Alcina’s senses, far sweeter and more intoxicating than any wine.

She drank slowly, savoring each drop, each quiver of her captive’s body, indulging fully in her darkest craving.

Part 2/2

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

Yeah okay ill reblog that

Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

The Blind Cave Hippocampus

Image Description: A drawing of a hippocampus that looks like a fetal horse on the front and a cave salamander on the back. The image is surrounded by notes on the creature. The notes read:

The dark spots are vestigial eyes that can sense changes in light.

The textured feet help it grip wet rocks.

Blood vessels, bones and organs are visible through the hippocampus’ thin hide. A layer of mucus offers some protection to its sensitive skin, but they are rarely out of the water for long and cannot tolerate direct sunlight.

They have no teeth

It breathes clouds of heavier than air gasses that it uses to kill its prey. This is an instinctive reaction they cannot be trained out of. Anyone attempting to handle them must use safety gear.

Once its prey is dead it drags the carcass into the water and wedges it under a rock until it has decayed enough to be mostly liquid. Then the cave hippocampus slurps up its meal.

A Blind Cave Hippocampus can go several years between meals, much longer than other species of hippocampus.

An explorer approaches a pool containing a cave hippocampus. Protected by a respirator and bottled air, the human has little to fear from the creature. The Blind Cave Hippocampus will rarely physically attack a conscious target out of fear of injury.

Another monster from the Pool Kelpie discussion. Remember the best way to avoid dying in a cave is to stay out of caves.

FUCK YEAH

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

super mario sunshine

just mispelled mental illness the worst anyones ever done it .

yesss precious we can reclaim, we have a menwtol smeeness

i love getting those spam emails/texts that are like "You have a package ready for delivery!" as if i don't have a completely intimate and borderline unhealthy awareness of every single thing i've ever ordered and exactly when it's gonna come in

Abortion pills by mail in every state.

please share this even if you don’t need them, because it could find its way to people who do!

I’d also like to say that what abortion is, is health care and basic human rights for those who want it for reasons that aren’t nobody’s business but their own

what abortion isn’t, is a man’s business. so you may keep your opinions away from my body. thank you

it's me and my two sources on medieval strap-ons against the world

Right, so.

Source One is Burchard of Worms' Decretum, Book XIX. The Decretum was a collection of canon laws compiled in the early half of the 11th Century. Book XIX, or The Corrector, was a penitential: basically a guidebook for confessors. Here's a sin, have u done it, here's your penance.

One of the questions for women was, essentially, "Did you make a dildo, strap it to yourself and fuck someone with it?". The original text is in Latin, and there's a few translations floating around of what it said. Here's one, which I spent the past three days looking for, because I wanted a direct source:

Pretty cut and dry re: the use of strap-ons. And dildos, because the next question is "and did you use this device on yourself?"

The second source is from the trial of Katherina Hetzeldorfer, specifically Female Sodomy: The Trial of Katherina Hetzeldorfer (1477) by Helmut Puff, which has an analysis of the trial as well as a translation of the trial texts.

Katherina is the first recorded woman to be executed for homosexuality. There's a lot to be said about her and the way she performed gender but what I'm interested in today is the strap. So, from the court text itself:

And there we go! Two sources about people in medieval times using strap-ons, one from around 1020 and one from 1477.

So blessed to find this information

Tonight, the wine was merely a prelude to the true taste she desired.

Part 1/2

Call now to recieve help with the inability to make phone calls!

Fill out this forum to receive assistance with your difficulty filling out forms

Come on down to our center thats two hours away so we can give assistance with your inability to walk or drive

There's help out there! You're just not trying hard enough!

the mutuals would love that

I don't care what your perception of the female body has been warped into by the media and advertising prevalent in culture. eat some goddamn carbs

The amount of people I know IRL and online who skop meals and then feel exhausted and try perk up with nicotine and and an energy drink before ending up so anxious they make themselves sick pisses me off. You need OATS!!!!!!!!

I went to a boarding school in Denmark (efterskole) for two years in the mid 00s, whose entire thing was “healthy eating and exercise leads to a healthy mind leads to the ability to learn and become an enlightened and informed participant of society”. the one thing they kept repeating over and over is “don’t drink your calories it will make you anxious and hungry and if it’s in the form of Coca Cola the caffeine will only exacerbate this”

We would regularly have guest speakers on a variety of topics - an anorexia patient, a person who’d studied abroad in the USA, a person who freestyled their further education (this was about to be abolished so not an option for us, but still an inspiring talk), a person who’d refused their military service and was instead doing community service (and why), and so on and so forth.

At one point we had a guest speaker come talk about it his work with juvenile delinquents.

He was the overseer of a house where these kids (our age! Some younger!) lived - not a prison - and where they would receive schooling to complete their mandatory primary education in a setting where social workers were on hand to assist and basically the whole point was to nurture the kids in an attempt to prevent them from choosing a life of crime and/or become dependent on the welfare system due to inability to work. They had support, teachers, people who believed in them, etc.

And yet these kids were failing. They were unruly, anxious, restless, spent their breaks smoking or going to the corner shop for soft drinks or snacks and were too wired to settle down at night to sleep so would often wind up sneaking out and causing trouble - even if the trouble was only some half asses graffiti on a bus stop .and in the morning they would be too exhausted to get up and would take half a day - until lunch, when they would be going on their corner shop lunch break - to wake up.

The problem was: these kids weren’t eating proper food. They were subsisting on nicotine, sugary snacks, and Coca Cola. So this guy, who’d heard of our school, got in touch and requested meal plans and then introduced mandatory breakfast and lunch, with dinner still optional, all following our school’s carefully designed meal plans (vegetable frontloaded with only 100g meat per person, one vegetarian day, one fish day, all bread made with whole meal flour. And since this was Denmark, dinner was a “cold table” i.e. rye bread with various topping choices, salads, and any lunch leftovers reheated as a side). And he made it mandatory for all the staff too, and assigned seating groups with a staff member (we had this at our school too), so that each meal resembled a family meal.

And suddenly these kids were having complete breakfasts with oatmeal porridge and yogurt and toast and some fruit and milk and orange juice, which gave them a solid source of energy to start the day, and they had a hot meal for lunch, and after a about a week of this dinner attendance skyrocketed. The kids weren’t restless and anxious anymore. Most of them voluntarily quit smoking and most of them stopped getting a soft drink from the corner shop too - they weren’t hungry anymore, so the sugary craving went away. These kids, just because they were getting three solid meals every day, flourished. They could concentrate in class. They were awake in the morning. They didn’t stay up late wired and restless. They all graduated and went back home and didn’t see the inside of any system, welfare or criminal, again. These kids didn’t want to be troublemakers - they just (for whatever reason) didn’t have the foundation they needed to succeed and that foundation, it turned out, was proper nutrition.

Really, truly, please do not underestimate eating. Don’t skip your meals. Take care of yourself.