trigun 1998 episode simulator

[3 minutes of guitar solo]

Vash the Stampede: hi my name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love. all I really want to do is have a sandwich and a morning coffee without getting chased by bandits

some bandit: (gunshot) absolutely not. square up faggot

Vash: rats.

[gunfight]

Vash the Stampede: my name is Vash the stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love.could I please have a sandwich

Meryl from the Bernardelli Insurace Society: how long are you going to sit on your ass doing nothing but playing games with children and doing chores for the elderly and disabled and looking after lonely youths and cooking dinner for the homeless

Vash: I've been here for like 2 days

Milly Thompson: Hi Vash!

Vash: Hi Milly

[exit left pursued by bounty hunters]

Vash the Stampede: (panting, entering a bar) my name is Vash the stampede.... I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Good L*rd what is going on in here

Hostage: mphdsfhapff!!!! mffmpphhf!!!!

Villain of the week: well if it isn't the elusive Vash the Stampede! you see it all started when I was 4 days old and you kicked me like a football and then exploded my parents to death with a laser canon and killed every puppy in a ten ile (translator's note: this is the No Man's Land equivalent of the American Mile) radius

Vash: I don't remember doing that but well I suppose you can shoot me if it'll make you feel better

Side character of the week: Are you insane? Just shoot him instead???

Vash: but my mom told me not to be mean to people

Villain of the week: (still going) And as I am now 47 years old I have finally decided to get my revenge. Say your prayers, Vash the Pisshead

[Wall explodes and reveals a motorcycle with a sexy priest on it]

[sfx: sexy spanish guitar with a hint of electric distortion]

Vash: is that..... Wolfwood?

Meryl who was in the background this whole time: the priest?

Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood: (brings his tan fingers up to a pair of luscious lips to grab the cigarette from right between them, taking one more slow inhale before crushing the cherry red underneath his heel)(sensually cocks one of his 8 guns) Are you just gonna let this guy talk down to you like that needle noggin?

Vash: I g-

[guitar riff bumper]

[guitar riff bumper]

Vash: -uess not, since you're here to help now... (slow, warm smile) Wolfwood

Nicholas D. ranged Wolfwood: Vash

Milly who was also in the background this whole time: Hi mr priest man! isn't this lovely, I haven't seen you since the last time you spoke with mr Vash yesterday evening when you were helping him buckle all those silly belts on his pants after he had lost them somehow

Vash: On a cactus

Milly: On a cactus! Oh it must've hurt so terribly; how fortunate that Mr Priest man was there to help you

Wolfwood: Hi Milly

[gunfight]

Villain of the week: ohhhhh curses!!! CURSES!!!! I have spent my whole existence getting ready to fight Vash the Stampede but he's just too good at swallowing all my bullets!!!!!!

Vash the Stampede: my tragic dead mother would be sad if I didn't swallow everyone's bullets so I've trained diligently every morning at digesting gunpowder without dying immediately

Wolfwood: [internally: I can't believe it. All this time I've spent walking the path of darkness, reaching to a pure light that I could never grasp, and yet here is a man who's dedicated his life and his body to the pursuit of Peace. I wish he were a woman so I could fuck him romantic style. I've got a whole plan for it and everything. Whiskey, sunset, a bed with no sand in it, 6 hours. This would be fully and completely possible if only he were a woman. Unfortunately he's not, but I can still think about the what-ifs. platonically of course. Maybe if he got some good dick he'd stop being so annoying. And maybe he'd stop making me rethink my morals. I wonder if the seven drunken handies meant anything to him. Platonically]

Wolfwood: Well anyway it looks like my job is done here

Vash: (teary) Will I see you again?

Wolfwood: I don't know. And besides, whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of everything I hate about myself. You know, it hurts.

[exit Nicholas D. Wolfwood pursued by repressed homosexual desires and immense catholic guilt]

Vash the Stanned Peat: (looking out the window like a widow whose husband was killed in action) Nicholas... D... Wolfwood.......

Meryl who was in the background that entire time, yes, the whole time: shut the fuck up already

Vash: when will it be my turn Meryl. When

[roll credits]

crack au where wq transmigrates into abo mdzs

releasing this from the drafts

vashwood

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weve seen that the friendsim trolls dont adhere to any sort of rules when selecting screen names so are we just supposed to assume that the hivebent trolls just… Did That

most likely karkat hit everyone up and bothered everyone until they all agreed to make up dumb names based around the A-T-C-G DNA pattern but the question is WHY

carcinoGeneticist: YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WE’RE ALL DOING IT. equiusZahhak: D–> I do not care what you all do carcinoGeneticist: EVEN NEPETA IS ON BOARD, AND SHE SAYS YOU HAVE TO. equiusZahhak: D–> …Fine –equiusZahhak is now centaursTesticle!– centaursTesticle: D–> Are you happy now carcinoGeneticist: YOU KNOW, I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

they're always bringing experts or activists on the news to agitate about porn and there's a standard script for this that's like "I think sex education is important, I'm not anti-sex, but so much of this porn is violent and misogynistic if not outright illegal, and it's far too accessible to our children"

I want to see someone finally be brave enough to say that the government should just make its own porn for teenagers that accords with community values, so they don't have to go to these shady places to get it. I think the government porn would probably be pretty bad but I would be so eager to hear about the process of designing it. there would be so many stakeholders and consultations. in canada it would have to be bilingual

no-one would find it at all sexy at first but then in 20 years there'd be a thriving fetish scene where people develop elaborate codes and practices around culturally-embedded tropes from government porn

guy who can only get off when his dom pretends to be badly dubbed into quebecois french

My friend just started playing BG3 and he made this character I'm-

And yes, he's a Bard.

don’t take this too seriously …

They Threw Beans On Him :C

i should have done this with my Actual brush pen but,

This is so Demyx and Xigbar

Organization XIII as Toilets

Xemnas:

Xigbar:

Xaldin:

Vexen:

Lexaeus:

Zexion:

Saix:

Axel:

Demyx:

Luxord:

Marluxia:

Larxene:

Roxas:

I have no like. Moral objection to adults watching children's cartoons lol. I don't think it's even inherently an annoying trait to have. But adult fans of children's cartoons have got to recognize how niche their interests are. You guys have to stop trying to get people who don't watch children's cartoons to watch children's cartoons. Like, new ones they don't already have any nostalgia for. No amount of "ooh this one has rep in it" can make someone care if they're severely not the intended audience and don't like the genre

Can you imagine if we did it the other way around though. I'm gonna force an adult owl house fan to watch the lighthouse. It has queer rep so you're gonna like it

I thought you loved houses

Xue Yang but he's a llama with a hat.

Source

One important thing that you should do as a queer person is to find another queer person whose brain works just like yours (romantically or not) and then adopt a cat together and then finally steal that fucking Pikachu and make it big

i'm coping