DragonI

Republicans get to run America and liberals just get to ruin their dinner. We need to get people like Ted Cruz out of power, not out of restaurants. #SchlitzKavanaugh #WeBelieveSurvivors

— Bill Maher‏ @billmaher - Oct 5, 2018

we need to get people like Ted Cruz out of power, not out of restaurants. This is something Republicans understand way better than Democrats that real power isn't about making a scene or what makes you feel good. And power? It's a lot like owning rabbits. The more you have the easier it is to get a lot more. Power begets power.

Texas has very similar demographics to California but one reason they're red and we're blue is we want every citizen to be able to vote and they don't. A federal court has ruled 7 times that Texas Republicans drew their Congressional districts with, 'racial discriminatory intent.'

Even though he doesn't have the temperament to be a judge on American Idol because, like the rabbits, the more Justices Republicans get to pick, the more those judges protect unlimited campaign spending, and voter suppression laws, which helps get more Republicans elected. Power begets power.

Trump likes to say, 'the system's rigged.' Yeah, it's rigged, you're president. He leaves out the part that it's rigged for them. The electoral college helps Republicans. The fact that every state gets two Senators helps Republicans. [Senator] Mike Enzi of Wyoming represents 287,000 people; [Senator] Kamala Harris represents 20 million. Why is Wyoming even a state? ...

We all have to pin our hopes this week on Senator Susan Collins of Maine -- population: Stephen King, two lobsters, and a bear.

Republicans, you're the Alex Jones party now. There is literally nothing too stupid & conspiratorial that you will not swallow. #SpyGate #DeepState #RussiaGate #PizzaGate #UraniumGate #FISAGate #DossierGate

— Bill Maher‏  @billmaher - June 1, 2018

“Conspiracy theorists used to be ‘crazy,’ now they’re called ‘Senator. It used to be an unwritten rule of both parties that you can’t just make sh*t up; the old ‘You’re entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts’ thing. But that was before Republicans discovered, ‘Yes, yes you can just make sh*t up.’”

In his editorial New Rule, Bill argues that Donald Trump's illiteracy isn't his shame – it's his bond with America.

“Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, they’re city mice, and that’s who a consummate New Yorker like Donald Trump relates to.”

“Why is he always poop tweeting at 3 AM? Because he’s from a city that never sleeps. He’s such a New York guy, he had his last wife delivered.”

“It’s just that for the first 70 years of his life he would never be caught dead hanging around with a traveling Bible salesman like Paul Ryan or a corny, countrified goober like Mitch McConnell.”

“This is the existential crisis of our president. He’s an assh*le but not a hick.”

“I hate to break it to Real Americans but what Trump likes about Chuck and Nancy is that they’re NOT you.”

“When he tells a crowd, ‘I love you’. What he means is that in Middle America he found something that he had long lost in New York, SUCKERS.”

“Trump voters were played for rubes by the ultimate fast-talking city slicker. You didn’t make #MAGA you enrolled America in Trump University”

—  Bill Maher‏ - Sept. 22, 2017

Republican Congressman Michael McCall said about Hillary’s infamous private server, ‘In my opinion quite frankly it’s treason.’ See, they’re not afraid to say the T word about nothing. Her private server was treason? No, Trump being Putin’s private server, that’s treason.

For decades Republicans accused Democrats of being soft on Russia. Now we got a Republican president who wasn't just soft on Russia, He is totally hard for it.

Everyone he knows has had secret meetings with the Russians and lied about it including the National Security Advisor, the Attorney General, and the royal son-in-law.

They hijacked an election and he invites them into the Oval Office gives them secret intel admits to obstruction of justice on TV.

Facts don't count anymore. They're disdained. They're are pariahs. When they go low although we go high is a great applause line but as a tactic what country do you think you're living in right now. Wake up and smell the a$$hole. Because it turns out when they go low they get reelected. They take the Congress, the Supreme Court, the presidency.

From now on the Democratic motto should be when they go low we kick them in the nuts. Democrats have to start actually winning elections. I want some candidates on my team who can at least metaphorically body slam the Republicans. 

“Liberals need to stop trying to win over Trump voters with facts. You’re wasting your breath and you’re going to need it because the air’s not getting any better.”

“He could have Anne Frank‘s skeleton in his closet. They’d all vote for him again.”

“This is why building that stupid wall is still the key issue for them. Because it represents keeping out not just immigrants but everything that’s new and different and scary and unfamiliar.”

“But to Trump voters, making Santa black is unthinkable. It’d be like making Jesus Middle Eastern.”

“If you get up every day and try to make Donald Trump’s ludicrous and dangerous pronouncements sound normal and sane, you are an enabler.”

“Twenty years from now, when your kids ask you over a glass of soylent green, ‘What did you do during the Trump years, daddy?’ You don’t want your answer to be, ‘My job was to go on TV and pretend Trump didn’t say what everybody just heard him say,'”

Before leaving this election behind we must all thank Donald Trump for the one good thing he did. He exposed evangelicals who are big Trump supporters as the shameless hypocrites they have always been. I don’t know if you noticed, but Republicans didn’t get to play the Jesus card this time around because it is hard to bring up the ten commandments when your candidate spent his life breaking all of them. Trump’s commandments are like the regular commandments with LOL at the end.

Trump has nothing in common with Jesus. Jesus healed the blind, Trump mocks the handicapped. Jesus turned the other cheek, Trump grabs your pussy. Jesus turned water into wine, Trump just whines. The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s wife.’ Trump says, ‘Fine, what about my daughter?'

Jesus saw the good in whores and lepers, but if he met Donald Trump, he’d go, “Sorry, man. That’s a pre-existing condition.”

But I still think we are owed an explanation from the “values voters” as to how they could line up behind Trump, a man who loves to say, “Nobody loves the Bible more than I do!”… but when asked, couldn’t name a single passage. 

White evangelicals go for Trump over Hillary 75% to 14%. But only 19% of Utah Mormons have a favorable view of Orange Hitler. Because, apparently, the Mormons believe you shouldn’t vote for a lying, infantile scumbag just because he’s on your team. And they’re Mormons. They’ll believe almost anything!

But ask one if Trump would make a good president, and they’re like, “Do I look like I was born yesterday?”

Somebody has to tell me why America just made this guy so famous.  This is Ken Bone. One of the undecided voters who asked a question at last Sunday's debate and since then has become a folk hero?

Why? Because after fifteen months of this campaign he's still too stupid to pick Hillary over President Pussy Grabber?

For me the great sadness of this election is knowing that even if Trump doesn't become president, we live in a country where half the people think he should be.

Now, I would really like to ask Mr. Ken Bone, or any undecided voter as these last fifteen months rolled along, there was no breaking point for you? 

Trump saying he would kill the children of terrorists with drone strikes, physically throwing out twelve million Mexicans, banning all Muslims, giving Saudi Arabians nukes, running a scam university, cheating veterans out of charity money, not paying taxes, picking Putin as his favorite leader, not being able to let go of a feud for a whole week with a beauty queen, the impressions of the handicapped? NOTHING? 

Last November when Trump was losing in Iowa, he said in Iowa, to Iowans, ’How stupid are the people of Iowa?’ (plays video of Trump saying it) And now he’s leading in Iowa. So I guess he got his answer. That’s how stupid.

Florida is a climate ravaged state full of old people. And they elected, as governor, a climate change denier, who, as a businessman, oversaw the largest Medicare fraud in history.

What was great about the 50′s was that white men didn’t have to really try. He complains about rigged systems, but the ‘50s was the ultimate rigged system. For example, basketball teams looked like this

Trump was 10 when Elvis burst on the scene, and while other people had made music like that before, only Elvis had the insight to do it while being white

In the 50′s, everyone knew their place. Everyone stayed in their lane ... On his resume a man could list sex harassment as a special skill.

And no one ever asked to check your ‘privilege’. You didn’t have to check your privilege. It was there alright. 

So when Republican’s talk about ‘restoring America,’ ‘making it great again,’ ‘taking their country back’, this is where they want to take it back to: 1959, when life was still in black and white, before the ‘60s came along and ruined everything with color.