something is forever (either way, it ends)

a/n: tiff and i decided to keep hurting each other with this fic. the actual title of the google doc was: zoyalai but make it hurt. enjoy.

Materialki: @iri-lynx (x) @tessorange-art (x) @paperplanenomad (x)

Ethrealki: @wafflesandkruge @dregstrash

Summary:

Zoya ends things with Nikolai on a Tuesday. She walks out of their shared home with nothing except the clothes on her back and a secret that's eating her alive. But before there was an end, there was a beginning.

Or, the story of Zoya and Nikolai in two parts.

Ao3 Link

Excerpt of Chapter 1 below the cut

i think i like you (maybe more than i should)

a/n: “I Think I Like You” by the Band CAMINO has literally been on repeat for a while, and I just had to write a short and sweet fluff filled Zoyalai fic for it.

AO3

Summary: Zoya has a realization

Zoya felt her heart start to sink to the bottom of her stomach.

It was like a rock that sliced through the calm of an unbothered lake.

The growing realization of something that should have never parted through the clouds of her own oblivion was now shining a light on the complete obvious.

And at the center of it all had everything to do with the man who was so casually sitting in her living room. Zoya had never been the kind of person who let other people into her personal space, but there he was.

After three years of being his friend, it was like Zoya had just looked up and found threads of him woven tightly into the fabric of her life.

His coffee in her pantry– for the days he couldn’t be bothered to travel all the way back to his own home.

The candles he got for her birthday– because he found out that she liked to take baths, and he insisted that the best baths were by candlelight.

The books he bought her when she started to miss her aunt and her niece– the pages filled with his thoughts or observations.

His favorite movies on her TV.

The random texts throughout her day when he was bored in class.

He had become a fixture in any of Zoya’s stories.

A habitual name that crossed her lips anytime Genya asked how she was doing.

A pervasive presence that started to hang around the corners of her dreams.

She started to wish that she had never seen him in her life. She almost wished that he had remained the stranger on campus. The anonymous stranger that would have used his handsomeness to try to get her number and then melt back to the crowd of rejections when she inevitably told him no.

And part of her hated him for not being what she expected.

He was supposed to be self-centered, narcissistic, and arrogant. Which he was. Sometimes.

What Zoya wasn’t expecting was for him to also be sharp, considerate, dependable, and one of the only people in her life who saw her edges and bitterness and didn’t feel the need to try and soften her.

my heart knows (you’re the missing piece)

Summary: It’s the anniversary of Nikolai’s family’s deaths. The weight of his crown has weighed heavier since then. He wonders if he’ll ever find peace. He wonders if he’ll ever feel whole.  

a/n: To my fellow Filipina ( @sanktnikolais​ )I lightly stalked your blog and saw that one of your fave bands is Ben&Ben. So, thank you for introducing me to a new artist, and this little ficlet is supposed to really emulate their song “The Way You Look At Me.” Pls don’t ask me where this fits in canon or think too hard about the fact Zoya would 100% not give into her feelings. Tis but vibes.

AO3

It had started to rain. The heavy drops of it hit Nikolai’s uncovered head. His hair creating pathways for rivers to run down the sides of his face.

Still, Nikolai stood statue-still in front of the dark tombstones.

“Whatever it’s worth,” Nikolai whispered, his words drowning in the sound of the storm. “I hope you are all at rest.”

a flower for you

a/n: This was my contribution to this year’s minibang through @grishaversebigbang​ . It was such a delight to work with @tessorange-art​ to bring her idea to life. And I hope everyone enjoys!

Materialki: @tessorange-art​  Link to their artwork

Summary: Zoya owns a flower shop and every day at noon she expects a certain charming customer (aka a Zoyalai flower shop au). 

Ao3 Link

Zoya glanced at the clock hanging above the door frame. It was noon. Any minute now he would–

A slight breeze fled into the shop, fluttering the petals of the flowers closest to the door, and Zoya’s eyes turned back to the arrangement in front of her.

“Good afternoon, my dearest and most brilliant–” Nikolai started, but was cut off as Zoya snipped off the last leaf on the stem of the arrangement. She bundled up the collection of dahlias, orange tulips, scotch brooms, and begonias and placed them in the vase next to her.

“That’ll be $35.89.” She said curtly. She rested her forearms against the glass counter, and tried to keep her face straight as Nikolai mirrored her position on the other side.

“Such service.” He grinned. “Do you treat most of your regulars this way? Or am I right that I am, in fact, your favorite?”

Zoya didn’t suppress her eye roll which only brightened his expression.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I have them ready this quickly, so you can leave sooner?”

Nikolai raised a hand to his heart and adopted a mock expression of hurt, “Oh, you wound me.”

I found this in my drafts and it was from a time when I didn’t have enough money for another tattoo, so I wrote a modern Zoyalai where Zoya is a tattoo artist and Nikolai lost a bet. 

It had all started with a bet.

A really stupid bet.

The kind of bet that is passed when the world is spinning and you hope that the person you were shaking hands with wouldn’t remember it when the morning sun came with the expected hangover. 

But unfortunately for Nikolai, Genya’s penchant for recording everything had worked against his favor (yet again) and now he has found himself inside of Zoya’s tattoo parlor itching at the slippery leather seats.

Nikolai wasn’t unfamiliar with tattoos. He did have a brief stint in the Navy--a stint that resulted in long, treacherous nights and a badly done compass rose tattooed on his thigh.  

He had toyed with the idea of getting another one.

Maybe when he had a better idea of what he wanted.

He was actually going to ask Zoya if she could do one for him, seeing as how she had her own business.

But the circumstances that led him to be at her station. In the middle of the day. Less than ideal.

Why yes I have been non-stop listening to Midnights 

obvious:

Anti-Hero --> Zoya

Mastermind --> Nikolai

bigger brained:

You’re On Your Own, Kid --> Zoya

Bejeweled --> Nikolai

matches and rings

a/n: I am really excited to share this piece with everyone. I love watching boxing movies, so some of my knowledge may be lacking, so if you know more than me, please don’t make fun of me. But I hope everyone enjoys reading about Zoya kicking ass and being amazing. 

@grishaversebigbang

Materialki: @gold-shades-of-a-lioness (link to the incredible piece) and @purns-art (link to the amazing art)

Summary: Zoya has been burned by her former coach and doesn’t want anything to do with this match he set up with his new athlete, Elizaveta. But this might be the only way to protect her family. And maybe this might be the only way she can finally be free of him. 

Ao3

They were like a series of mis-timed moments. A half step too late. A step too early. They spent so long stewing in silence that when the moment came for words to form into something that sounded genuine, the rock solid conviction melted like sand against the pull of a tide. 

They were lightning and thunder.

Perfect for each other. But one always arrived first, while the other lagged behind. 

And Zoya would wonder if the two of them were to be doomed this way.

Eyes that could never quite meet. Hands that were a touch too far away. A king with a treatise for a marriage. A general with duty bearing down on her shoulders.

And what if I can’t fall in love? 

Nikolai shook his head and sipped his tea. No. That wasn’t the real question that was pressing on the spider web fractures in his heart. 

Zoya presented another new woman to him as a candidate for a wife, and he stared at the blue ribbon holding her hair back away from her face.

He made some glib comment and she rolled her eyes. 

The question wasn’t if he can fall in love.

The dagger-like question that started to become a thorn to him was as simple as: And what if I can’t fall in love with anyone else?