Healing

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: injured character, references to past trauma, briefly talking about drugging

Juno was still kneading the blanket and the monotone sound lulled Kell into a hazy state between sleep and consciousness. He’d do anything to fall asleep again, but the pain in his chest, in his arm, in his bones was slowly flaming up again. It was hard to think. His thoughts were so slippery he could barely grab hold of them. 

He closed his eyes. His head was throbbing and it was almost impossible to resist the quiet panic flowing through him but he couldn’t give in, couldn’t give in, couldn’t … 

Juno

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: injured character, references to past trauma, briefly talking about drugging

Kell was sleeping. He knew he was. His bed was warm and soft and he didn’t want to wake up yet. A low voice rocked him back and forth like a ship on a gentle wave. It was a nice voice. Warm and melodic and it took a while until he understood the words.

It was a story. A children’s story. It sounded vaguely familiar. His father had told him the story back when he’d been young. But the voice didn’t belong to his father. The voice didn’t belong to anyone he knew. 

Those who share our broken hearts

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: A lot of grief, survivor's guilt

A face swam into Jinn’s vision. Eyes green like the sea pierced into him. His vision was blurry. Every breath pinched his lungs and the room didn't stop spinning around him. He curled his legs against his chest like a shield but the dizziness was getting worse with every movement. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to his knees.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said again and again until a hand touched his shoulder. He winced and lifted his head to look at her but her face was still calm as far as he could see.

“It’s okay,” a woman said in a low voice, gently brushing the hair out of his face. “You are safe here.” 

Clipped Wings

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: manhandling, grief, reference to past trauma

Jinn’s feet hurt but he kept walking. Jagged shadows followed him and he couldn’t stop looking back every few steps. He kept himself close to the side of the road, hoping they wouldn’t notice him and he felt so stupid and small. Shadows weren’t alive. They couldn’t move on their own. 

Until they did, a small voice in his mind insisted. 

Dead End

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: injured character, vomiting, blood, references to past trauma

Something was wrong.

Kell wanted to fall asleep again. He was so tired.

But a voice inside of him was yelling in alarm.

Something was wrong.

Everything was wrong.

Lost

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: violence, mugging

Jinn ran as fast as he could. His chest hurt but he couldn’t stop running. Darkness was surrounding him and he felt like it was watching him, following him. And so he ran through the foreign city, slalomed through the alleyways until he wasn’t even sure where he’d come from. Finally he couldn’t breathe anymore and he had to stop.

The streets were quiet and dark and Jinn’s breathe was too loud. He tried to suppress his breaths but it was impossible.

Suddenly there was a faint sound, almost like a pebble rolling over the pavement.

Slowly he turned around as fear settled in his stomach. 

He wasn’t alone.

Memory of Future Dreams

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: injured character

The soft whispering of voices sounded like music. Rising and falling. Rising and falling. Unthreatening, even calming. Kell didn’t understand what they were saying, and he didn’t want to. He wasn’t even sure if they were real or if he was dreaming. All he knew was, as long as he was asleep he was safe.

Slowly Kell drifted back to sleep but somewhere deep inside of him concern stirred. So subtle, he didn’t even notice at first. 

Something was wrong.

Be brave

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: agoraphobia (?) and anxiety

Jinn’s heart raced as he hurried around the corner. His steps were echoing from the walls so loudly he feared Oryn would hear it. 

One of us has to make it out alive.

Now one of them was dead. 

"One of us has to make it out alive"

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: captivity, choking, violence, blood, betrayal, stabbing, manhandling, multiple whumpees, multiple whumpers, character is in a dying condition

As soon as Kell was out of the view of the audience, hands grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the wall. Oryn’s fingers dug painfully into his skin, pinning him against the cold stone.

Last Chance to Fly

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: just a lot of anxiety, one mean threat, and plans that aren’t really thought through

Kell’s stomach felt like he’d swallowed ice. His limbs were numb and cold and didn’t feel like they belonged to him and no matter how fiercely he rubbed the heel of his hand over his face, he could feel the General’s touch as if he was still there.

He had to find Jinn. It was the only thought he allowed himself to have. He didn’t think about Oryn or the General or the piece of paper he was clutching in his hand. He could worry about them later when Jinn was safe.

He breathed against the pressure in his chest. Every inhale pinched like needles and his heart was racing as he hurried through the theatre. There weren’t many places Jinn could be, especially since the show was about to start. Faces passed Kell but he hardly paid them any attention. He had to find Jinn before it was too late. Maybe it already was but he had to try. He had to try to get him out of here before …

“Do you remember me?”

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: captivity, traumatic memories

Kell pressed his back against the wall as a group of dancers squeezed past him through the narrow corridor. He hated the chaos right before a performance was about to start, but it was a welcome distraction of all the emotions tying a knot in the pit of his stomach.

Not your Fault

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next    

CW: captivity, mention of injuries, references to past trauma, angst, self-harm (as in preventing injuries from healing)

The pain throbbed hot and sharply through Kell’s bones. He closed his eyes as a wave of nausea washed over him, but it made everything worse so he blinked his eyes open again. For a moment the room spun around him until his eyes were able to focus on his surroundings. 

Favours

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: captivity, drugging, non-consensual hair touching

Kell was waiting for the right moment to slip through the door. His heart was hammering in his chest as his gaze swapped between the door and Oryn. The door and Oryn. The door and Oryn. 

He was still talking to his guests, his laugh resonating all the way over to Kell. The sound was enough to make his stomach churn. It wasn’t the only laugh in the room full of people. They were laughing and talking and drinking and it all blurred together to a cacophony that hurt in his ears. 

It was a miracle no one had spotted Kell yet. His gaze flipped to the door again. He just wanted to leave the party and get some rest. He’d get in trouble for sure, but it would be worth it. Probably. Definitely. Maybe. He was still debating when a hand fell on his shoulder, and he spun around.

The Song of a Sparrow

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next      

CW: captivity, aftermath of torture, panic attack, self-harm (as in preventing injuries from healing), wound cleaning, nightmares, character death (in nightmare)

The cake was soft and almost too sweet. Kell took another bite and closed his eyes as the pastry melted on his tongue. It was his favourite. After all this time he still knew exactly what it tasted like. He still remembered how he and Sabea used to argue over the last piece every time.

He wondered where she was. He turned around just as a soft breeze gently rustled the trees. Then he heard the voices and suddenly his heart started to ache. He knew these voices. Weeks and months and years he’d hoped and prayed to hear them again. So why did they make him so sad?

Hope is a Dangerous Thing

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: captivity, aftermath of trauma, everyone is sad, confused, hurt, scared and generally unhappy

Days blurred into each other, and Jinn did his best to stay busy.

Nights were harder. Nights were impossible.

And the lack of sleep was starting to get a problem. His head was throbbing, and his left eye didn’t stop twitching and he had trouble to remember his lines. He had tried to catch some sleep during daylight but then he’d been late for a rehearsal and the punishment had been worse than his eternal exhaustion.

Alone again

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next    

CW: captivity, nightmares, grief, self-blame, references to past traumata

It was late already but Jinn couldn’t sleep.

The shadows moved around him as if they were alive. They whispered his name. Again and again.

They are just shadows. They can’t talk.

He knew that. He knew it was just the wind outside. He knew the shadows couldn’t hurt him. Not here. Not now. But still, he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing them reach for him with their long claws and ...

It’s over

Previous   || Masterlist ||  Next

CW: captivity, aftermath of torture, injuries

Kell sat silent except for the trembles in his limbs. He dug his fingers into his palms, but the shaking wouldn’t stop. It was deep in his bones, and he wasn’t sure it would ever stop.

Everything ached. He couldn’t even look down at his own body. He couldn’t look at the scars, the half-healed wounds, the thick bandage covering his left hand. Looking at them made everything too real. He couldn’t deal with them right now, when there were so many open wounds in his heart.

He wasn’t alone. They were standing only a few steps away but their voices seemed to come from a long way off.

He knew they were talking about him. If he’d paid attention, he would probably understand what they were saying, but it didn’t matter anyway.

Kell wished he would just pass out. He didn’t want to think anymore. He didn’t want to feel anymore.