@eileentothestars / eileentothestars.tumblr.com
Simple explanation of the bills that farmers in India are protesting - in TikTok form!
hey non indians are encouraged to reblog this actually since what the indian government hates most is word of their terrible governing spreading outside of india!
Hi I wanted to ask, I have an Indian-British girl who is getting married to an American-Taiwanese man, and she's going to introduce him to her family. The only reference I have of Indian family attitudes is from Bend It Like Beckham where non-Hindus are unacceptable. Does anyone have any advice on the spectrum of Indian family views on interracial relationships? I hope to get her family on the same page in the end. (cont)
Also this might be stupid of me to ask, do any Indians on here have any experiences of a traditional Indian wedding? (I’m not sure if my character and her future husband will even be able to have one because her fiancé isn’t Indian but it’d still be good to know. Also if it’s possible for such a wedding to happen when the groom is foreign)
A friend of mine, an Indian Christian man, is actually married to a Japanese woman, but this is quite rare. The family would find it hard to accept someone from a different culture. Typically, they’d bring up issues like differing food habits and traditions as a reason why the marriage won’t work. Having said that, though, many families do come around.
A relative married to a American Jewish man. They chose to have two cultural ceremonies, one each for the Hindu culture, and for the Jewish one. Both halves of the family were very respectful of each other. Sometimes it might take the families longer to come around; this might happen when (or if) the grandkids come along.
–Mod Rasana
I can tell you about my personal experiences with interracial relationships.
There are two people in my family dating or marrying non-Indians. One, D, took up with a Persian-German guy who was in her college. She started becoming bitchy and fighting with my mom every time she was home for the holidays. Mom didn’t approve of her boyfriend for many reasons, the prime being that he was the suspected cause of her bitchiness. She also said he didn’t seem to put an effort into making a good first impression on her and my siblings. D took offense.
When they married, D made it as inconvenient as possible so that we didn’t plan to attend either the traditional Indian one or the British one. Our grandfather convinced my mom it would be a good idea to go. Long story short, it SUCKED. D hasn’t visited in more than ten years, and we haven’t seen her since 2011. Her husband has been quiet about all this, so we don’t know how much he was involved. The interracial stuff paled next to the drama.
A was different. He introduced us to his Farsi girlfriend, who is very sweet and the polar opposite of D. She makes it a point to spend time with us, and is unofficially part of the family during outings. Previous girlfriends were white, Asian, and even Indian. They’re getting married in the spring. Mom had reservations, but she’s accepted A’s fiancee. I like her a lot because she makes A happy.
In short? It depends.
If I married a white guy now, my grandparents would only be relieved that I finally settled down. I’m not interested in marriage at this point because I’ve been getting mixed messages about dating. Mom gets snippy and catty if she finds out I’m on a date, but hints she’d like me to get married. I don’t know what she wants. Though I could have a traditional Indian marriage, I’d elope and go to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks.
As for your character’s family, establish the dynamics ahead of time. They could be accepting if she’s older than thirty, coming close to “Christmas Cake”. Perhaps they’re assimilated and more flexible. Or they may have unconscious prejudices. As long as you establish it, then your conflict will be plausible.
- Jaya
As for an Indian wedding, I do have personal experience but the kind of wedding is very dependent on the State the character comes from, their caste, and so on. Most people of Indian origin here in the United States just work with the temple priest (from the North Indian temple, or the South Indian temple) and pick and choose elements of the ceremony that works for them. The basic gods are the same but there are regional variations.)
–Mod Rasana
I haven’t been to an Indian wedding since I was eighteen and I don’t remember it due to food poisoning from the dinner. Mom says South Indian weddings involve everyone sitting in the sun and waiting for the priests to finish the ritual.
Yes, traditional Indian weddings can happen with the bride or groom not being Indian.
- Jaya
@writingwithcolor (Long post)
I am the product of an Indian Hindu and Japanese marriage. I have a sibling married to a Taiwanese American. Welcome to my life.
The big problem in my family was from the Japanese side. Many East Asians are racist. Surprise! My grandparents refused to acknowledge my parents’ relationship until they got married. It almost tore my family apart. My Japanese grandparents got on board when I was born, because I was their first grandchild. However, I live in a majority E. Asian part of Los Angeles, and I am barred from mixing socially with most older generations of Taiwanese families because of my Indian heritage. My siblings in-laws are a rare exception, but they also appreciate that our families share many similar values.
With my Indian side, the big issue was my mother’s religion. That she was Buddhist and educated is what sold them. She also promised my grandmother to never divorce. For Hindu Brahmins, education and family values are key, so make sure that you have the desi person’s religion and caste (if applicable) in mind. Btw, Bend it like Beckham is about a Sikh family.
For my father’s part, he promised to eat fish. For a Taiwanese family, feeding a strict vegetarian Hindu could be a nightmare, given how important food can be. However, strict Buddhist Taiwanese people are also vegetarian (Like Sibling’s in-laws). Buddhism on the E. Asian side can marry well with Hindu, Buddhist, Sindhi and Jain families because the religions are compatible. However, if your Indian character is Muslim, pork and what is halal would be a huge dietary stumbling point, as might alcohol consumption.
My parents’ marriage has held together by mutual familial respect (Interracial marriages where the families don’t get along rarely last), my mother’s promise and my parents’ commitment to educating their children on both of their heritages. Interracial families require tons of love, communication, compromise and effort to work. We’ve been privileged enough to be able to do the work. I’m fortunate to have know other EAsian/ brown multiracial people, and many of us are similar in that family is everything, heritage is everything and we know we can never take either for granted.
Weddings:
The key thing with Hindu weddings is that if one party has no caste (because they are not Hindu), the priest must invent a caste category for that person. For Brahmins, a gotra (sub-caste) must be found for the non-Brahmin party because Brahmins cannot marry someone from the same gotra. My mother often teases my father that he married a harijan (a no longer the acceptable word often applied to Dalits meaning “casteless”), because that’s what she was.
When sibling got married, they also participated in a tea ceremony with the Taiwanese elders.
@nexy308769 Feel free to message me directly if you think I can answer any more questions about family dynamics. I can also answer questions on Hindu weddings.
And More Commentary:
@haider-annah says:
In the last paragraph [of the Mods’ post] I think there should be specification mods are talking about hindu indian weddings since as an indian muslim we dont marry at temples but general venues. I think do not leave out the religious diversity of India anywhere and especially in regard to hinduism being painted generally.
@hestiaolympus8 says:
It depends on the kind of family she has. The family dynamic u set up initially is gonna make all the difference in whether they accept her boyfriend or not. Regarding the question with how marriages are conducted. I don’t see it becoming a huge problem. I’m Indian and and to be fair I’ve only attended Indian weddings where both the bride and groom are Indian. But In regards to all the ceremonies and rituals the fact that’s he’s not Indian wouldn’t make a difference.
And as haider-annah pointed out the religion of the British Indian girl will also make a difference. I’m gonna comment on hindu weddings here. For hindu weddings there’s a bunch of astrological things that are taken into account. And a temple priest(pujari) who’s consulted. And things like your star sign and birth date etc etc consulted. And the date of the wedding should be on an auspicious date (which has a lot of things to consider again.)
But this is all the things that go into planning it. You don’t necessarily have to show it. Most hindu weddings across the country usually have a bunch of ceremonies that are conducted.. And plus that fact that she’s living abroad means they would proably change the customs according to how it suits them. If you want some more in depth information about wedding rituals and stuff feel free to message me. I don’t know all the rituals but I could help direct u on where to find some specific information or give u information that i already know.
@bhujangan says:
@nexy308769 please read some of the comments. The mods left out how much diversity there is in South Asia. Weddings will look different depending on religion and region. I can answer any questions on Punjabi Sikh weddings (which is what the family from Bend It Like Beckham is, they aren’t Hindus).
‘previously undreamed-of’
this just gave me a glimpse into an alternate reality where human society functions the way carpenter ant society does
We actually have something similar in India. It’s done for the festival of Janmashtami which celebrates the birth of Krishna. The story goes that when he was a baby, Krishna was always getting into pots of yogurt and white butter and just eating it by the handfuls. So his parents and village took to hanging the pots from the ceiling to keep it from him. But he and his friends would get long sticks and climb on each other’s shoulders and steal the pots anyway. So on Janmashtami now, people attempt to recreate his heist and it’s just the most adorable thing.
Castellers from Catalonia found out about this tradition in India, and they thought it was amazing that we had such a similar tradition so far away. So they went to India to meet them. They filmed it all and released it as a documentary on YouTube (called Dahi Handi - Documental viatge a l’India, you can find it easily).
Then in 2006, they invited a team of govindas from India to perform in Vilafranca’s square during their festivities. Vilafranca’s central square, especially during the Sant Fèlix festivities, is the place for castells. It’s the most important center for this tradition (people from Tarragona please don’t kill me for saying this but you know it’s true). And the Vilafranca colla (casteller group) is one of the best and most important ones in all Catalonia, they’re like superstars in the world of castells. So this is a huge honour to be invited by the castellers of Vilafranca. The govindas also received an official welcome in the city hall, and invited to a rehearsal of the Vilafranca castellers. They rehearsed together and then made a tower all together in Vilafranca’s central square, where the Vilafranca castellers were at the base to make the govindas’ structure stronger and higher:
(The ones with white shirt and black trousers are Indian govindas, the ones with white trousers and green shirts are the Catalan castellers from Vilafranca)
Everybody was very happy and the govindas and castellers got along together very well so, in 2019, 200 castellers from Vilafranca (including the mayor, who is a member) went to India to visit them again for the Janmashtami festivity (that @thepivanquisher explained) in Mumbai.
The day they arrived in India, the Vilafranca castellers did some castells in front of the Gateway of India monument, ending with two pilars where the anxenetes (the kids on top) unfolded a flag of India and a flag of Catalonia.
The castellers and govindas also rehearsed together in Mumbai. I’ve seen a video and it’s so lovely, it was in a square of a working class neighbourhood and it was full of people waiting to meet them.
The castellers were also invited to take part in the ritual before Janmashtami, and they were also received by the Islamic community of a neighbourhood of the city. They were very happy to be so well received.
And then the day came:
(That’s govindas doing their tower and behind you can see the Vilafranca castellers, in their usual clothes, cheering for the govindas).
(And that’s the castellers doing their castell after!)
The castellers also performed in a school in the Mumbai and used their rest of the time there to give support to the NGO Mumbai Smiles which helps fight against poverty in the slums.
(The castellers in a school)
Again, they got along very well and were happy to celebrate together their shared passion. They have also learnt from each other: the Catalans showed their method to the Indians so they now can build higher towers, and by looking at how Indians climb they learned how to be faster. That’s why they have invited each other to their countries more times after that.
I think it’s wonderful and I hope to see more of such exchanges 😄
(By the way, we don’t call them “human towers”. In Catalan, “castell” means “castle”. They are human castles, and “castellers”, the people who do it, means “castle-ers” or “castle builders”.)
I love this
Now THAT is wonderful cultural sharing!
Hey remember when US and Russia was all like “We’re the best!!! We’ve won the space race!!!!” But India sent a kick-ass space probe to Mars and the whole mission was fuel efficient, costed less and a roaring success in the first try and then they were like “…..wait no that can’t be true” and still have the audacity to call us “underdeveloped” or only view us as a ‘third world country’? :)
Remember when NYT mocked India for this very thing and an TOI (a major indian newspaper) responded with this? :)
They were being racist asf and we were till respectful literally fuck you if you think ‘third world counties’ can’t be better than you
white people can and should reblog this
and shout out to the women engineers integral to the launch
“Indian staff from the Indian Space Research Organisation celebrate after the Mars Orbiter Spacecraft entered Mars’s orbit.
On November 5, 2013, a rocket launched toward Mars. It was India’s first interplanetary mission, Mangalyaan, and a terrific gamble. Only 40 percent of missions sent to Mars by major space organizations—NASA, Russia’s, Japan’s, or China’s—had ever been a success. No space organization had succeeded on its first attempt. What’s more, India’s space organization, ISRO, had very little funding: while NASA’s Mars probe, Maven, cost $651 million, the budget for this mission was $74 million.
This was not the only success of the mission. An image of the scientists celebrating in the mission control room went viral. Girls in India and beyond gained new heroes: the kind that wear sarees and tie flowers in their hair, and send rockets into space.”
there’s a movie adaptation of this! it’s obviously more dramatized/they use different names but i really really loved the movie! it’s called mission mangal and it was the first time i had heard of this and i was so surprised that literally? no one talked about it??? what they accomplished is incredible.
ALSO, Mangalyaan launched in 2013 and was meant to be a 6 month mission. It’s been in orbit around Mars now for more than 5 years and has enough propellant to keep going for even longer.
“The kind that wear sarees and tie flowers in their hair, and send rockets into space.”
FUCK YES. THIS IS THE TYPE OF REPRESENTATION I’VE BEEN HERE FOR!!
I love how the dudes at back are pure happy!!
colonizers ruin everything
This is true for a lot of other places too. Prior to colonization, Southeast Asian women had a lot more autonomy, sexuality was not seen as shameful, and being gay/or and transgender was more accepted and sometimes even revered. SEA history can basically be summarized as “everything changed when the white men attacked.”
The second largest country in the world just decriminalized homosexuality. The Supreme Court of india struck away a colonial era ban on gay sex. “History owes an apology to LGBT persons for ostracisation and discrimination; It is difficult to right a wrong by history. But we can set the course for the future.” This is such a victory for the lgbtq+ community within India and all over the world. 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
“I want to give people social and financial empowerment, so eventually people who want to come out won’t be affected. They will have their own social security system. It won’t make a difference if they are disinherited.”
maybe you meant
This is so important.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
Reblogs this x1000 to try to get rid of cultural ignorance when it comes to this. Because breaking down Indian stereotypes in particular is incredibly important to me for many reasons.
This got me dying
who paid for this study bruh
it’‘s literally seasoning. that’s it. that’s what make food taste good.
Bro it’s more complex than just ‘ey they used seasoning’
It’s HOW they used seasoning, compared to other areas of the world.
Indian seasoning does this neat color wheel of flavor, fitting a bunch of spices that are very DIFFERENT from each other, to create a huge range of complex flavor.
Meanwhile in Italy for instance, they tend to use flavors that are SIMILAR. For instance, Basil and Oregano, or Sweet fish with Sweet wine. It makes foods less likely to contrast weirdly in your mouth, and it’s the basis of why fancy european people pair red wines with steak and white wines with chicken. Savory with Savory, Light with Light.
“ That like flavors should be combined for better dishes—an unspoken but popular hypothesis stipulated by recipe-building in North American, Western European, and Latin American cultures—is an idea essentially reversed in Indian cuisine. “
well yes, spices need to not just complement the food but contrast against each other. to get maximum flavour when cooking indian food:
1. use whole spices, dry roast small quantities of individual spices together and then grind them to a powder. balance is what you’re looking for, not just chucking in handfuls of seasonings willy nilly because quantity does not equal flavour when it comes to spicing indian food.
2. whole spices go in the oil first. always. also everything gets fried on its own before it’s chucked into the sauce/curry. even the curry base is started off by frying onions/ginger/garlic/tomatoes or any combination thereof. basically…FRY THAT SHIT. i don’t know of any regional cuisine in india that uses stock for simmering. frying everything individually is how we add flavour instead.
3. indian food needs to be cooked long and slow for the flavours to really merge. don’t skimp on the cooking time if you can because that makes a huge difference.
This was so enlightening
I feel a need to mention that the researchers for this study are NOT white, as stated above. They’re Indian. It’s Indian people saying “why does our cuisine work and taste so vastly different than anywhere else in the world?” To quote from the article:
“Researchers Anupam Jaina, Rakhi N Kb, and Ganesh Bagler from the Indian Institute for Technology in Jodhpur ran a fine-tooth comb through TarlaDalal.com—a recipe database of more than 17,000 dishes that self-identifies as “India’s #1 food site”—in attempts to decode the magic of your chicken tikka masala or aloo gobi.”
@zombiesock the good good shit yo
SCIENCE!
Her name is Madhu Kinnar.
very important to note that she is from the Dalit community a highly oppressed community in India who were also labelled ‘untouchables’ at one point she is truly a remarkable woman
