please pretend for a minute this is how keys work in the warframe universe and then pretend again this is why they absolutely don’t

How Much Can Kill You?

Water -  Everyone has heard that they should drink 2 liters of water every day. But if you drink 3 times as much, your kidneys will not be able to process this much liquid and get it out of your system. The result can be internal organ and brain edema and respiratory arrest. 

Coffee -  Half an ounce of caffeine is believed to be a lethal dose. It is approximately 113 coffee cups (of 250 ml). It is worth mentioning that in this case, a person would probably die not from the caffeine overdose but water intoxication: 113 cups are actually almost 30 liters of water. So if you don’t eat coffee beans or mouthfuls of instant coffee, you are safe.

Chocolate -  Chocolate contains a small amount of theobromine. This alkaloid is a powerful agent that stimulates the central nervous system. But if you ate 22 lb of chocolate in one sitting, it could lead first to nausea and diarrhea, then an epileptic fit, then internal bleeding, cardiac infarction, and finally death.

Alcohol -  For a healthy man, a deadly dose would be 1.25 liters of 40% alcohol (approximately 27 shots of 45 ml each). But it will happen only if the man finishes this amount within one hour and does not throw up.

Cigarettes - Taking into account that each standard cigarette contains approximately 0.8 mg of nicotine, 75 cigarettes can blow you to kingdom come.

Marijuana - Things are slightly different with marijuana. The fatal dose is 1,500 lb, smoked within 15 minutes or 48 lb eaten at one time. And you probably won’t enjoy it at all. Not even Snoop Dogg can do that.

Apple Seeds -  You won’t die from eating 18 apples. But if you take out the seeds from those 18 apples, smash them to pieces, chew them thoroughly, and swallow them, then there is a possibility that you will die because apple seeds contain cyanide. 

Bananas -  Bananas contain potassium, an overdose of which can lead to death. But for this to happen, you would have to eat 400 bananas in one sitting.

Oranges -  To die from an orange overdose, you would need to eat 11,000 oranges in one sitting.

Salt - The everyday norm of salt is approximately 0.1 oz. A lethal dose of salt is 9 oz in one sitting (approximately 48 teaspoons). If someone decides to choose this way to commit suicide, it will be a truly regretful choice because the death would be agonizing (from a lot of enemas) and long.

Sugar -  The fatal dose of sucrose is 5 oz per pound of your body weight. This means that a man would need to eat 55 lb of sugar in one go, which equals approximately 500 teaspoons

Toothpaste - Theoretically, you would need to eat 24 tubes of toothpaste to get to the afterlife. 

Appleseeds and bananas are more lethal than weed. Fuck anybody who ever says anything about weed ever again.

I would be impressed if someone died from eating that many oranges

And here I am, reblogging this and realizing that I almost killed myself by eating a half pound bag of dark chocolate covered espresso beans.

HEY Y’ALL

See this beautiful seeker????? 

She’s NOVA STORM! And in case you can’t remember who Nova Storm is….

That’s her!!! (She got tired of being mistaken for Sunstorm)

So while we don’t have trans Skywarp, we DO have trans Nova Storm!!!!

reminder that nova storm canon trans

just your daily reminder that trans robots are canon!!! as shown here in this panel from the IDW comics :)

ain’t that great??? and what’s more, other writers like mae catt like trans bots!!!

gosh i sure do love that trans robots are completely, irreversibly canon and that nova storm is trans and beautiful :)

My pieces for the @tf-crystalline-zine plus the stickers I made for it!  It was great fun working with my friends to make this, especially for my first Zine contribution and first time organising a zine! Thank you to everyone who brought a copy!♥

The good stuff!  Check out more pics like these here and here.

There’s a lot of negative posts going around, not intentionally negative but highlighting the issues at hand - they are doing their job, but let’s not forget the light and the good that still prevails. And it does - I promise you that - because, fundamentally, people are good.

so I had an idea for a regency romance novel that I really want to read but it doesn’t seem to exist so now I guess I have to write it

and after brainstorming with @romancingthebookworm for a bit she suggested that I post about it to try to drum up interest and keep myself accountable while I write it so here goes:

an older duke/earl/whatever it doesn’t matter and his (teenage? 20-something?) son are killed in a freak accident outside of London and their bodies are disfigured beyond recognition. the son’s twin sister, in a desperate attempt to keep her family title out of the hands of a distant relative who for whatever reason is unsuitable, claims that she was the one who was killed, and takes her brother’s place and her father’s title

everything is going swimmingly for a couple of years, although eventually she knows that she’s going to have to find SOME way to continue her family line, until FEELINGS for another young lady threaten to put everything at risk

meanwhile, the girl she’s fallen for has gotten herself “in trouble,” if you know what I mean and is on the verge of scandal, herself

the two eventually each reveal their secrets to each other and strike a bargain, which they initially tell themselves is a marriage of convenience to protect both their names, but of course eventually LESBIANS. or really, LESBIAN/BISEXUAL, which is even more exciting to me.

thoughts?

IT’S SHIPPING NOW

if you are interested in the physical copy, you can get it here

(Kindle edition is still in the works, but coming soon!)

reminder that the Kindle book is out now!

also, if you’ve read the book already and enjoyed it, it would really mean the world to me if you would leave a review!

#just bought it!!#also holy shit this was surprisingly inspiring bc noah fence but i thought it was another novel idea that would stay an idea#but you??? literally held yourself to the task and did it like holy shit

noah fence taken! it was a labor of love, but knowing so many people were into the idea definitely helped keep me going

Drift, Ambulon, and Brainstorm all having ex-con inside jokes and having a riot over them but every time Megatron tries to walk in on it like “what’s up fellow kids ex-cons?” the three of them are just like

Amazon Link: https://amzn.to/2twJSuu

Looks like millennials kill an industry before it even got off the ground😂

next: KILL THE IDEA

Weak Trope: Having a character’s driving motivation be REVENGE up until the last second when they pull the “revenge won’t bring my wife/sister/town/three-eared dog back” and leave the bastard they’ve been hunting down alive.

Strong Trope: Hello! My Name! Is Inigo Montoya! You Killed My Father! Prepare! TO! DIE! *corners count rugen* Beg for your life *slashes cheek* Offer me anything I want in the world!  *slashes other cheek* I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON OF A BITCH. *stabs count rugen to death*

I have 36DD boobs and a shirt with Sapphire from Neko Atsume on it, and….yeah.

Radiant love (lewd)

Fear washes over him, as the dropframe of his ship turns around and he sees only the deep space. Normally he should jump, like he always does and the Archwing then would follow him but…he can’t do it.

“Operator? Is everything all right?”, his Cephalon asks, concerned about him.

“I’m scared!”, he yells back, as he feels, how the Cephalon is about to push him out.

“But you have to do this mission! Otherwise the Grineer will…!”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to! I’m afraid!”,, the Warframe screams, now nearly hugging his ship, so he doesn’t get launched into space.

“What’s wrong, Tenno?”, Ordans calm voice then can be heard through the comms and Umbra immediately screams: “I DON’T WANNA DO THIS MISSION!”

“What kind of mission are you….oh I see the problem. Should I send someone to take care of the mission for you?”, he offers and Umbra nods, then he remembers that Ordan can’t see him and so he says: “YES! Yes, that….that would be great!”

“Okay, then I’ll see who is nearby”, with this the comm goes silent and Umbra exhales, shaking he lets got of his ship, then he screams in surprise, as the ship pushes him away with a hot stream of air, out into the deep dark space.

“Don’t be such a coward! You are a Tenno! A fierce warrior! Not some kind of-”, his Cephalon immediately shuts up, as he can hear the Warframe screaming.

Even when the Archwing connects to the Frame and he can breathe again, the screaming continues.

“I’m sorry Operator, I shouldn’t have done this”, the Cephalon then apologizes.

“When I come back I will teach you some manners!”, Umbra screams angry and his anger briefly overpowers the fear. Then he realizes that he can’t use his powers.

“What is…this…?”, he asks confused.

“While connected with the Archwing you can’t use your Warframe ability’s”, the Cephalon explains to him and Umbra screams in anger.

“I going to cut you out of my ship and replace you with another Cephalon!”, Umbra then yells in anger and frustration. He tries and get the hang of his Archwing, which he eventually does, as the machine comes to life and with a surprised scream, Umbra gets launched forwards.

“What the hell?!”

“That was the Teleport ability”, his Cephalon explains to him and then continues to explain to him the abilities of his Archwing.

“You have an Itzal-Model, which are used for stealth and quick lethal attacks from behind. You can blink, make yourself invisible, create a temporary black hole and call a few drones to aid you in battle. Oh and I think there comes the Tenno that Ordan mentioned”

A slim, black-red colored Liset holds next to his ship, a blue-golden-black colored Scimitar. The dropframe of the Ship turns around and in it is a frame that Umbra has never seen before. It is obviously a male frame due to his proportions, his helmet is for Umbra similar like that from Limbo, who he sees in the dojo often together with Equinox. Blue flames erupt from his chin and engulf his left arm, even a portion of his chest is burning in those flames. How does he sustain those out here where there is no air for the flames?

The blue-black Warframe launches itself out of the Liset and an Archwing follows him. The Archwing of the new Frame looks bulkier than his and Umbra can’t resist the urge to ask his Cephalon which model that is.

“He has an Elytron Model”, his Cephalon seems to be an expert in reading his body language, or he knew that Umbra was interested into the other Archwing, which was mounted on the lower back of the new Warframe.

“You okay?”, the Voice of the other Warframe sends a chill down his spine and for a moment Umbra totally forgets to breath. Then it hits him, that the other just asked him a question. It would be rude not to answer that.

“Y-Yeah I’m…it’s just my first Archwing mission ever and…I’m kind of afraid”, he then answers and he can hear a soft chuckle, escaping the other one.

“All right, it is easier than it seems. Just lean in the direction that you want to fly”, he then draws his weapons, a large canon, the Grattler, if Umbra recalls the name of the Archwing weapon correct.

“I…”, Umbras voice is hoarse and he can’t even finish the sentence, he feels like his entire form gets crushed and a small whimper escapes him.

The new Frame turns around and holsters the Grattler, then he glides slowly in his direction.

“You all right?”, he asks, one hand reaches out for him.

“Help…!”, Umbra can feel the panic crawling up in his entire form, he can’t breathe, he can’t move, all is black. He feels like back then, when he was in the bed, his body slowly turned into this thing he was now.

The new Warframe is faster at his side, then he expected him to be. Hands stroke soft over his chest, ease the pain a little bit and he catches his breath, deep inhales and trembling exhales, his entire form is shivering, even when the Archwing keeps his body warm and protect him from the cold nothingness of space.

“Help…”, he whispers, before the panic overwhelms his systems again, his entire vision goes black.

Revenant is taken aback, as the Warframe before him, begins to howl and lash out with his arms, the fingers formed like claws. Then he tries to rip of the Archwing from his lower back. Revenant rushes forward and hugs the other frame, both are spinning and the whole space is spinning around them. “Schhhh….calm down….”, he tries to soothe the other, but it doesn’t seem to work, for the black-red Warframe now begins to throw punches at him.

“Eric?! Extract us immediately!”, he then cries out for his Cephalon, then he contacts Ordan through his comm.

“Ordan? Sign some other Tenno up for this mission, I believe Umbra has a panic attack or something like that”, he then tells the mercenary, that is currently supervising them.

“Okay, get out there alive you two”, Ordan says in a calm manner and Revenant then says: “We will and sorry for the trouble we’re making you”

“Don’t worry about it, I knew that Umbra would have some panic attack and so I’ve send Oberon Prime and Nekros Prime on that mission, before I have send you. They should arrive now at your position. Give them a quick briefing and then you can extract”, after that Ordan again ends the transmission and the comm is quiet again.

Revenant looks up and a few meters away he can see the two ships, the dark-purple one from Oberon Prime and the green-silver one from Nekros Prime. Both Warframes launch themselves into the space, their Archwings follow them and they connect with them. Then Oberon Prime, colored in black and purple, hovers close to them.

“Ordan said you have the details for us?”, he asks and Revenant nods, while he holds the screaming Umbra close to his chest.

“Yeah…up ahead are three Grineer satellites…defend them while Ordan hacks into them to extract some data”, he then gives Oberon Prime the debriefing of the mission, that Umbra should be doing.

The dark-purple prime frame nods and then he and Nekros fly in the directions of the satellites.

His Liset is hovering next to him and Revenant can feel the pull, as he gets closer to the landing craft. “Hold on Operator, I’ll get you and the other Warframe to safety”, his Cephalon, Eric, says with his calm voice.

“And what is with my operator?”, the Cephalon of the Umbra Warframe interrupts both of them, the Scimitar, floats a few meters away from them.

“Just fly to the Dojo, we’ll be there”, Revenant then says and enters his Landing Craft together with Umbra, who has calmed down a bit.

“You okay?”, Umbra looks around, the walls of the room are covered in a black paint and outside he can see the stars flying by. Where is he…?

Then the other Warframe comes into his sight and he freezes. “I’m…”, if he could he would blink and his cheeks would burn red in embarrassment, but he hasn’t his old body anymore, so he can’t blink. But he apparently can blush, as the warmth on his cheeks indicates. He immediately knows what has happened. He had another panic attack and was lashing out…he even tried to get rid of his Archwing…and the other has hugged him, calmed him a bit down. Then they were here and the other Frame had deactivated the Archwing, which was now leaning against the wall of the quarters. Umbra glanced at the Archwing and a weak growl escapes him. Never again, he swears to himself. Never again he would do Archwing missions. At least not this year. Or this month.

“Yeah…at least now…thanks for…calming me down and…bringing me here”, Umbra briefly recalls something about the mission, he was supposed to do…and that two other Tenno had shown up to do the mission for him.

“Who…?”, his voice is weak and cracks, unable to speak Umbra growls in frustration, but the other seemed to understand him even without the rest of the question.

“Oberon Prime and Nekros Prime showed up and are currently doing the mission”, the Warframe answers him.

“And who…are you?”, Umbra then looks direct at the Warframe, who chuckles and nods.

“Yeah I totally forgot to introduce myself. My name is Revenant”, he ten introduces himself and Umbra nods.

“You’re the one who…guarded the Eidolon, right?”, he then asked and he can hear a low growl from the other Frame. Maybe he…shouldn’t mention that. It seems a very touchy subject.

“And you’re the one who killed his own son, right?”

“Touché”, Umbra then said and looked away, his entire face burned with embarrassment.

“You shouldn’t start a conversation with something like that. If I wouldn’t know how you feel out there I would have thrown you out by now”, the Warframe says and Umbra stiffens, his entire body locks up and goes still, just like it has, when Ballas had frozen his movements to protect himself from the blade. Then he was with his Operator, who had broken the force shield that laid upon him, he had allowed him to push his blade deep into the stomach of his ‘old friend’. Once Ballas was is friend, but not anymore. And since the Operator decided to merge complete with him, he hadn’t his void powers, but that wasn’t necessary, his screams did the same to the Sentient, as the Void Powers of the Child.

And after he and the child did fuse their minds and bodies he felt…different. It didn’t bother him but his entire body felt a little bit different. He had feelings which he hadn’t have before, just like this embarrassment, when he made that comment about Revenant guarding the Eidolon.

“You okay?”

Umbras helmet spins around and then collides with that of Revenant, he can feel the warmth of the blue flames on his skin and he can’t quite help but enjoy the warmth and the closeness to the other Frame. Also he can’t help but feel a strange warmth building up in his crotch.

“Oh my…what do we have here?”

A soft moan escapes Umbra, as the other Warframe closes his hand around the errection, which is currently sprouting out of his body. Revenant chuckles and gives the penis a soft stroke, admiring the soft skin that the organ is made of.

Umbras hips jolt upwards and Revenant sighs. “What wonderful things I could do to you if I had a mouth…”, he then says and an Idea forms in Umbras mind.

“Well…you might not have a mouth but I have one~”, he purrs and Revenant tilts his helmet in a curious manner, a small gasps escapes him, as Umbra opens up his maw and a black-golden tongue licks at Revenants chin.

The Umbra frame chuckles and then says: “So…where should I put my mouth to work?”

Revenant slowly let’s himself down onto the couch, Umbra can see the big cock, that has sprouted from the other Frames middle section.

“Oh, I see~”, he purrs and then Revenant hips jolt upwards, as the black-golden tongue wraps around the tip of his penis, which then gets swallowed whole and disappears complete in the maw of the black-golden frame.

Revenant moans in pleasure and starts to thrust his cock into Umbras maw, who then grips his hips and pins the other Frame down, causing him to whimper with a plead for more.

He lets the penis pop out of his maw, looks at Revenant and a grin begins to form, while he says: “Well, I didn’t expect you to be so eager~”

“U-Umbra…! Please I-!”, Revenant screams out in delight, as the long tongue again is wrapped around his rock hard member and the maw starts to engulf his cock. Umbra purrs low and with his hands he starts to massage Revenants thighs, which makes the other shudder in pleasure.

Both yelp in surprise, as the doors to Revenants personal quarters open up and slowly Umbra turns his helmet towards the door, the cock of Revenant still deep inside his maw.

The Stalker leans against the open doors, a chuckle escapes him and he said: “Well….I’m very sorry to interrupt your little play time there, but I could use some help on a mission”

Umbra quickly let’s go off Revenant and hurries over to pick up his Archwing, his cheeks burn bright in embarrassment. Revenant growls frustrated and Umbra yelps in surprise, as the Frame jumps at him, then whispering in his ear: “Oh we are far from finished!”

He then turns to the Stalker and says: “Give us a few minutes, would you?”

Chuckling the Stalker nods and then turns to leave both of them alone. Malik stands next to him, his Frame, a black-red colored Harrow, stand next to him, unmoving as all Frames should that are not bind permanently with their Operator or that aren’t controlled by an Operator.

“You okay?”, he asks the Stalker, who shakes his head and then mumbles: “Why do all this things happen only to me?”

“What do you mean?”, Malik asks and lifts up one eyebrow in a curious manner, while tilting his head to a side. The Stalker sighs and then says bluntly: “Umbra was sucking Revenants cock as I disturbed them. And we should give them a little bit of space as well as leaving this ship. I don’t want to listen to both of them having sex”

Maliks cheeks go red with embarrassment and he quickly vanishes into his Frame, then he just grabs the hand of the Stalker and almost runs out of the Landing Craft.

Umbra is pressed against the wall and Revenant growls deep, spreading the black thighs of the other Frame. “You can’t just leave me like that, Umbra”, the blue-black colored Warframe whispers in his ear and Umbra whimpers, as he can feel the tip of Revenants errection softly touching his butt.

“Don’t be afraid, I’m gentle”, Revenant then hugs the Frame from behind and engulfs him into his own energy, warmth flows through Umbras entire body and he moans in pleasure as Revenant grinds himself against his back, his cock leaking against his ass.

“You see? It isn’t that bad, hm?”, Revenant chuckles and Umbra screams in delight, as the other Frame then begins to bury his rock hard member in Umbras ass.

“What’s taking them so long?”, Malik wonders and the Stalker graps the Harrow by the shoulder, stopping him from entering the Drop ship again. “Don’t walk in there now…you might not see it, but their energy level output is very high”, he says and Malik looks up to him, confused.

“What do you mean?”, he asks the other and the Stalker sighs.

“Their fucking”, he then states bluntly and Maliks cheeks go red, while the Stalker begins to chuckle in amusement.

“Well, at least they have turned their comms off. Not like…Mag and Nova”, he then says and Maliks cheeks go even redder, which the other Frame might not be able to see, but he can tell it from the slightly nervous shifting of the black-red Frame.

Both jolt in surprise, as they can hear a loud scream from inside the ship, probably Umbra, and then an unlikely howling follows, which makes Malik and the Stalker squirm uncomfortable.

“I think they are finished now…”, Malik states and the Stalker nods, then he shivers and murmurs: “Remind me not to upset the new one…he seems like a though guy and I really don’t want to feel his wrath unleashed upon me”

The Landing craft then turns around and both Warframes step out, Umbra has an Archwing with him, that looks like it belongs to the Frame and Stalker tilts his head in a curious manner.

“What is that?”, he asks and points at the Archwing.

“You…don’t know what that is?”, Umbra asks and the Stalker crosses his arms before his chest.

“Would I be asking if I knew?”, he then throws the question back at Umbra.

“No you wouldn’t….uhmm…ask Frost, he can….explain that better to you…I’m still very new with those myself”, the black-golden Warframe then says and Stalker nods, points at the Landing Craft, that is next to the ship from Revenant. “I believe that is yours”, he says and Umbra nods, slowly walks to his Landing Craft and then he says: “I’ll be with you three on the mission. We’ll met there”

He steps into the frame of the Landing Craft, which then turns around and he enters his ship.

There he collapses on the ground and whispers: “I….had sex with Revenant….”

It wasn’t bad but he had to sort his mind and his feelings before he would be making his way to the mission, which was in the void, as he could see on his navigation. He could also see that the three others made their way to their Landing crafts.

With a deep exhale he stood up and got to his arsenal, where he stored the Archwing and then he picked his weapons for the sabotage mission, before his ship followed the other three Cephalons. His own Cephalon was oddly quiet and he should apologize for being so rough and mean to it.

“Grees?”

“Yes?”, the Cephalon immediately answered as he called out for him.

“I…I apologize for my behavior earlier. I was childish and I…I was afraid and…I’m sorry for shouting at you”, he then apologizes and the Cephalon chuckles, then he says with a soft voice: “It is all right. Revenant was there to calm you down. You all right, Operator?”

“Yes I am…and maybe I have fallen for Revenant…”, Umbra then states and sits down into the Landing Craft, his weapons already equipped.

“Is that a bad thing? I thought that the other Tenno are very open about their relationships. They have even accepted Stalker and Frost being together”, his Cephalon sound a little bit confused.

“I…don’t know if he loves me too”, Umbra then says and the Cephalon goes silent for a moment, before he says: “I believe he does. He was there to calm you down, so he might feel something for you. Don’t despair Operator! I know just the thing to cheer you up!”

Soft tunes reach his ear and Umbra softly hums with the melody, smiles from Juran. It eases him and puts his mind at peace.

“Thank you….”, he then whispers and his mind drifts away, while he imagines playing that song to Revenant one day.

@anavi-ivy

I’ve seen all these shows (and of course the others) at least two times each, so I firmly stand by my placements here. Gimme your opinions.

This is fairly accurate

BFG 10000: -exists-

Doomguy: