Lesbian Flower 🌺

The problem with naive self-identification as the go-to for telling who's trans and who isn't is that eggs exist.

People who have repressed their trans identity so hard that they will insist that they're cis even in the face of overwhelming signs to the contrary ("I'm not really trans just because I cry myself to sleep wishing I'd been born different") are a real group that is actively subject to marginalization for being trans.

Trans liberation politics can't be formulated in a way that leaves these people out just to respect their incorrect self-identification.

There just isn't an equivalence between doubting the stated identity of someone who says they're trans and someone who says they're cis.

In the first case, you're enforcing cisnormativity. In the second case, you're either making an incorrect guess with no real consequences, or you're providing a trans person a shot at killing the cop that society put in their head.

you HAVE to expand what your mental image of what a woman looks like in order to progress past trans/misogyny and intersexism. when you finally accept that "woman" does not have a set look or sound, you free yourself from the chains of both patriarchy and radfem ideals. "woman" does not mean thin, pretty, hairless, short, quiet, large breasted, hour glass figured, weak, submissive, high voiced, or small.

women can and do look, act, and sound like anything. cis, intersex, trans, butch, non binary, gender non conforming, detrans, or anything else: any woman can look, act and sound like anything. we are just as diverse as any other member of this population. in order to acknowledge this, we must let go of the concept that a woman "should" look, act, or sound like anything.

you have to love trans women more than you hate transmisogynists. and i mean real trans women, not this abstract symbol you've created just to defend. the real flesh and blood human beings who are messy and complex and imperfect. you have to love them even when they fall outside of your preconceived idea of what a "good" trans woman must be, when they're doing femininity "wrong" or "not enough", when they understand themselves in terms you find unintuitive, when they're rubbing against your understanding of what a woman should and can be. you have to support the trans women in your life and you have to be kind to the ones you meet and you have to respect the ones on the internet. otherwise you're not helping, you're just using them to play hero.

If a trans girl tells you that she wants to start dressing more femme and your response is "but you're conforming to gender stereotypes" then she is entitled to punch you in the face as hard as she wants

Also, if a trans girl says she wants to go on hormones and your response is "but you're still valid if you don't get hrt" then she is also entitled to punch your face as hard as she wants

reblog this version you fucking cowards

My new rule is that if you tell a trans woman she doesn't pass then I should be allowed to kill you

Change your idea of what women look like and try again

Idk which one of you fuckers started this shit but you need to get it through your heads.

You MUST respect people’s pronouns. (👍)

INCLUDING IF THEY ARE CIS. (🔥😨🔪💥)

When I still identified as a girl, I would try to make friends within queer circles and a Significant™️ number of people (in different friend groups!) would ask my pronouns, I’d say “she/her, sorry I’m boring lol”, and then they would REFUSE to call me by my preferred pronouns. It was ALWAYS they/them—which is a good default! Should be the default!! I am glad it’s becoming the default!!! The problem was that i informed them repeatedly that those were NOT the pronouns they should use for me anymore, and was repeatedly denied my gender identity.

“Sorry you just don’t look cis”

“Whoops I thought you were joking”

“Oh yea well I’m not used to those pronouns”

“Oh well I use they/them for everyone it’s not a personal thing”

You’re transphobic.

Any argument you use for not using cis people’s pronouns is a transphobic argument. You are refusing to use people’s preferred pronouns. You are transphobic.

Stop this shit immediately. I’m not gonna say it again (unless I need to :))))) {seriously quit I’m so sick of hearing us do this}

hey, you! have you ever taken over-the-counter melatonin for insomnia? congratulations! you've had hormone replacement therapy! now leave trans people alone

btw please remember it’s “trans women” (with a space) not “transwomen”. you (hopefully) wouldn’t say “fatwoman” or “blackwoman” because it would be othering and disrespectful. extend the same grace to your trans sisters.

i just don’t think “is dude gender neutral” is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. i call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but i don’t think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.

the real question is just “would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?” the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic

Okay rant time.

Pregnant men exist. Not just as an uwu mpreg fanfic trope or a joke. Just because you think pregnancy is gross or icky doesn’t mean you can’t treat pregnant people with respect, regardless of gender or sex. Even in the queer community, trans men who choose to carry their children are seen as an anomaly or as betraying everything they’ve worked for. They aren’t. If I carry a child, I’m still just as much of a man.

Also, I understand if the idea of pregnancy is dysphoric for many trans men. I do. But trans men being pregnant isn’t an excuse to exclude them from queer spaces or treat them with anything less than the same respect you would anyone else. Many trans men experience dysphoria regarding the idea of pregnancy, but many don’t. Their body isn’t your business. Don’t be fucking weird.

Even many pregnant trans mascs experience dysphoria around pregnancy! And they chose to either become or continue to be pregnant because it was important to them!

At least half the reason for that dysphoria and why it's so hard to be a pregnant trans masc is specifically how they're treated by others. There's obviously internal aspects that can be triggering like having to pause hrt or experiencing breast growth but so so much of it comes from how people treat them; whether thats medical professionals misgendering them or support groups being entirely focused on cis women or their own communities calling their bodies triggering or questioning their masculinity, even calling them detrans or saying they hurt trans masc causes.

We need to stop being weird about pregnant trans mascs! And tbh a lot of yall could stand to be less weird about pregnant women too.

Is he "female socialized" or is he just a standard flamboyant sensitive artsy gay dude who would honestly be indiscernible from any other fem gay guy if you didn't see him as a walking vagina first and foremost.

Is she "male socialized" or is she just a tomboy with a fucking spine who doesn't let anyone talk to her any old kind of way who would honestly be indiscernible from any feminist cis woman y'all gas up on here if you didn't see her as a walking penis first and foremost.

*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person's pronouns. Sometimes that person's pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn't use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn't use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.

Nothing quite like enduring yet another a pronoun circle in a room full of cis she/hers knowing full well that I need to brace for the inevitable barrage of they/them that's coming my way.

"boypussy positivity this, girdick appreciation that" that's great, yeah. but are you supportive of trans people who have gotten/want to get bottom surgery? are you respectful of trans people with severe genital dysphoria who would greatly prefer it if you simply didn't mention their genitals? answer carefully.

Sometimes I think about my old manager at work who, in order to prove that the organisation was safe for trans people, told me about a fellow trans employee—a woman who was passing! who wasn’t out to me or to anyone else!—and about how chill everyone in management had been about her needing to take time off TO GET VAGINOPLASTY. He was not her manager! He was not her friend! He did not work in HR! There was no way he could have come into this PRIVATE MEDICAL INFORMATION without being told by another manager who had gossiped. And even if there had been, why the fuck was it any of my business!

Likewise, a friend of mine was just told by a school principal about how a prospective school was safe for trans kids… because a trans girl whose parents don’t affirm her at home is able to be affirmed at school. This information about this child’s gender and home environment was relayed along with her FUCKING GRADE LEVEL. This incredibly vulnerable kid was wheeled out as a selling point by the school with way more than enough information to figure out who she was.

In order to make the argument that a place is safe for trans people, cis people are wayyyy too happy to give out private information about trans people. With allies like these, who needs enemies!!!

If you are the recipient of this kind of "and here is another trans person" information leak (ESPECIALLY when it outs a trans woman!!) it's imperative that you come down on it like the divine fist of God. We should shame these little weasels like trans lives depend on it (because they might). Might I suggest:

Her name is Valentina Petrillo and she is a visually-impaired sprinter.

Time to support her, because even without the racism element I expect she will be getting some flak from Awful, Awful People.

This is the shit I was talking about when I said that EVERY SINGLE ONE of you who have been posting variations on "yasss girl, go Imane, get her ass" and "She's not a man, also biology is hella complicated and not black & white", had better SHOW THE FUCK UP for Valentina, with the exact same energy and strength.

Valentina is different than Serena Williams, and Caster Semenya, and Imane Khelif.

All four of these people I mentioned are women.

But for Valentina, you can't pull out the argument I heard a lot for the others, especially Caster and Imane. "She's not even trans anyway, they're just using a sexist and racist standard of what womanhood is 'supposed' to look like- see? Transphobia also hurts cis women!"

Because Valentina IS TRANS.

Yes, transphobia absolutely can and does end up hurting cis women. But let's not forget that it always hurts the intended targets more. And the intended targets are trans people.

Valentina IS trans, and y'all better support and affirm her womanhood with your whole chests, and the same ferocity you did for a cis woman.

Screw terfs n all but are you normal about transgirls who don't want to medically transition? Are you normal about transguys with boobs who don't wear binders? Are you normal about the trans people who only want to socially transition because that's what's right for them? Are you normal about the transgirls with beards? Are you normal about the transguys who love their curves? Screw terfs, but are you normal about trans people?

Screw terfs, but do you prioritize the love and safety and comfort of trans people over spiting a terf?

Pro tip for interacting with traumatized trans girls; if they tell you something about their past, there's decent odds that the 'correct' response is something along the lines of "Hey. It's fucked up that that happened to you. You didn't deserve that. You are allowed to feel fucked up about that because they shouldn't have treated you that way."