, #and a binder of the finest cologne samples you can rip from a magazine, #WHY AM I INTO THIS?
I DEMAND ANSWERS
someone came into my inbox to let me know that they ‘don’t appreciate’ the way i spoke about jamie benn’s look, which practically screams ‘I’LL INVITE YOU UP TO MY HOTEL ROOM AND THEN SPEND TWO HOURS CRYING AT THE FOOT OF THE BED WHILE YOU TRY AND FAIL TO FIND A WAY TO GRACEFULLY REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION BECAUSE SOCIETY HAS TAUGHT YOU THAT BEING RUDE TO The Mens IS ~WRONG’ and i frankly feel sorry for that person’s lack of vision