rant
there is so much to detest
and sometimes even the little things
lose their shine
we live in a terrorist regime
unless there is some sort of call out or break in day to day reality (disrupture) and people not only stop acting from a place of apathy, but from a place of conformity to this fucking political process, we're gonna fucking die under a magnifying glass.
we need to break the police narrative.
we need to break the reform narrative.
we need to break the 'work real hard for your boss' narrative.
the narrative of assimilation.
of moving up in the ranks, competing, earning power
oh yeah, we need to break the power narrative
the social war narrative that fucks up our lives everyday
i mean some people are just resigned to oppression because they believe it is the responsibility of an outside force (whether religious or political) to save them. they either view death as a revolution (transformative rapture) or wait for some 'end of times' sort of 'right' mixture of sparks and masse to.. what.
our struggle is already nearly insurmountable with difficulty on an individual and interpersonal level- society causes anxiety, marginalization, alienation and silencing preventing most from recognizing their own oppression. we are busy deconstructing our own fucked up internalized shit meanwhile the world is still being run by dictators and patriarchs, secret societies, armies and a dominant moral cisheterosexist social code.
i don't want individual liberation; i need collective revolt. through our revolt we will build spaces to fucking exist in and breath for five goddamn seconds but we can also build capacity to project back outwards into the meaningless void that captures our bodies and minds- the social war.
it's like people need to wait for the point of no return or some big flashing neon sign or billboard so we can realize we need to act in solidarity with one another. we need to act. it's like people have already decided that OUR struggle together against doom is so futile they can't possibly imagine acting against it, so they just justify their inactivity or passivity because of 'measured risk' or this predetermined narrative (whether biblical or fucking theoretical).
because if this is fascism, then OUR struggle (as opposed to the audacity of our individual struggles in society) against society and the mechanics, structure and function of this capitalist and authoritarian regime is INEXHAUSTIBLE. we cannot possibly do enough to destroy enough to breathe enough angst into the void that is this fucked up clusterfuck of powermongering shitfuckery. and we shouldn't have to water our shit down or apologize for calling out oppression or have to paste our anger into cookie cutter soundbites that sound good for the status quo.
there are not going to be LESS police. there are not going to be LESS pressures/stresses. what the fuck are people fucking thinking voting for some privileged master at the top of the symbolic representation system. that urges assimilation and 'equality' like we're not HERE and QUEER and fucking over this system that compels us with expectations and false idols.
it's gotta be subliminal messaging or some shit because i'm like HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS WHAT THE FUCK. people are not taught to think, to talk, to share, to listen, to FUCKING LISTEN, to fucking think that we could fucking have our own ideasl that we could put them into practice without them being commodified/ without creating consumers, without oppressing people!
meanwhile in classrooms all over amerika today people said the pledge of allegiance, they talked shit on republicans and democrats by fucking label, they ate their fucking cheerios while reading the new york times thinking they are well read engaged 'citizens', they violated people, they justified their urges for power, they thought about moving up at work, they thought about how to get laid, they thought about being more popular than their friends, they thought about making enough money to buy some technological apparatus, they thought about food but not growing it, they thought about consuming and consuming and consuming but not CREATING or compassion.
we have no energy consciousness. we are not taught consent. we do not learn various and varying interpersonal communication skills. we are not taught to explore our sexuality, our ideas, our identities, to make ourselves fluid and not binaried or fucking isolated and uniform. we are taught to be miserable and to work for the benefit of a few. every aspect of our lives tries to bully us into conforming.
the only way i feel i can exist and have it be 'worth it' at all at this point of realizing how fucking produced i have been by this chaotic unjust factory of a so called 'civilized' thoroughly colonized society is by thoroughly challenging or betraying every value that has been inculturated into me. this will be my revolt. there is no 'creating the new' we are only possibly capable of unlearning the old and in that process we practice things that are new to us- ideas and energies and methods that can attempt to not replicate oppression. all we have is the attempt.
it's an attempt! god will not grant us any serenity for our attempt. 'god' the figurative, a theoryhead, a complex symbology of humyn identity and meaning. we will die, but do you see? this society will not die with us! if you live up this world for all its excess as you consume it will consume you. there is much to betray, comrade. let us do what we cannot not do, what we must. let us forget what we 'can' do, or what is possible. and let us only, always and continuously attempt.
