Gay Hedgehogs and Vampire Hunters

A comic based on a dream I had the other night.

The idea of something imitating my dog and coming into my home sent chills down my spine

I love that the two reactions to this comic are "OMG, creepy!" and "OMG, two dogs!!!"

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

these tags are gold omg

Absolutely captivated by this very specific type of image

2010s creepypasta called 'the slovak cooking video': genuinely the most terrifying thing you ever read, kept you up at night on the verge of a panic attack. if go back and reread it now it's not actually very good but, like, cmon

reddit nosleep post titled 'it's been 32,105 seconds since I've last seen my cat': high-concept horror writing with a genuinely good premise ruined by the protagonist being overly hyper-logical, and simultaneously, randomly incapable of basic reasoning because the author's first idea for the story was how cool the explanation of the concept would be, which we haven't gotten to yet. has rick and morty prose

scp foundation article #42069 named 'a funny hat': okay yeah, christ. fuck. i want to show this to every person i know. this changed my life. used to be absolute garbage before it was put up for rewrite and spent two years being ship-of-theseus'd by a group of new authors. was good enough that it spawned an entire mythos of low-quality derivatives to make into 'iceberg' videos

this is literally my favorite video

this is exactly what being a girl feels like

So Re: Dracula ended and has left a horror-themed-audiofiction-shaped hole in your life? Please allow me to recommend Shadows At The Door as your next listen! Some reasons you may be interested:

Genuinely, Shadows at the Door is one of my favourite podcasts, full stop, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's just *so damn good*. Please consider giving it a listen!

Earlier today I got hit with a wave of pretty severe pain (my body does this from time to time) and I climbed into the bed and put a gravity blanket on and took a nap. It was incredibly deep and full of very vivid dreams. In one of the dreams, I was looking at an entire room filled with brightly-wrapped pieces of candy, just examining the quality of the foil.

Anyway I woke up from the nap feeling A Bit Off and came back to the computer intending to try to force myself to get a little work done - hard to do when Body Hurts, also hard to do when one knows that ones job COULD be Brightly Colored Foil Inspector - and then I saw this

Apparently, today, JUST LIKE HOME won a BRITISH FANTASY AWARD for Best Horror Novel!! I am totally floored and so honored!!

Thank you so, so much to everyone who nominated, voted, and clapped when my name was announced. I am deeply touched and honored to have won this award. I promise to try to continue making upsetting works of fiction for as long as you'll all have me.

--gailey

I would absolutely kill for a Dracula adaptation that really delves into the tragedy of manners aspect of it, the way that everyone is so worried about maintaining exactly the right face to the right people and how that makes so much of their situation worse. Everything from Jonathan trapped in the bonds of hospitality to the situation with Lucy's mother to a hundred instances of just not wanting to worry anyone. Like, give me a Dracula miniseries shot like it's Jane Austen.

You could do a whole college essay about how one of Van Helsing's strengths is in the way he disrupts social norms, even though he isn't immune to them.

Credit to everyone who talked about this last year, I definitely didn't come up with it, but it's been living in my head rent-free since last fall and we're watching it amp up again and oh how it hurts.

I will die on this hill that the best horror produced in any medium has at its heart the dilemma of "How do I stand up at this fancy dinner party before all these well-to-do guests and convince them there's a monster among us without insulting our gracious host and committing the most grevious sin of being perceived as impolite?"

oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.

phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?

call 911 and something that is definitely not a person picks up.

call 911 and get an operator only for the call to become increasingly weirder and more sinister until you realize that whatever picked up is not there to help.

text messages from someone who's dead. voicemails that sound like dead air until you turn the volume all the way up.

emergency alerts for weather that doesn't happen on earth.

Your phone rings - but it's your phone number on the screen. You answer it, but all you hear is heavy, laboured breathing. You go to say something, only to hear your voice on the other end tell you "It's too late," and hang up.

You get a message from a number you don't recognise. It's a picture of you from behind. You turn and see there's nobody there. When you look back at your phone, you see the sender has sent another text - "Sorry, wrong number."

Your phone rings - it's a private number. You answer it, only to feel the sensation of something licking your ear.

You wake up to find a voicemail. You play it back, only to hear an autotuned version of your own voice reciting a Bible passage - 1 Peter 2: 18-20.

You get an emergency alert. It says "I'm sorry."

every time you try to call anyone, the version of you that didn't get trapped in the hell maze picks up instead, and she's getting increasingly scared and angry to hear from you

honestly even the more mundane versions could be terrifying.

you call 999 and the operator says they send someone as soon as they can but it's a 80 minute wait for an ambulance and a 90 minute wait for police. you try and emphasise that you're in immediate danger. it's not even that the operator doesn't believe you, it's just that budget cuts mean they have no-one to send. you're left with the acute knowledge that by the time help comes, it will probably be too late.

honestly even

the more mundane versions could

be terrifying.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha

creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker

/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door

r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.

r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.

mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.

indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on

also get peer reviewed.

the weirdest thing that happened to me 25 months ago was getting sent this counterfeit pizza hut coupon

Oh the kitch horror

I’ve never been afraid of the ocean.

  (Based on a dream I had about a creature that survives by connecting to undersea internet cables. Happy Halloween!!)