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Jazz: (to the ghosts) Everyone stop trying to kill my little brother! You're adults! Stop it!
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mollymimieux
Imagine that one day the whole world would look like this.
platypus-in-a-bottle
fucking nature can’t learn to stop
Source: boredpanda.com
Stuff you can think about while continuing to ignore JK’s racist and pathetically misguided attempts at approximating American wizard history:
- magic schools in old, one room schoolhouses enchanted to have a dozen rooms for a hundred students at a time
- magic schools under the Appalachians disguised as old, abandoned coal mines
- magic schools disguised as abandoned railroad towns (there are a LOT more of those than you think. Seriously, look up West Virginia ghost towns sometime)
- magic schools under the Kansas hills, built like sod houses to resemble the old faerie mounds
- historically black magic schools
- each Native American nation having its own school of magic, making sure their own traditions won’t die out and be forcibly replaced with European ones
- Chesapeake Bay Academy, the magic school for the DMV (DC, Maryland, and northern Virginia) being sister schools with Mahoutokoro
- magical schools mascots like hidebehinds, cactus cats, and teakettlers (because lumberjack folklore is weird and adorbs and makes perfect magical creatures)
thatcuriouskat
- and the weirdest news stories in the American wizarding world still come from Florida because some things are universal
ectonip reblogged
Vlad: You can’t attack me with puns!
Danny: Puns, and bullets, and pointy things! Yes I can!
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Tucker: My mom thinks I'm staying at Norman's house.
Danny: Who's Norman?
Tucker: Norman is my imaginary, straight-A, mama's boy, Eagle Scout friend.
Danny: He sounds boring for an imaginary friend.
Tucker: Mom seems to like him.
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Danielle: Dad. He must have done this. Another of his stupid tests.
Danny: What kind of test?
Danielle: He probably wants me to kill you.
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Dan: We’re friends, right Danny?
Danny: You literally tried to murder my entire family.
Dan: I said I was sorry!
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Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth? Honor? Patriotism? God bless America!
Vlad (when he was running for mayor)
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If no one comes from the future to stop me from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be?
Danny (after The Ultimate Enemy)
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I’m not perfect but who are we kidding, neither are you.
Danny (to Dash)
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Valerie: Hey guys check out this new dress this guy named Vlad Masters bought me
Valerie: SIKE. ITS A JUMPSUIT. YOU WERE FOOLED HAHAHAHA
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Valerie: I could crush him like an ant, but it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until... oh, what the hell, I'll just crush him like an ant.
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Tucker: I have an idea.
Sam: Is it a good one?
Tucker: Not really.
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Sam: Maybe I was wrong.
Tucker: Somebody get a video camera!
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Danny: (in a crowd and can't find Valerie) This calls for desperate measures.
Danny: PHANTOM SUCKS!
Valerie: HECK YEAH HE DOES!
Danny: There she is.
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Dora: Ladies do not start fights. But we can finish them.