Don't break the plates! They're PEOPLE!

directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.

This is the information they are trying to keep from you by banning tiktok

I would love to see them try this with a greatsword that wasn't made out of foam.

This is one of the common misconceptions about swords: they aren't as heavy as you think.

A real medieval greatsword will weigh about 5-10 lbs, so in fact, that heft can be simulated with a foam weapon. Also, the point of balance is at the hilt, so you don't feel that weight while swinging.

The only difference would be that if it was a real greatsword, the other dude would be having a way worse day, lol

tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

who did you have to kill to get that URL

this is the perfect post. an already fantastic opening line. but while youre distracted by that, the next guy fucking smacks you in the face with cock

i don't doubt for a moment this has been done 1 million times but thinking about Starscream redemption arc scenario where he gets so mad at Megatron he decides to become an Autobot just to spite him

other Autobots on board once they realise it's not a trick. he's an invaluable ally. he is dishing out all the dirt on the Decepticons ranging from military secrets to every time he's seen Megatron pratfall.

Starscream: and then one time I walked in on Soundwave making kissy faces at Ravage and telling him that he was his favourite goodest special little boy in the whole universe. question, Prime?

Optimus: can we please get back to the matter at hand?

Jazz: no let him speak

the main stumbling block is they keep having to be like 'Starscream that's a really good idea but can you maybe tone down the murder' and then he has a temper tantrum bcos he already toned down the murder like 3 times and they can't reasonably expect him to come up with any plan that involves less than 10 murders that's absurd

its a permanent redemption arc bcos the Autobots opt to deploy the cunning strategy of 'maybe if we're nice enough to Starscream he'll decide he likes it better with us than with Megatron (who is a dick to him like all the time)'.

they don't really want Starscream on the team (annoying) but they want Megatron not to have him anymore.

eventually Megatron realises this isn't going to end, as he initially assumed, with Starscream crawling back to him begging for forgiveness within the week so he starts proactively trying to get him back on side before he tells the Autobots literally all their secrets

this ends w Megatron & Optimus pss pssing Starscream from opposite sides of the battlefield

Megatron is saying stuff like 'what kind of weakling wants to work for Prime are you a weakling starscream' and Optimus is using positive affirmations and once Megatron realises the positive affirmations seem to be working better he starts like, trying to be nice (bad at it)

occurs to me another major stumbling block is that he would absolutely roll up like 'I, Starscream, have decided to be the new leader of the Autobots'

I went ahead and indulged in an entire comic for the premise of this prompt by @keferon cause ive been thinking alot about ratchet (and i mean Alot, save my friends from my rambling)

+ some extra fun sketches :)

i have other comics cooking up so... stay tuned! Rolling out byeee

Conversation that Tumblr is not ready for:

I scrolled past that before realizing op was being literal and not just making some kind of weird joke

Oh please, "the penetration of the vampire's bite as metaphor for sexual penetration" is like, horny classic vampire symbolism 101 🙄 Taking this to the next level of "vampire bite as literal reproductive penetration" is a conversation Tumblr is thoroughly and uniquely prepared for and one that we will all severely regret very shortly

Oh, I’m ready to be a spectator for this conversation. I’m ready. 

So, when a vampire doesn’t want to become a vaddy, they use a set of these, right?

MA'AM.

[something, something] … practicing safe sucks.

Okay, yeah, I'll reblog that

Have some good old video game funnies

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

Clark: *does anything beyond human limits*

Smallville citizen:

The Kent's found an abandoned baby in a cornfield? Well good for them they've been longing for a child for years

I swear that Kent boy was running faster than that train...welp none of my business

Jonathan! Your witch child busted my tractor!

these are small town Midwest farmers they ain't saying shit to FEDS

I was gonna say, Midwestern rules says as long as that boy is polite and respectful (of course he is), there's no reason to ask any questions.

Imagine the nosy bitch (there's always a nosy bitch) going, "Oh, he's their ADOPTED son" and the OUTRAGE. "Oh, is your daddy your step-daddy, Lauren?"

"How could you say that???"

"Because everyone knows you don't look a thing like your daddy, but you sure look like his cousin."

Look, Smallville is a fairly small place. It's the type of place where you know your neighbors. You've seen little Sally growing and if you're close (either by blood or by distance) you would have been invited to Events.

The second someone realizes that the Kent boy is the reason you're not burying little Sally in a closed casket? You're closing ranks.

Yep there was a rock.

And should feds come asking I can assure you people will remember the day they did not have to tell their friends how their girl died horribly and keep their mouth SHUT.

Should he do something weird? You know how children these days are. I wish I had the strength of youth, ammiright?

would you like a nice glass of

Bowser respects gender non-conforming Mario even if he WASN’T INVITED

Getting used to a new Fandom cause that ⬆️ red car dragged me into it