Person: “Where do you live?”

Me: United Jtates of Jmerica

if u live here tag ur state i’m Jonnecticut 

Jexas

Jersey. I'm jersey. I have escaped the meme.

since I’ve never seen someone actually post the song on tumblr

LITERALLY MY FAVORITE VERSION OF THIS SONG

C Minor. C MOTHERFUCKING MINOR! THAT’S MY INSTRUMENTS FUCKING KEY!

Anon requested Lapis and I was like “Ye she seems like a fun character to draw!” and I was right. I’m not much a cartoon watcher, tho my friends have been trying to get me to watch SU, kind of lol.

Commission | Twitter

describe your oc’s backstory in the shittiest way you can imagine

local girl doesnt die when she’s supposed to, starts reading, becomes reckless

parents die, becomes edgy, works at a grocery store

wants adventure, doesn’t get adventure, pouty

Shitty life, shitty dad, world ends, problems solved, but becomes shitty himself

asshole becomes bigger asshole with help of magical talking pen

stickman wants to go leave a box and succeeds but dies soon after

tree that may or may not be over compensating, in true arbor fashion throws a lot of shade

elaborate second life server needed maintenance like ten years ago

Librarian and his pet lizard raise a gayer librarian

Sad dad fails to emotionally relate to son and causes arms and wife to explode, rebuilds arms, attempts to rebuild wife

she might be nobility, but surprise! she’s adopted! now her family’s dead. time to get salty.

she definitely played doctor and a bunch of other people lost.

gay gamer (gaymer) learns that videogames are Serious Business and worth committing charity fraud over

musician’s life get’s flipped, turned upside down, deals with resulting frustration by declaring war on bugs

everyone is scared of her and she is sad so her eventual solution is to become scarier

knockoff “superior alternative” robot made by former employee of the original manufacturer in an attempt to show up said manufacturer

a botched demon summoning brings forth r2d2 but made of flesh

horse

he’s angry!

horse soldier gets way too into cybernetics. “ but i do it to make these treatments available for everyone in the future”

Genetically modified ex-janitor puts wiener in everything

Grumpy squirrel delinquent graduates to grumpy squirrel delinquent knight slash babysitter

Orphan and brother dies orphanage is shitty to her.

Girl with shitty life tries to die and fails becoming immortal.

Living ball of hair resets and gets to live with other living ball of hair.

The demon Queen of a pocket world marries a blind angry furry

small angry child becomes happy

angry and smol girl screams at rich people when her girlfriend shows her that its very satisfying

Smol bisexual time travels and falls in love w mom’s dead best friend

smol likes smelling tol

tiny man keeps getting in some deep shit

Smol genderless alien fights everyone

girl moves around a lot, starts selling toys and starting wars

Abused feisty girl has shitty twin and gets murdered because of her shitty twin and shitty boyfriend.

PUBLIC SCHOOL

1. Our power goes out every two weeks and we’re not allowed to go home early, so we sit at our desks for the next few hours doing nothing.

2. Sometimes a hole opens up in the ceiling, so whoever sees it first just scoots a trash can under it to catch the rain until the trustees get around to funding our repairs. We once had a trash can overflowing with water in the hallway for two and a half weeks.

3. There was a gas leak last year, so we got all the students to stand in the hockey rink next door while the firefighters fixed it. Then we went back inside for class.

4. Nobody was allowed on the outside balcony until last year because it had no supports, was 25m by 2 m of solid cement, was breaking off, and hung right over the only entrances/exits of the downstairs classes.

5. The crack in the dungeon gets bigger every time there’s an earthquake,and our only emergency drill for if it gets too big is ‘run’.

6. The gymnasium flooded and repairs were cut off halfway through, so for a month or so we just had this gaping pit in the middle of the basketball court.

7. Everyone’s favourite gym game involves releasing 60-65 unsupervised children into the woods for about an hour and a half of a no-holds-barred game we like to call “Man Hunter”. The only rules are 1. No climbing trees, and 2. don’t go onto the freeway on the other side. Spoiler alert: Everybody climbs the trees. One legendary kid named Jared was known to swim across the lake in the middle. My friend personally dug a tunnel through a .5 acre 9-foot-high patch of thorn bushes. We carried her out bleeding once.

8. Our smallest class last year had 28 kids and 1 teacher.

9. All the pipes in the girl’s room broke once, and we weren’t allowed to fix it ourselves because every time we fix something the school board assumes we’re doing fine and cuts the art budget.

10. Our last art teacher blew the entirety of the year’s budget on Crayola crayons.

11. We used to have a pottery class, but the kiln we bought to replace the busted one was bigger than the doors, so it’s been in the parking lot for 3 years now.

12. One year, the district board of whateverthefuck decided that our homework support group was cutting into class time, so they canceled support group and added 5 minutes to the end of each day to meet quota.

13. Our student aid program involves handing out a cookie to each student that bothers to show up. Last year, the teacher that bought the cookies retired, so we don’t have cookies anymore.

14. Sometimes the principal goes on the announcements just to tell us that there’s a bear or a mountain lion outside, so we’re having an indoor lunch that day.

15. If you lose your bus pass at school, you can’t take the bus home. Instead, you have to get the paperwork from the front office to file a request for a temporary replacement, which costs $5 and takes 5-6 business days to be sent. The form requires a parent signature, which you can get from your parent when you get home. In 5-6 business days

16. Some dicknut keeps putting curry powder in all the cafeteria food. It doesn’t matter what it is. Chicken wrap? Chicken curry. Poutine? Curry gravy. I once had curry in my brownie

17. There was a weird smell in the science teacher’s room for about a week. They opened up the walls; turned out a bunch of rats had crawled into his office and died in the ceiling.

18. 2013 final exams involved a set of instructions including, “Bring your own gluestick; pencil crayons will not be be provided”.

19. My third day of class, there was an announcement warning that the biology wing’s iguana had gotten loose and that it had yet to be found. There was no follow-up. It’s been five years.

20. Kid behind me in grade 9 chemistry was suspended for setting his lab partner’s head on fire during a lab that didn’t involve anything being on fire at all.

21. After frog dissections, my lab group painted it’s nails pink and purple and made it a necklace out of its own intestines. She was beautiful. The teacher thought it was cute.

22. We made a fireball in the hallway for a video once.

23. Our physics teacher goes by ‘the incredible mr. G” and raps regularily into a mic during assemblies.

24. We had a principal in grade 6 who held mandatory full-school assemblies every Monday where the entire school would sit cross-legged on the floor and sing along to Beatles’ songs while she played the guitar.

25. Three kids got together and hooked a la-z-boy recliner up to a ride-on lawnmower and rode it down the hall ramp.

26. In middle school, 5 guys on mountain bikes busted in during classtime and started doing flips off the cafeteria tables.

27. During a fire drill, my english teacher bent down and whispered to me that if the world was ending and we were stranded at the school, she was going to band together the scariest students and start a pirate gange to pillage the town and survive the coming winter.

28. That same teacher once confided in me that 50 shades of grey wasn’t the best she’s read.

29. We once spent an entire geography class verbally shitting on the teacher of that class for trying to pass off ‘blurred lines’ as ‘a fun song about a nice guy trying to liberate a woman from her controlling husband”.

30. Once my biology teacher was drawing blood for science reasons (he had permission slips) and the whole administrative staff came in to “observe” the class. My biology teacher said to them, “I’m stabbing the children for science”. They left.

31. in 2005 the science department had it’s first and only attempt at having live mammals(white lab mice) as science classroom ‘pets’. one student released them all outside–in winter– and they took up house in the warm building walls. creating a terrible mouse problem.

32.  in 2006 my high school’s janitorial staff got permission to release a single cat into the walls to combat said mouse problem. it was an intact female cat. stray toms were drawn into the building, and the now-huge supply of mice made the building a great place for the neighborhood’s strays to hang out.

33. the female gave birth to a litter in the ceiling of one of the rooms in the math department. in the spring of 2009, the weight of the kittens was too much for the ceiling tiles and kittens fell 6 feet onto the desks of students sitting for a test. the students that grabbed the kittens first were given permission to keep them by the principal. because technically the cats were school property.

34. inspired, the senior prank that year was originally going to be that a bunch of seniors would adopt twenty or so kittens all over the county, and then let them all loose in the principal’s office. they all realized that adopting pets costs money, and decided to put grasshoppers in all the vending machines instead. the pepsi guys who refill the machines got mad that they kept touching dead grasshoppers and refused to come back until they were all cleaned out. they didn’t come back for six weeks.

34. Upon realizing the walls were literally rotten, the school decided the only solution was to move about 3 classrooms and continue business as usual. 35. Every year in elementary school, each class had a brightly colored electronic pig. We would dress each pig up for a pig costume contest. Class winner got an icecream party 36. We would then undress said pigs and race them across the gym. Class winner got a pizza party. 37. Teachers often got accused of cheating in said contest. 38. In middle school, are teachers once had us write the worst words we could think of (including curse words) on a piece of paper and turn it in. We were told not to tell anyone. We never received a grade for said assignment.

Tumblr 2015 in a nutshell (so far)

Me, on a date: “So, what are your thoughts on the dress?”

My date: “Actually, I came here to audition for the role of Pluto and I will be singin-”

Me, immediately shoving breadsticks into purse: “I’m sorry I have to go home immediately…”

My date: Okay… That sounds fake but okay.

Me, gorging breadsticks into my mouth as I head out of the door: “Ugh these breadsticks are a beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure…”

By Fallout Boy

Throw a list of the Zodiac signs as breadsticks in there and it will be 100% complete.

Me: This year I lost my best friend

Them: Quit telling people I’m- JOHN CENA

gun

This post will only appear once in 20000 posts. It is a very rare post. If you reblog in the next 20 seconds good fortune will come your way

I’m always a slut for these memes.

Me: *scrolling down dash* My Brain: Reblog this post Me: Why? My Brain: You gotta

Psychic: *Reads my mind*

my mind: HELLO FROM TH-

Psychic: OUTSIDE

*Hotline Bling plays in the distance* 

Oh yeah I love social media, Instagram, Twitter, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* Trimblerer

Memes is the same

this post is even rarer than pepe

On Tumblr, it’s KILL OR BE KILLED.

I’m deleting

THEY DONE STOLE THE MEMES

This meme compilation is 

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

When you delete things off of a mobile device (like a phone or digital camera), the file goes to your phone’s recycle bin (just like on a desktop computer or laptop), typically an invisible folder named .trashes or .trash. There, it continues to take up the same amount of memory storage as it did before you ‘deleted’ it. To empty your mobile device’s recycling bin, plug your phone into your desktop or laptop via USB as a memory device, right click on your desktop/laptop’s recycling bin/trash, and tell it to empty your recycling bin/empty trash. Your computer will empty all .trash/.trashes folders, including the one on your phone, actually deleting the files permanently this time, freeing up your phone/camera’s memory space. Reblog to save a life.

(I know this works on MAC with my Andriod, it’s not too far a stretch to do the same on Windows and/or with other phones as well. In fact, it should be easier to do on Windows since Windows Explorer is more conducive to finding hidden folders.)

FINDING THIS RANDOM POST ON MY DASHBOARD GAVE ME THE BEST ANSWER TO SHIT I’VE BEEN GOOGLING ABOUT FOR MONTHS!!!

HOLY

i still can’t believe renaissance fairs are real

it’s like anime expo for fans of the black plague

That would be a dark ages fair you uncultured swine

If God is the creator of all things, would he be able to legally sue anyone on earth for copyright infringement?

No, because spectral evidence is no longer allowed in courtrooms in America due to the Salem Witch trials