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#disabled life – @dyspunktional-leviathan on Tumblr
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Hate Wins and Love Loses

@dyspunktional-leviathan / dyspunktional-leviathan.tumblr.com

✨ Quit assuming others' lack of disability ✨ Just started the project @fundraising-with-audiobooks ◆ it/its, gender-neutral language (+ no -x- words) ◆ Everyone's least favorite disability discourser ◆ Anarchist as in against any and all hierarchy, not just anti-state ◆ Transhumanist, youthlib, animal lib, anti-civ (*not* anprim; anti-primitivism) ◆ Antizionist Jew ◆ Against all exclusionism ◆ Anti-relativist ◆ Real life pathetic blorbo ◆ Crippled immortal mage-robot-cosmos with severe executive dysfunction ◆ Angry nonbinary ◆ Heartless lovequeer aro ◆ Asks are very welcome, but I might answer *very* slowly (though occasionally, I do answer fast) ◆ Art blog — @whatruwaitingfor-draw-spades, fandom blog — @skies-full-of-song (reblogs mostly go to main), ao3 — disabled_hamlet ◆ Icon art by Virgil Finlay ✧ Freedom of one ends where freedom of another begins; and not a hair's breadth before that ✧
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"Disability is not evil" my disability is. I am being tortured and imprisoned. The cure narrative is an attempt to drop a bomb on my prison and bury me with it, not to free me. The social model is an insistence that if only I were treated better by the guards and if the society did not think of the prisoner status as lower I would not mind being tortured and imprisoned.

If you do not mind your disability — congratulations, genuinely. Now stop shutting those of us who do up.

(this is not specifically about the line the post started with, it’s about many other things including individuals saying that disabled suffering is only ever an ableist stereotype)

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A less venty and metaphorical post on this where I also talk more about the inherent ableism of the cure narrative towards those who would actually like to be cured too: https://tumblr.com/dyspunktional-leviathan/715674903692673024/

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I am so disabled that I don't know when I'm sick anymore, and when it's just the usual. Sometimes it is very clear, but other times I have to invent new ways to tell. I have nearly missed a fever of 39.2 C because I just feel so horrible all the time. I have to ask my family members if they are also sick, I have to ask my med student family member how can various things affect such a weakened body and what something can be other than what seems obvious (it does turn out to be that). And more things like that.

And when I am sick I now have to always dread it'll become another major disabling event, no matter what it is.

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Today's mobility aid update: apparently, I am now a Full Time Wizard Staff User.

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Tl;dr: I'm a cane user who needs more support and has shoulder problems, I am beginning a cosplay of a dnd wizard, and turns out that apparently a staff is better for me than a cane.

(still planning to try forearm crutches and would like a powerchair eventually but well, I'll compare all those too. And for now, I have my staff.)

& also, the wizard I'm cosplaying, Raistlin Majere from Dragonlance, is canonically very disabled and uses his staff as a mobility aid.

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Backstory: https://www.tumblr.com/dyspunktional-revan/717836384898023424, also some follow-up https://www.tumblr.com/dyspunktional-revan/719407235725492224 (I did try two canes and it was *horrible* on my shoulders).

And now I've been planning a cosplay of Raistlin Majere (who, by the way, canonically uses his staff as a mobility aid!! A young mobility aid user (25 in the first book (Dragonlance series), had to use a mobility aid since 21)! A disabled magic-user who is disabled not because he is magic-user (has been disabled all his life, an event that disabled him much more at 21 was related to magic but the disabilities themselves were not magical — his body was just severely weakened and broke down more; and *couldn't be healed* for magical reasons but not from magical afflictions)! And more and more and more I love Raistlin so much).

There had been several things at home that could go for the staff's pole but they all needed work and weren't very handy to walk with. But now I got a new one — a drape runner that wasn't holding in the wall and had to be taken off; and — this particular one was already an appropriate length. And empty inside, and thin and firm enough at the same time thanks to being metal (wrapped in some kind of plastic). I still had to give it some tip to stand on, and it wasn't even cut straight. It's 25mm and the standard cane tip is made for 20mm.

And then my mother had a genius idea. She took an old cane tip, and *shoved it in*. And it holds perfectly.

Now to the mobility aid part!

So, now I have a proto-staff I can actually walk with, and at first I felt like my cane was mostly better. But then I wanted to stand up and my legs hurt really bad, I took my cane at first but then I decided to take the staff instead — it can offer more support, especially if I hold it with both hands.

After a while, I put it down and took my cane — and realized that the staff was actually better. My shoulder instantly felt much worse. Idk about the rest because I just put down the cane and took up the staff again, and had been using it for the rest of the day.

I'll probably still need to use a more conventional mobility aid outside (when not in costume)... For one thing, I don't think anyone's going to offer a bus seat to a guy with a wizard staff rather than a cane or a crutch (eh. Also that applies to when in costume too, thought about that long before I'd thought of actually using the staff as a mobility aid outside of cosplay).

Although perhaps btw I could, like, try to ask, hey I have leg problems, I actually use a cane when not cosplaying, could you please,, Idk.

As I said in tl;dr, I'm still planning to try other mobility aids, planning to buy at least one forearm crutch as soon as I can go out (currently ill). I'll compare that and the staff too, might alternate like folx do alternate their conventional mobility aids? And eventually I would like a powerchair, don't know if it can ever become possible for me.

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