dressycobra7 reblogged
drew some of my fav sanses at work
dressycobra7 reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Omg they're ~~(wanted in at least 5 countries)~~ so silly I need the cheese ask with the other skellies pls
Horrorswap Sans - He scolds you for playing with food and starts eating the cheese anyway because he doesn't want to ruin it. But still, stop it!
Horrorswap Papyrus - He dramatically falls on the floor like a dying sea star, the cheese on his face. You killed him, congratulations.
Horrorfell Sans - He throws the cheese against the wall, hisses angrily, and then goes on all four to growl at the enemy. That's only when he realizes it's just cheese that he turns to you and starts to yell at you, asking if you think it's funny. Well. Yes, it is actually.
Horrorfell Papyrus - Are you proud of yourself? Throwing cheese at people who can't even walk to defend themselves. Shame on you. Shame on your cow. And shame on your face because as soon as you lower your guard, Chief slams the cheese back at you.
Outertale Sans - He dodges, mocking your terrible aim, knocks himself out against the ceiling, falls on the floor, and the cheese falls back on his face. Loser.
Outertale Papyrus - What are you? Five? He scolds you for showing a bad example to the children he's babysitting. Now go in timeout to think about what you just did. You regret nothing though.
Dancetale Sans - He ducks, does a back somersault, and shoots the cheese in the air like a pro footballer. The cheese somehow ends back in your face instead of his. Not fair.
Dancetale Papyrus - He screams, slaps the cheese on the floor, slips on the cheese, and falls on his back in an even louder scream. He then gives you an angry stare. You decide to retreat.
Dancefell Sans - He stays still :( He probably deserved this. He's a loser after all. He sits sadly on the floor with his cheese on his face and he stays there. What a drama queen, you swear.
Dancefell Papyrus - You thought it would be fun to do it while he's streaming. You didn't expect the Internet to turn this into a meme though. Poor Tango has his cheese face on every screen of the world for two whole months. He's mad at you lol.
Farmtale Sans - Uh oh. If there's something you don't want to insult, it's Sam's cows. And you just threw his baby's cheese at his face! How dare you! He starts a 10-minute speech about how hard it is to make cheese and how you're ruining his work with your pranks. You can stop chuckling honestly.
Farmtale Papyrus - He gives you a confused look, mildly panicked. Did he do something wrong? Are you angry at him? Why? He doesn't understand what's going on and he's not sure if he should laugh with you or hide or something.
Mafiatale Sans - He gives you an unamused stare, the cheese in his hand. You think you're really funny, uh? You're not going to laugh so much when he will mess with the water temperature while you're taking your shower tonight. But he will though.
Mafiatale Papyrus - Creeper keeps his natural poker face, not really caring about the cheese. He quickly discards it and returns to whatever he is doing. You're pretty sure you saw the shadow of a smile on his face but it's hard to tell, really. He's too good at being expressionless.
Mafiafell Sans - He tries to warn you, but you do it anyway. Suddenly, the leashes of the twenty dogs you were holding pulls forward, making you literally fly. The dogs all jump on Fang so they can have the cheese on his face. As for you, you're biting the dust... Quite literally.
Mafiafell Papyrus - Torpedo does the dramatic turnaround and asks silently who threw cheese behind his head. Because you have a survival instinct, you immediately points at Fang, who is sleeping peacefully at his desk. You feel bad when Torpedo starts to yell at his brother, flipping the desk over with everything on it. You decide it's maybe best to retreat because Fang is staring through your soul and you have a feeling you will pay for that.
Ink - He accidentally put his brush in the way, which opened a portal on an Undertale cheese AU where all characters are cheese. Ink is very excited and insists you two should go to try to eat Sans. You're not sure about this.
Error - He moved at the same time and now the cheese is in his eye socket. Error is rolling on the floor, screaming and glitching in agony, trying to get this thing out of there. Let's just say you better run fast and far away from him.
Disbelief Papyrus - He ducks instinctively. The cheese ends in Asgore's beard, who was just standing behind. You have a fun afternoon planned now, trying to save Asgore's beard without shaving it because the cheese is stuck in there. Delta is lecturing you while you're working.
Killer Sans - He hates cheese. He has the biggest gagging ever, throws the cheese away and runs to clean his face. He can't stand the smell, he swears he's going to grow himself a stomach to puke. You just found a mass destruction weapon randomly. Cool.
Dustale Sans - His brain completely stops working and he starts to stare at the emptiness. There's nothing in these eyes anymore. He stays there, frozen, and refuses to move before you get rid of the cheese.
dressycobra7 reblogged
Thank you @radpunch for giving me an excuse for more Farmtale Sans... he's the love of my life
I don't usually do this, but I thought I'd add some recommended music for reading this piece. I listened to this the whole time I was writing, and I think it really adds to the vibe.
---
To anyone else, the sight of a body in a field neighbouring yours probably would’ve caused no small amount of alarm. Instead, you just sighed, finally laying down your shovel for the day and hopping the fence you had only just finished repairing.
The grass brushed against your hips as you walked, moving your feet as if wading through water. The evening sun caught the long, glimmering single stray cobwebs that trailed from the grass flower heads, and illuminated the tiny fluttering bodies of disturbed insects that fluttered up and away when you walked by. Though it was a pain to move through, you always liked when the field looked like this. It was your own romantic summer sea.
Eventually, you came across the ‘body’. Sans was lounging with his head propped up on a pile of empty seed bags, straw hat placed on his chest, sockets shut. The sun didn’t reach him now, the tall grass on all sides of him left a perfect little shady spot where he had nestled in. He looked very comfy... very peaceful. This wasn’t unusual at all, for him. He had a knack for finding hidden places to nap.
You crouched down. You could hear him faintly snoring. There was a tiny iridescent beetle sitting proudly on his bent knee, using the vantage point to observe its surroundings. It didn’t seem bothered by your presence in the slightest.
dressycobra7 reblogged
Anonymous asked:
You mentioned Farmtale Sans has a favorite goose, one he apparently talks to. Does it have a name? Why is it his favorite? Are there any other animals on his farm he’s especially fond of?
He's fond of all the animals, but it's just the general kind of love you would feel for creatures you care for so regularly. He likes the chickens and their silly antics, but he doesn't have a particular favourite out of the flock.
The goose in question is a big female called Truffle. She's the goose they've had in the flock the longest, and she's getting a bit 'long in the beak' so to say. Ganders (male geese) tend to be sillier and funnier, Papyrus' favourite is a gander who sometimes follows him on his morning runs. But sweet-natured Truffle has always been Sans' favourite and she might just be his number 1 favourite animal on the farm. Much like the chickens, if she's not busy doing goosey things, she'll come find him when he's napping and settle in next to him.
If you want to be with him, you have to learn to get along with Truffle.
dressycobra7 reblogged
compiled the doodles I did with friends yesterday :,D !!!
Can you tell who’s on my mind rn :,)
Suggestive themes under cut
dressycobra7 reblogged
Anonymous asked:
How would Farmer Sans handle hearing that MC was sick? Maybe they usually meet up a certain time while managing their morning chores and they’re just.. not there, only for him to later find that they’re bedridden
"hey, pumpkin."
The sound of Sans' voice, regardless of how soft it was, made you panic.
You sat bolt upright from your spot curled into the couch, jolting out of your strange fever dream. A cooling pack fell off your head, and a blanket you didn’t remember grabbing slipped from your shoulders to your lap.
Immediately, you could tell that you weren’t on your home couch. You didn’t recognise the blanket someone had tucked you under. You weren’t cold, you couldn’t smell the usual mix of dust and gradually fading damp - in fact, there were many wonderful scents mingling in the warm air, soup and tea and a sweet bread aroma that made your stomach rumble.
It certainly wasn’t where you expected to wake up, after you fell asleep in front of the dodgy TV once the painkillers finally kicked in. This was someone else’s couch. And after a few bleary moments, you recognised it all.
... It was Sans’ couch. You were in his house.
You looked up a little to see the man himself, as handsome as ever, leaning over the back of the sofa and looking at you. A gentle flicker of relief passed over his face.
#sans: [uses his 'talking to a scared horse' voice]#mc: Why the fuck am I into this??? WHY AM I INTO THIS??#also hes upset because he wants to look after her and he doesnt like that she didn't tell him earlier#he likes caring for you. how could you deny him the opportunity#do you HATE HIM???#From prev tags#nooooo#i could never hate him#Ugh#would love for this man to take care of me#plssssss#i don’t think I’m asking for much here#i love him so much#undertale#farmtale#sans#sans x reader#This is adorable
dressycobra7 reblogged
oh my gosh, i just pictured something that i personally think is hilarious and badass.
remember that scene in aggre where Skull absolutely whoops Hit’s ass?
now remember that Farmer Sans is on par with Skull in terms of strength?
oh yeah, i think you know where i’m goin’ with this.
Country bumpkin Farmtale Sans beating the shit out of Mafiafell Sans is unironically an absolutely incredible mental image. Farmer rolls his shoulder with an intimidating crack, says "aight, guess we're rumblin'.", spits out the straw grass he was chewing and then makes an absolute fool out of this city slicker. He doesn't even take off his hat. He's been around more intimidating horses than this turnip.
He's soft and polite. Don't mistake that for weakness.
dressycobra7 reblogged
Farmer sans being strong? 💪love your art 🫶
He will be the overwhelming number one in the strength category when all the sans in the universe are put together and tested :3 I always believe that will be the case!!!!
You make me love Farmer sans 🥺💚💚💚
dressycobra7 reblogged
Since Farmtale is on everyone’s brain…
What does Sans think of kids? It’s hard to have that perfect Farm Aesthetic without some little ones runnin’ amok through the house and the fields.
He likes children. He's good with them, too, calm and strong and funny. But he's also a lazy guy at heart. Whenever Papyrus drags him to one of the community get-togethers, the sight of all the village kids playing in a big rabble (climbing on everything) absolutely exhausts him. He never thought he'd have any kids of his own, partly because he didn't have anyone he wanted to have kids with, but also because he never really had that intense of a feeling about the whole subject. He always imagined himself as the fun Uncle Sans to some of Papyrus' future rascals- helping the parents whenever they need it but also having the ability to dip out if he ever gets tired. Papyrus was always popular with the little ones at those get-togethers, anyway, letting them take turns sitting on his incredibly high shoulders and playing for hours.
... Then he met you.
Suddenly, his head is full of thoughts he's never had before. Showing a little one how to feed chickens and geese without being scared. Lifting them up to pat the nose of a cow. Knitting new hats, socks and gloves each year as they get bigger. Taking turns with you, one stays home to rest and the other takes the kids out for the morning rounds. Having them sit on his knees and 'help' drive the tractor. Taking them out for their first time actually driving the tractor. Wiping their dirty hands on his waterproofs.
They're real nice thoughts. He can't help but wonder whether or not you think similar things.
dressycobra7 reblogged
In which Farmer tells Motti that he's known for a long time.
(I wanted to send off with a little comic for the New Year. It's been one hell of a ride, that's for sure.
Thank you all for the love and support! 🫶✨️🎆
dressycobra7 reblogged
Anonymous asked:
GRJRHRJDJRJD YOUR FARM SANS STUFF IS MAKING MY BRAIN BUZZZZZZ
What if some rich city dude started vying for Farm Sans' love interest? Like the dude is a total douche, and he turns around and tries to take Sans' girl? >:3
It's probably one of those assholes who buys a second/third home in the countryside, out-pricing local families, so he can have an 'escape' he only lives in for a month out of the year. He's in town to 'get away from it all' for a while.
This dude sets off all of Sans' alarm bells when he flirts with you. With any other person, Sans' reaction would depend on whether or not you were into them. He'd respectfully back off if you genuinely liked someone. But honestly, this douche's vibes are so rancid that Sans is going to be constantly brittle and cold and on the offensive. He has a few tactics up his sleeve.
For one - he uses his community connections. This guy (we'll call him Douche) is NOT welcome here, and Sans rubs it in. Country communities are tight-knit, can be pretty closed off, and are often actively hostile to people like Douche. Douche can barely buy groceries, people either ignore him or speak in cold and brusque tones, the snub from Sans and Papyrus means people will hardly look at him. Not to mention you've been so deeply accepted that it's as if you were born and raised there; nobody wants Douche to win you over. With or without Sans' encouragement, other folk will gossip to you about what a terrible person Douche is. "Oh, don't hang around with his sort, MC. You're such a sweetheart."
Sans is relatively oblivious to how his physique is attractive to you. But he's not oblivious to how physically intimidating he can be. He enjoys casual displays of his overwhelming strength, and the terror he witnesses in Douche's eyes; nothing shuts Douche up faster than having to watch his romantic rival wrangle a bull with just his hands. Sans will wander up to Douche (particularly while Douche is trying to chat you up) holding a sack of grain in one hand like it's nothing - "hey buddy, think you can hold this for me for a few secs?" - and then Sans will watch in glee as Douche tips over under its weight.
... Sans' favourite, though, is playing mind games. He fully leans into the 'dumb country guy' stereotype, acting like he's lazy and stupid, playing up his accent and easygoing tone. Until anytime Douche tries to seem smart. Then, in a searingly faux-friendly manner, Sans nitpicks him apart, correcting him on even the most complicated issues. "hey man, pretty sure socrates said that, not plato." "actually it's gravitational lapsing that causes that effect. lensin' is somethin' else entirely." "well i don't know about no NFTs... but i do know the blockchain is only as strong as its weakest link, an' deregulation makes it impossible to recover any phished money. seems like an inherently flawed system and no real way to store yer hard earned cash. but what do i know?" This also doubles as a way of making Sans look better in front of you, because you had no idea he was so smart.
Douche honestly doesn't stand a chance. But it's fun to watch him flounder.
dressycobra7 reblogged
May we please have more crumbs of farmtale sans?
I wanna follow the trail to the source 👀
I'm SO glad that everyone seems to like farmer Sans as much as I do. It warms my heart to see people appreciating the bumpkin.
Here's more romantic-leaning headcanons.
- Though his giving love languages are gifts and acts of service, his receiving love languages are very different. He likes doing stuff for his loved ones but he's incredibly awkward when you do stuff for him; he appreciates it, of course, but he won't know how to react.
- He prefers receiving quality time, and touch.
- Offer to accompany him on one of the many long car rides that come with living in the country. You can listen to music together on the shoddy radio. Do the early morning farm rounds with him! You don't even have to help- he might actively stop you from helping, bundling you in his coat because he's worried about you getting too cold or tiring yourself out. He'll see you nodding off while standing (it's 5am) and he'll scoop you up so you can sleep against his shoulder. He only needs one hand to do his chores anyway.
- What matters to him is you're there.
- Alternatively, give him casual gentle touch. It drives him wild. Put your hand on his arm when you laugh at his jokes, bump him when he's being teasing, nudge his knee with yours. Lean on him for any reason. He's good at masking how flustered he is in the moment but later, he'll be hiding his face in his pillow while recalling it.
- A gentle touch on his cheekbone will have him flustered for days.
- He's unintentionally a great flirt. He has a very soothing voice, and if he speaks softly enough completely normal polite sentences sound incredibly hot. He'll wink and say "i'm likin' the new hair, dolly. s'real cute." and you'll be reeling.
- During winter, you'll pretty much never be alone. Either you're at his and Papyrus' place, or they're at yours. They're worried about you feeling lonely.
- He tells his plants all about you. He's even named his favourite flowers after you. He'll take that secret to his grave.
- It's not just Papyrus who's vying for you and Sans to end up together. It's pretty much the whole monster community. Sans, the quiet fella who's never enthusiastic about anything at all, is head over heels for the new human in town? A good love story is ALL the rage somewhere nothing ever happens. You've got an entire community desperate to hear wedding bells.
- Sans is completely unaware of the fact that you might think he's hot while working. You see a confident, strong, sexy skeleton with his sleeves rolled up over his big arms. Meanwhile the second he notices you're approaching, he's sniffing his shirt because he's self conscious of how intensely he smells of cows and sweat.
- Having just said he doesn't do great with receiving gifts... if you cook something for him he'll love you forever.
- He's prone to jealousy. It doesn't show, but he'll pout if he feels like someone is stealing your attention. Time is a valuable currency in the countryside and he doesn't like when someone steals yours from him.
dressycobra7 reblogged
farm ibis paint doodle
dressycobra7 reblogged
Doodle dump of more Farmer sans and Motti stuff
dressycobra7 reblogged
A little something while I'm bored at work!
✨️Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! ✨️
dressycobra7 reblogged
Baby got b a c k 🫣
dressycobra7 reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Excuse me could we get some farmtale sans headcanon please just a crumb
You don't need to ask twice lol
- He's deceptively strong, even by Sans standards. He's on par with Skull for raw strength. This guy carries massive heavy things pretty much for a living; he loads bales bigger than you. He could carry you around on one arm, and he might genuinely tuck you under one arm if he needs to carry you while he's busy
- However he is also extremely Somft. He simply wants to sit on the couch and wear chunky knit sweaters and drink soup all day.
- His greatest talent is coming up with places to nap that are out of sight of Papyrus. You'll be regularly tripping over him
- He's wonderful to nap with! He smells like straw and sweet veg, his strong arms are perfect for cuddles. He is unreasonably comfy.
- He flirts by giving you things from the farm. He'll show up to your door without warning, carrying cartons of fresh eggs, boxes full of veg, butters and jams and chutneys... one time, even a whole wheel of cheese.
- (Probably saves you hundreds on groceries.)
- Papyrus frequently asks you to go check on Sans while he's working, maybe to bring him food or a drink, 'see if he's doing it right', etc. Papyrus knows Sans is absolutely fine and knows how to do those jobs. But he also knows that Sans makes an art out of half-assing certain chores and making them take forever... if you're there, Sans wants to show off, and he ends up working twice as fast.
- Sans has a way with animals. His vibes are just so easygoing that even the most high-strung creatures like him. Anytime he falls asleep, he ends up with chickens sitting with/on him until he wakes up.
- For a guy who works with plants, he's pretty terrible at remembering the names of them. He knows the important ones, and that's about it. Don't expect him to remember more than he absolutely has to.
- He's an excellent seamster! If anything you like rips, let him know. He can make it look good as new.
- His love language is acts of service. He does the absolute bare minimum for people he doesn't like, and equally, he does So Much for people he loves (like you). He'll tow you for miles if you break down, he'll pick you up from anywhere at any time without complaint, he'll lend you incredibly important items of his as if it's no big deal. If you leave him alone in your home for too long he'll find something to repair or tweak... clothes, furniture, holes in the walls/creaky windows, etc. You'll come downstairs in the morning to find out he's fixed your heating.
- His ideal date is driving out to a quiet field at night, then sitting under a blanket together and watching the stars. He may not know his plants... but he knows his stars, that's for sure.
- Too bad he'll be too busy looking at you.