A Collection of Things

2010. A Japanese woman sits down to take photos of her shiba inu dog for her blog. Suddenly, a man leaps out of a time portal. "Sorry, I can't let you do this. I cannot tell you why." She asks: "Is it forbidden knowledge from the future?" He sighs: "No, it's just too fucking stupid to explain."

I used to do cross country in high school, and there was this guy on the team that was wonderful. Great guy. But his advice to everyone that asked how to get good was to run 20k a day.

If you don't run, I'll just tell you, most people's bodies cannot take that kind of abuse. No matter how much you train, you will not be able to run 20k a day. It's like how you can't train to make your cuts heal faster. You recover as fast as you recover. So while a big part of what made this guy so succesful was the dedication and mental toughness needed to actually run 20k a day, an equally big part was that he healed like fucking Wolverine. And that's fine, but it would've been nice if he knew that and stopped telling new guys to commit suicide by jogging.

Different guy on the team ran like, 5-6k a day, which actually isn't all that much. His problem when he gave advice was that he didn't really get that 5-6k a day doesn't generally produce elite results for most people. He was lucky in the sense that he didn't have to work all that hard to get great results, and unlucky in the sense that if he pushed himself much further than that, he fell apart.

I think about those two whenever I get advice from succesful people. The very things that make them outliers also make their advice useless to most people. Worse, they're often outliers on totally separate ends of the same spectrum, so their advice will be contradictory.

An activate charcoal AND grapefruit smoothie called "what will your meds do ;)"

Actually its a juice

Wait no this was a joke

you're on antidepressants and you drink this you meet the devil

The 'women can always sense a man nearby' r*dfem narrative has always been incredibly funny to me. If anything, I'd say that the opposite is true.

Before I transitioned I had three different lesbians tell me that I was really fucking up their whole lesbian thing by being the only man they'd ever been attracted to.

On top of that, the number of times I heard, 'you're nothing like other men' directly coincides with every woman I've ever dated.

From this data I can conclude that dykes can sense other dykes even if absolutely no one knows what's happening.

I should also note that pretransition I dated exclusively bisexual women. I literally could not stand dating straight women, and they had absolutely 0 interest in me.

I forgot where I was going with this, but bisexual women, I love you so much.

When I still thought I was bi (I'm a lesbian) I dated a statistically improbable number of "guys" who eventually came out as women.

I find it so fucking funny that none of us knew and yet there we were!! It honestly helped me piece together that I'm not actually attracted to men azgcgdfjj

When I came out to one of my exes (we're still on good terms), she took a long hard look at me, and then said, "You know, this actually makes a lot of sense, really."

(The reason we broke up was that the relationship felt awkward. "It feels like I'm dating a girl," she'd said at the time.)

as a trans man i dated someone who normally only ever went with women and was very apologetic about this to me in case it somehow invalidated my gender identity. anyway after six months of fucking me through the mattress they started T. so not only was my gender not invalidated, it was contagious.

i love adhd. i have a lot to do at work today. i take my meds. i open the word document. i immediately misspell “benzodiazepines.” i go on tumblr to post “benzodiazepenis….” for the mutualés. and then it’s 45 minutes later and ive caught up on tumblr and checked the weather and read a fic and texted an ex and ordered new pens and looked up a recipe for chicken pot pie and posted about adhd and done zero work.

you CANNOT leave this in the tags that's so perfect and accurate

Yeagh for fuckin real...

thanks to all the dawntrail criticism, i’m rapidly learning that what other people think of as “pacing issues,” i think of as necessary time spent getting acquainted with a new environment, its history and the folks that live there. what they felt was a slog, i felt was the equivalent of going on vacation and submersing yourself in rich, previously unknown cultures.

so basically what i mean to say is i have a true adventurer’s spirit and everyone who gripes about this expansion’s pacing is a loser. (SORT OF a joke. but also not really. but also really. but also n)

No joke at all. Maybe if something is a slog to you, check what kind of mindset you're entering into it with.

do not go gentle into that good night

be a bit of a bitch about it

btw body horror is stuff that doesnt naturally occur and is used to scare ppl, like extra eyes, animal parts on a human, a mouth opening in the stomach, not. disabled people’s bodies lmao.

This post was a plea to stop treating visibly disabled people as monstrous because of the differences their disabilities have caused. It was not an invitation for people to argue what is and is not body horror. It was a call out for dehumanization, not the horror genre.

bringing this back around for IFEW (international face equality week)!! take this time to educate yourself on disfigurement and similar things, and take the steps necessary to become a more accepting and understanding person!! disfigurement and disability is not something to be afraid of!!

Fungiture, Paul Octavius

i love 90s television all these high quality fabrics got me so turned on i almost passed out

boat

recently we were out on a hilltop taking photos of the comet and suddenly some car's headlights blind us from across the bay. literally four miles away.

who the fuck is out here with these nuclear fusion powered headlights. who puts naval searchlights on their fucking toyota tacoma.

Sodus Point, east of Rochester, NY

mystery solved

the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.

I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.

But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.

Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it up—oh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.

Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.

Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no way—oh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.

You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monolo—

and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see

my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.

even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.

then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!

It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.

And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.

It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?

ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content

this is cracking me up because this is so long and all true and they skipped Sadu 100% getting off on you beating the shit out her (but at least she winds up with a girl friend in the long run) and whatever weird thing Fey Ul is doing, and didn't even touch on class/job quests.

like and subscribe?? ♿

This version of the progress flag legitimately looks so nice

Gilbert baker rainbow, huge intersex circle, the design is cluttered but in a good way 10/10

[ID: A version of the progress pride flag with a large purple intersex ring outlined in gold, looping through pink, blue, brown, and black chevrons on the side, which have a base of white. The horizontal stripes are: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue, and purple. End ID.]

It's happening the morphing into Ohio

Girls. That's the original image. We've come full circle. It's always just been the state of Ohio

Nidstinien for Sabrina ty ty