have some creatures

Millie's experience with IMP puts a lot into perspective to me, so get ready for another Striker analysis

I'm not sure if many people remember, but Striker was offered to work at IMP. IMP, the business that an imp started on his own that Striker himself admits is impressive, where imps can live up to their full potential, and is even named after the race. People constantly try to explain that working for rich people doesn't make him a hypocrite because "HE NEEDS THE MONEY AHEOHRBEVW" and "HE LIVES IN A MINESHAFT!!1!11!" But he had the perfect opportunity to not only make a decent living but also work amongst other imps and be part of a family, but instead he rejects that in favor of working with the rich assholes he hates so much (one of which is even more classist than his target) while committing lateral violence against other imps. He'd rather do that than actually advocate for change or support other imps... because, like I've said a million times, he does not care about other members of his race. Just himself

Helluva Boss as textposts part 18/?

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Never getting over the fact that this was originally supposed to be Blitz...

I think everyone knows the story of how Stolas was supposed to be an antagonist, but one of my favorite pieces of lore is that Blitz was originally just meant to be some comic relief villain that wreaked havoc at the Hazbin Hotel with his lackey (Moxxie).

But since the cast of Hazbin Hotel was getting so big, instead of scrapping Blitz and Moxxie altogether, Viv decided to design an entire show based off the both of them, in particular, Blitz.

~~~

Man literally went from looking like a candy cane to the hottest imp in all of Hell, and I love that.

And then Stolas went from being an antagonist to what was originally supposed to be a sitcom, to an eventual love interest for the main character.

Blitz is the reason Helluva Boss exists, and Stolas is what made the show what it is today.

And I just adore that, I love how both these characters play a titular role for the very foundation of the show.

Looking through some pictures of old official Helluva Boss merch (idk if any currently are horny)

And I gotta say

They do not shy away from showing Blitzø's huge-ass dick

If he is in any kind of sexy or revealing outfit, it will be on full display

Edit: For the people looking for examples here you go lol

just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

like the reason this exists is because none of the words sound like each other, which means that even with a terrible signal both parties should be able to clearly understand the words being spelled

i am dead serious that i believe this should be taught in school

What if they had matching outfits? 😳

Merry Blitzfizzmas to those who celebrate

So. Crack AU for Helluva Boss!

-Pre-Show(ish). I.M.P are doing Assassin Stuff in Hell, Moxxie & Millie are newlyweds, and Blitz is trying to think of creative ways to improve business and make them stand out from other groups providing similar services.

-Prince Stolas is getting a Divorce! Because it's Hell, and he is Royalty, there are some Bullshit Magic Rules to follow: In order to get his preferred Custody & Division of Assets, etc, he's going to have to go through 7 UNIQUE TRIALS, each one devised by one of the 7 DEADLY SINS!

-(The 7 Trials is one of the reasons Goetia hardly ever get divorced.)

-Asmodeus, who's for a lot on his plate and isn't especially fond of or well acquainted with the repressed Prince, consults with Fizzarolli for ideas for a Trial or Quest the put him through.

-Fizzarolli, who has been drinking with Verosika, and who recently saw a commercial for I.M.P while chanel-surfing, suggests a plan that involves setting Prince Stolas up with Blitz. He thinks it would be funny, and also lead to entertaining anguish for both parties involved-- which is part of the point of the Circus of 7-Trials Divorce Court!

-Asmodeus decides to go for it!

.

Stolas, who won a Bidding-War (and provided a Prophetic Consultation on Future Investment Strategies) at Mammon's behest, completed a Race/Fetch-Quest for Queen Beezlebub, and did 1 Month of Mediated Marriage-Counselling Sessions for Princess Charlie in Pride, isn't sure WHY Asmodeus is pairing him up with the sexiest imp he's ever met in his life for this Trial, but he's determined to win against Stella (and her assigned-by-Asmodeus datemate) in this competition as well!

-Blitz would like to know why HE of all people is involved in this mess, and also, what's the catch?!

-Blitz always thought that if Fizzarolli were going to try and get him killed (for very understandable reasons), he'd use some of that $$$Big Star Money$$$ to order a hit like a normal person. There's got to be SOMETHING wrong with the Prince, right? A wall full of decoratively-mounted Imp horns, some horrible and/or horribly dangerous faults or vices... Something. Because Fizzarolli hates him, and there's no WAY there isn't a catch.

-Moxxie, Millie, and Loona would also like to know how the Hell Blitz got involved in this mess. It's bad for business, probably! Also, it's a WEIRD SITUATION!

-Anyway. Stolas and Blitz having to do some kind of Lovey-Dovey Reality TV Bullshit Quest/Competition against Stella & HER assigned Plus-One, because the Powers that Be thought it would make them entertainingly miserable.

-But they are SURPRISED!

Always an angel never a God

direct action 😂😂😂

the working class hero we need

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think your life might be a little bit insane,” Tim says, now increasingly certain that Kon is just a living weirdness magnet and it is therefore his fault that every single Young Justice mission so far has been objectively buck-wild and borderline deranged. Previously he was just blaming the concentration of teenage superheroes with very different power sources and specialties and personalities all stubbornly jammed into one even more stubborn team, but “previously” did not include all the necessary data or any stories about gargoyle-riding supermodels possessed by dead gunslingers. 

Tim has heard some stories in the community, for sure, but that is a story.

They do, in fact, get “so many” grilled cheese. Grilled . . . cheeses? Tim actually does not even know, and is in no state of mind to be figuring it out while Kon is grinning in delight at the truly ridiculous and inhuman stack of sandwiches Tim has somehow wound up being the one carrying for them. 

Probably because he insisted, because he couldn’t help remembering how it’d felt carrying Kon’s shopping bags for him at the mall. But that’s not the point, alright? 

Also he hadn’t had any bills smaller than a fifty on him, so, uh . . . 

So they got a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and gave like fifteen of them to some homeless guys on the corner and another fifteen to a group of random drunk college kids who’d been almost as delighted as Kon by the existence of so damn many grilled cheeses, basically. That’s that kind of thing that superheroes and vigilantes do, okay? Totally normal superhero/vigilante behavior. 

Less normal is the fact that Tim is still carrying twelve one-dollar grilled cheese sandwiches while Kon munches his way through his sixth one with no signs of slowing down. He’d gotten through three, personally, and that’d been kinda pushing it as it was. 

Kon is so damn cute, Tim notes resignedly. The resignation is mostly because Kon’s chewing with his mouth open and his cheeks bulging with half-chewed grilled cheese while he brags about the time he fought a dragon-sized living gargoyle ( which, what the fuck? ) and also some friend of his who’s a . . . tiger, apparently? Somehow? Like, Tim is pretty sure Kon meant “tiger-man” literally, yeah. 

Also he’s ninety-six percent certain there aren’t any active vigilantes operating under the name “Tigerman”, so yeah, presumably it was literal. 

. . . why is the tiger-man a king, Tim wonders after five minutes of listening to Kon describe the weirdest political situation he has heard of in at least two and a half months. Why is the tiger-man a king, and exactly what country operates like this? Do they not have literally any form of functioning government besides the one single tiger-man and his apparently-horrible bat-wife? How do all those wildly-varied species actually reproduce?

Why is the evil advisor literally named “Ratsputin”?

Video by The Panda Redd on TikTok

Speaking as someone who actually had the George Perez black and white portfolio of all of those covers, yes this is exactly how Tim Drake became Robin. he literally showed up on Dick Grayson's front doorstep and said Hi so I noticed that you are the superhero formerly known as Robin which means Bruce Wayne is Batman and no I am not selling cookies Why would you ask that... and it kind of just went on from there. Dick was so impressed by the fact that an 11-year-old had actually managed to do what none of the adult criminals of the entire DCU had managed to do in a pre-internet age and basically just bundled him off to his dad with his blessing to Robin it up.

Currently sick, and when I'm sick, my body throws me strong directional cravings for food. I'm eating a bowl of shredded cheese with onion powder it, and I've just realized that I've somehow made French onion soup, hold the soup????

Understandable, Aotearoa invented the cheese roll, which is basically "if French onion soup was a grilled cheese sandwich"