Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + text posts and tweet

Edward Elric walking into Team Mustang's office like:

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + text posts and stuff

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + text posts

I think it would be hilarious if when Ed and Al joined team Mustang they just assumed Roy and Riza were married and like one day much to their confusion and sadness they find out they're not and the rest of Team Mustang has to be like we don't really get it either

Alphonse: Hey, what's Leiutenant Hawkeye's last name

Falman: What do you mean? It's Hawkeye. Riza Hawkeye.

Alphonse: What

Falman: H-A-W-K-E-Y-E, R-I-Z-A

Edward: Wait, I thought that was her nickname since she's the top sniper, "The Hawk's eye"

Fuery: Yeah, but her last name is also coincidently "Hawkeye."

Havoc: Honestly, that's probably where the name came from. The officials at the military academy aren't that creative.

Rebecca, with dramatic flare: Or maybe it was her destiny

Alphonse: So, is that why she kept her last name?

Havoc: What do you mean?

Edward: Why she didn't take the colonel bastard's last name?

Alphonse: Yeah, it could be confusing to have a Lieutenant Mustang and Colonel Mustang

Edward: Why do you think I call him Colonel Bastard, it's not just accurate but strategic

Rebecca: Oh . . . honey . . no

Edward: What?

Alphonse: What's wrong?

Edward: Why does everyone look sad all of a sudden?

Rebecca: *sniffles*

Havoc: *puts a comforting hand on Rebecca's shoulder*

Fuery: The Lieutenant and the colonel . . . well . . . They aren't actually married

Rebecca: *starts crying on Havoc's shoulder*

Alphonse: B-but they're together, aren't they?

Rebecca: *cries even louder*

Havoc: *rubs her back comfortingly*

Breda: No, they're not - I mean, well

Alphonse: Why aren't they together?!

Rebecca, sobbing: WWWWHHHYYYY?!

Hakuro: What the hell is going on in here?!

Rebecca: *furiously screams something inaudible at Hakuro*

Hakuro: *exits scaredly*

Later in Resembool they break the sad and shocking news to Winry who actually takes it a lot harder than they do because she ships them soooooo much

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + text posts and stufff

Happy 9th day of Christmas! Here is some "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood + text posts and stuff"

Riza Hawkeye: Colonel, you're not gonna like this, but right now, Edward here is being the mature one.

Edward Elric : It's true. I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat!