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wait a minute... you wrote omelette?

@e1derprice / e1derprice.tumblr.com

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unpretty

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…

home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that

homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…

home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent

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Heard all about these rockin’ chicks, loved every song and each remix. So I went out and found them and we laid down an album! 

Now I don’t need your love, all I need is Six.

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tortoistor

movie tropes that will never get old to me:

  • a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back
  • fourth wall breaking
  • “give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets
  • *a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen
  • alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice
  • “fuck you” “well if you insist”

character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X

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susiephone
  • the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
  • people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
  • alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
  • bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
  • someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
  • choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
  • the “hands go down” trope
  • example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*

how could all y'all forget “ACT NATURAL!”

These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon

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stunt-muppet

i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression

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roachpatrol
  • a high-stakes zany action scene forced to come to a complete halt while some characters take a very, very long elevator ride
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fun fact about the next avengers film being filmed in edinburgh: they’ve blocked off certain areas which is disrupting one specific postal van’s delivery route which is in turn leading to an awkward stand-off at the police station because Marvel Studios might be a billion dollar company but this man really wants to do his job and apparently interfering with the course of the Royal Mail technically counts as treason so they’re at a stalemate

this is the best thing i’ve heard all day

Scotland, everybody.

Who would win in a fight: a billion dollar superhero film franchise at the top of its game or one (1) Scottish mailman.

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mindfulwrath

now THAT’S a movie that would be worth watching….

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shxne

as a society, we need to stop pretending like the Victorious soundtrack doesn’t have some of the best pop songs of this century.

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The Princess Diaries is Pretty Woman for little girls

Girl is swept into higher society

Girl gets makeover from Larry Miller

Girl has Hector Elizondo as a bff

Girl also learns new manners (also Hector Elizondo)

And has awkward dinner

Quirky best friend

Mean Girls

Douche bag guy

Love

Also, Garry Marshall directed both films

WHAT

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yolandaash
“Why didn’t Eleanor write more than “Eleanor, find Chidi,” on the paper? This was probably the most debated moment of the whole season, I would say. We thought about it. We probably talked about it for a total of about 10 hours, and in chunks — when we first wrote it, we were coming up with it, and when we shot it. We actually shot a couple other versions of things that she wrote that were very similar, but slightly different versions. We also talked about it a million times when we were in editing, because we had the ability, with visual effects, to change it to whatever we wanted. In these days, the writing process never ends; you can just keep writing things forever. Here’s the theory, I will lay out the whole theory for you: There were a couple circumstantial things, and then there’s the actual specifics of the message itself. The circumstantial things are that she has almost no time, right? Michael, at any moment, is going to walk in here, and if he even sees her holding a pen, she’s doomed. It won’t work. So she has to do it very, very quickly under tremendous pressure where the stakes of that moment are literally, “Are you going to be tortured for infinity or not?” She has basically no information of what her life is going to be once she’s rebooted, except for the fact that Michael has said that he is going to split them up and keep them apart from each other. She might be in a completely different environment, she might be on a different planet, she might be anywhere, with anyone, under any circumstances. The only thing that makes sense is to try to get her back to the position that she is in here, and the best way to do that would be to say, “I need to find one of these four people.” We thought about her saying, “There are four of you,” or trying to write their names quickly, but the truth is that if she found Tahani first, and she said, “I’m not supposed to be here,” there’s every possibility in the world that Tahani would just turn her in, because Tahani is not what Chidi is, which is a person of extreme ethical and moral exactitude. And Jason is a disaster, so if she found Jason first, the two of them would just mingle around together being disasters, and probably eventually get caught. She also couldn’t write anything that might lead her to go to Michael, because if she wrote something vague, like, “You’re really in hell,” and she showed it to Michael, like, “What does this mean? I’m scared,” anything that would lead her to go to him that doesn’t specifically say, “Avoid that guy,” might end in her being found again. We had the line earlier in the episode where she says, “I was dropped into a cave and you were my flashlight.” So it was like, “Oh right, that’s in her head,” so the first breadcrumb on the path that leads her back to figuring it all out is Chidi. If she can find Chidi, she can confess who she is to him, he will keep her secret because he did the first time. He also is the only person of the four of them who can actually help her get better, and learn about how to be a good person. And by saying “Find Chidi” specifically, the implication is don’t trust anyone but Chidi, so wherever you are, basically it’s a warning to her, from her, that says, “Don’t talk to anyone, don’t do anything until you find this guy.””

Michael Schur, Entertainment Weekly interview, March 7, 2017 (via phospheneswhenyoureyes)

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Honestly it didn’t make me truly laugh until Darth Vader came tootling tooting out and then I lost it.

WHAT IS THIS OH MY GOD

I’m just gonna add this:

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if your favorite musical is: wicked, once, phantom of the opera, the book of mormon, cats, gypsy, a chorus line, into the woods, little shop of horrors, the king and i, shrek, matilda, my favorite year, the producers, crazy for you, pacific overtures, bonnie and clyde, bye bye birdie, 1776, beauty and the beast, newsies, les miserables, assassins, dreamgirls, rock of ages, hairspray, side show, ragtime, sweeney todd, show boat, the color purple, urinetown, company, carmen jones, the threepenny opera, american idiot, caroline or change, tommy, grey gardens, the drowsy chaperone, applause, jersey boys, kiss of the spider-woman, mamma mia, spamalot, beautiful: the carole king musical, the fantasticks, chess, rent, titanic, the wedding singer, merrily we roll along, kiss me kate, next to normal, pippin, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, camelot, a gentleman’s guide to love and murder, passing strange, aida, sunset boulevard, lady in the dark, xanadu, 110 in the shade, the producers, annie, falsettos, cabaret, if/then, brigadoon, pal joey, hedwig and the angry inch, parade, hello dolly, curtains, my fair lady, fun home, blood brothers, evita, how to succeed in business without really trying, damn yankees, billy elliott, an american in paris, the sound of music, the visit, floyd collins, the man of la mancha, gigi, jesus christ superstar, miss saigon, bloody bloody andrew jackson, fosse, dirty rotten scoundrels, singin in the rain, the best little whorehouse in texas, passion, once upon a mattress, 42nd street, south pacific, west side story, oklahoma, mame, grand hotel, the scottsboro boys, it shoulda been you, sweet charity, legally blonde, sunday in the park with george, sister act, finding neverland, joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat, big river, kinky boots, the lion king, porgy and bess, the full monty, wonderful town, hamilton, dames at sea, aladdin, funny girl, peter pan, nine, memphis, love never dies, contact, the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee, the cradle will rock, chicago, the light in the piazza, follies, on the town, la cage aux folles, the wild party, fiddler on the roof, in the heights, candide, the civil war, the last five years, a little night music, catch me if you can, anything goes, carousel, something rotten, she loves me, guys and dolls, on the twentieth century, oliver, the music man, grease, spring awakening, or avenue q you have a bad taste in theatre

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dmsr1234

SpongeBob The Musical Wins Again

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