@dragoninhumanskin / dragoninhumanskin.tumblr.com
How does superglue REFUSE to come out of the tube when you're actively trying to get some out, but as soon as you give up and put it down, the damn thing decides it's time to do world's best pineapple-with-a-werewolf-boyfriend -impression?
This website makes it impossible to communicate with normal people.
I just saw a wizard-as-fantastical-species shitpost and a maid-as-fantastical-species shitpost on my dash back to back, and now I'm kind of wondering what the maid equivalent of the classic "just a robe, a hat, and a pair of eyes" interpretation of the wizard-as-species would be.
(To be clear, what I'm asking is not "what would it look like if you put Orko in a maid dress"; I'm asking what it would look like if you constructed that type of extreme stylisation from first principles!)
people always talk about evil clones like oooh a dark mirror oohh what if you saw what are cruel person you were/are capable of becoming. and well yes but what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and what you saw was so bright it blinded you. what if you had to know exactly how good you could have been.
The wings give an extra lift
everyone shut the fuck up and look at this snake named barcode
she touch my yippee till i yay
my arguments for “no one recognizes Clark Kent as Superman”
1) Tony Hawk’s existence
2) Timothee Chalamet showing up at that lookalike contest and not even looking the most like himself
3) Dummy Parton losing a Dolly Parton look alike contest she entered. To a drag queen. She was tickled.
it's crazy how no one ever talks about the frozen section of the grocery store. like if you lean in too far and the door closes on you you're just trapped and you have to STAY THERE until you can grab another shopper to take your place?? and we all just act like that's normal?? I missed two weeks of eighth grade because I was stuck living in the frozen breakfast food section at fucking Walmart and I'm literally just supposed to be fine with that. hello???
ily, menswear guy
animals are quite funny.. you show them a Thing and theyre like "ok i will Sniff this"..
I gave resolved so many conflicts with Ollie by just letting him sniff. He wants to be involved with EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME and I can spend an hour fighting him or just let him sniff. Once he has snorft he will resume about his affairs but until then he is COMPELLED to sniff
did you know they started printing contrasting words on either side of sweettarts? like bold and calm, local and gobal, head and heart? i did not, so you can imagine how startled i was to look down while eating my discount candy and see this:
"chill heart, epic head" would be a really good tagline actually
the front seat of the car is a type of confessional
i genuinely think that physically it’s easier to have hard conversations when you’re both facing forward, not having to look at each other. the catholic church knew this also
woke up to a miasma of fog and gloom, pervasive drizzling, and indolent rolls of thunder in the distance
this is me bragging by the way
