Mega BITCH

Jacob Frye + tumblr tags

• edward figures out bella is a vampire way before bella figured out edward was. he is very intuitive, after all
• bella is still a shield. she didn’t know until way after she became a vampire; there were no indicators. she only discovers it upon meeting eleazar for the first time
• she was turned in 1917 after contracting the spanish flu. her father, charles swan, also died from the influenza. in his very last moments, he grabbed carlisle by the collar and used his final breath to say “do for her what only you can do, doc”
• bella, always one to make the best out of a bad situation, settles in well with carlisle. since she can’t read minds she can’t read carlisle’s Emo Thoughts and is therefore much happier than edward was. she is a positive influence on carlisle.
• bella does not have a Dark Period; she isn’t resentful of carlisle. she knows he did what he thought was right and doesn’t let carlisle beat himself up over it
• when esme joins the family she becomes the mother bella never had. bella’s human mother was well-meaning but often not as hands-on as she should’ve been sometimes
• she has never killed a human. she has Super Self Control after all
• her and rose are friends. rose has no reason to be threatened by bella and bella reminds rose a lot of vera. her and bella learn to build cars together
• when emmett comes a long they became Instant Chaos Twins. they use carlisle’s exorbitant wealth to plan the most grandiose pranks on each other. they wrestle often; emmett has the advantage of strength but bella’s slight size makes her difficult to get a good grip on
• alice takes a shining to bella immediately. instead of moving all of bella’s stuff out of her room like she did edward’s, bella returns home to find that her entire wardrobe (formerly just slacks and button-ups) has been replaced with the finest designer items. bella is too quick as a vampire to fall victim to alice’s fashion and makeup ambushes but when she does partake voluntarily she has fun. the three sisters make a dynamic trio
• bella was very intuitive in life so she finds that while she and jasper don’t speak much, they share a lot of comfortable and meaningful silences. they understand each other and form a sort of kinship. they make each other comfortable
• instead of her walls being lined with cd’s and cassettes, bella’s room is essentially just a small library. floor-to-ceiling shelves stuffed to capacity with first editions. she has a special affinity for female-written fiction

favorite character tropes >> Gabriel

• sam gets choked by his hero; Ghandi.
• Castiel, an angel of the lord, insists that he was never in Dean Winchester’s ass.
• Bobby made out with the king of hell.
• Dean chokes on a sausage and dies.
• Sam beheads Paris Hilton.
• Dean goes on a pizza date with Death.
• “FIGHT THE FAERIES!” -Dean Winchester.
• Dean gets abducted by aliens.
• “are we gonna kill this teddy bear?” -Sam
• Dean met his hero, Dr. Sexy, but was able to tell it was not him because Dr. Sexy only wears cowboy boots and would never wear something as unsexy as tennis shoes.
• one thing Dean knows for certain, is that Bert and Ernie are gay.
• Dean barks at the postman, falls in love with a poodle, and has a shouting match with a pigeon.
• “i’ve got genetal herpes.” -Sam
• Dean got inside Sam and drove him around for an episode.
• “no one’s going anywhere till Sam’s got opposable thumbs.” -Dean
• the king of hell was sold for three pigs.
• Sam married God’s ex.