Questioning whether or not someone on disability benefits actually deserves them is literally always ableist, because you are assuming your limited knowledge of someone else’s situation is more important than what they, their doctors and government officials know about their health.

You are not helping disabled people when you talk about ‘fakers abusing the system.’ You are contributing to a culture of doubt, and you are keeping us from being able to live life without shame.

More over, I don’t give one shit if 99% of the people are abusing the system, if the limitations you are putting on disability services stop event JUST ONE disabled person from being able to claim, fuck you. 

ableism:

you can reserve a space on the train for your bicycle in the default online booking form.

to get a wheelchair space, i have to book the ticket then exchange several emails with the railway company, as if the concept of wheelchairs is entirely new to them. sometimes there’s no email address and they try to insist i call them, which is inaccessible to so many people. then they demand i show up half an hour early, at which point they typically act as if they’ve never heard of you or they have a wheelchair ready because no one told them i have my own. when i arrive at my destination, i cross my fingers that anyone has bothered to call ahead for someone to get the ramp out, and usually have to resort to asking another passenger to flag down a member of staff. i leave long after all the other passengers and crew. and don’t even get me started on airplanes.

now apply this principle to literally everything.

oh and the only reason i have to do any of this is because they didn’t build the trains to be level with the platforms. i only need their “assistance” (literally just a ramp) because they didn’t factor me in in the first place. all that effort, MY effort, for “help” i shouldn’t need.

being disabled is so much WORK. contacting everywhere you might go in advance to find out if it’s accessible, then you get there and “oh there’s just a few steps” or you have to call them on some number so they can get the one guy who has the key to the rickety elevator but oh wait he’s on vacation, or they’re using the disabled toilet as a storage closet. everything i do comes with layers of effort that abled people can’t even imagine (i know, i used to be one).

now bear in mind that on a good day i have like 25% of the energy of an average person my age. i need most of that to, you know, eat and so forth. so having to spend half my energy dealing with this type of bullshit renders so much of the world inaccessible to me, because i often physically cannot jump through all these fucking hoops to like… enter a building or get on a train.

D.I.P. (Disabled In Public)

Sometimes I really hate being Disabled In Public. Like…. there’s a definitive difference between being disabled and in public and Disabled In Public, and it’s hard to articulate to people who don’t have to experience this phenomenon. Like, yesterday I was at the airport, flying home for summer break. I’m sitting in my wheelchair at the gate, waiting to pre-board, and the gate check woman comes up to me, bends down and puts her hands on her knees, and says, “Gosh! You’re so independent!” I’m 23 years old, I live on my own across the country, and I’m a fucking adult out in public. Yes. I’m independent. How kind of you to notice.

And this happens all the time! I’m fine with people complementing my canes, or the flowers on my chair in passing, but coming up to me, speaking down to me, infantilizing me…. it’s all part of being Disabled In Public. The second I’m out in public I become some sort of attraction to able bodied people. Walking (or rolling) clickbait. And none of my able-bodied friends or family quite understand why I get so frustrated, or why I snap at people. I was at the mall with my dad yesterday, in my wheelchair, and at least three people stopped me to complement my wheelchair. Which is fine. Except for the third woman, who said in some sort of weird baby talk, “Aw, who did that for you? That was so nice of them!” Uh…. I did that myself. Because, again, I am an adult.

And after this my dad goes, “Gosh, does this happen all the time? It must be so annoying…” to which I’m about to be delighted, before he continues, “…but you’re kind of asking for it by decorating your chair.”

No, I’m not asking for it. I’m accessorizing. People don’t stop everyone else on the street to infantilize them for their accessories. It only happens when you’re Disabled In Public.

And I didn’t really mean to write some kind of essay on the subject, but honestly. Why can’t people leave us alone? I’m not a child, I’m not inspiration porn, I’m just a fucking person out in the world trying to live my fucking life without random people interrupting me to make me feel awkward and singled out and Disabled.

• disabled people deserve to express themselves • disabled people shouldn’t have to fight/be forced to become “normal.” • disabled people shouldn’t have to feel like a burden • disabled people should be allowed to love themselves, without being told something is wrong. • disabled people should be able to be proud of their accomplishments • disabled people shouldn’t feel forced to hold themselves to able-bodied standards

Why Am I In a Wheelchair? It's Really None of Your Damn Business

The following excerpt is taken from an actual conversation I had with a random stranger who sat down next to me and my wife at a local Seattle bar.

Yes, this was an actual conversation I had. At a bar. With a complete stranger. The sad thing is, this shit happens to me all the time: on the bus, waiting for the crosswalk to change, you name it. People feel that have some inalienable right to my medical history in order to have their morbid curiosity satisfied.

Most of the time, I don’t outright refuse to answer questions. For me, it’s less about being polite and more about not coming off as one of those “angry cripples” who “needs Jesus”, “thicker skin”, or to “be stronger than that”. Apparently, if you get mad at someone for asking wildly inappropriate questions about why you’re in a wheelchair, you’re just mad about being in a wheelchair.

Let me be blunt here, random stranger on the bus or at the bar: you asking me about my personal medical history, or acting like my appearing in public is some goddamn miracle worthy of a stupid grin or you stopping and telling me how “inspiring” I am is some ableist fucking bullshit and needs to stop. Every time you come up to me and start asking personal questions or treating me like I’m special for having the audacity to do the same things you do every goddamn day just reminds me how uncomfortable my very existence makes you. You literally have no idea how to handle the fact that I’m in your space so you awkwardly blurt out “Does your penis work okay?!” in an attempt to make conversation.

And for the record, I have as much right to be angry about your invasion of my privacy as anyone else without being told that I need to “have thicker skin” or that I’m “stronger than that”. Fuck you. I’m strong enough to stand my ground and tell you where to step off and I think that’s plenty strong enough.

Disability doesn't come with extra time and energy

I’ve heard a lot of advocates of inclusion say things like “kids with disabilities work twice as hard as everyone else” or “my employees with Down’s syndrome never come in late or take a day off.”

This sounds like praise, but it isn’t.

The time disabled people spend working twice as hard as everyone else has to come from somewhere.

There are reasons why kids aren’t in school every waking moment. There is a reason why vacation time exists and why it’s normal to be late occasionally.

People need rest. People need leisure time. People have lives and needs and can’t do everything.

Being disabled doesn’t erase the need for down time. Being disabled doesn’t erase the need for play, or for connections to other people.

Working twice as hard as everyone else all the time isn’t sustainable. Praising disabled people for doing unsustainable things is profoundly destructive.

People with disabilities should not have to give up on rest, recreation, and relationships in order to be valued. We have limited time and energy just like everyone else, and our limitations need to be respected.

It is not right to expect us to run ourselves into the ground pretending to be normal. We have the right to exist in the world as we really are.

Wheelchairs aren’t furniture.

• Don’t move them unless the wheelchair user in question says you can. Even if we’re not in them at the time! Shout-out to the nurse who, during my last hospital trip, tried to put my wheelchair in the nurse’s station, thus effectively stopping me from going TO THE TOILET without asking someone. And, of course, various shout-outs to people who thought *I* was furniture and moved my chair while I was in it.

• Don’t lean on them unless you have permission from the wheelchair user in question. Again, they aren’t FURNITURE. They’re part of us. Lean on stuff that’s stuff, not stuff that’s people.

• If you walk into someone’s wheelchair, while someone is in that wheelchair, you’re walking into a person. You’re jolting us, shaking us, and potentially causing us pain (I have chronic conditions, and YOU ARE HURTING ME). Do what you do anytime you walk into someone, and apologise. It doesn’t need to be any more than, “Oop, sorry,” it doesn’t have to be a big thing (please don’t make it a big thing) but ACKNOWLEDGE US jesus christ this is so alienating. I get walked into all the time and excepting my loved ones I can’t even remember the last time I got an apology.

Wheelchairs are not furniture. They’re assistive devices. They are, for all intents and purposes, part of us and it is frankly incredibly rude not to treat them as such.

I can't believe I have to explain this but

If someone with chronic illness seems cranky, it’s probably because they’re in pain.

How cheery would *you* be after days, weeks, months or even years of unrelenting discomfort?

Considering how many people whine when they get bruises or headcolds, it never ceases to amaze me how it comes as a shock to some that when I’m having a bad episode I’m not in the mood for putting up with bullshit.

PSA: Some wheelchair users can *GASP* walk

Wheelchairs are used for many disabilities; it could be very painful to walk, one may lack the strength to walk, have hyperflexibility, shortness of lung capacity, fragility of joints, muscles, skin etc. 

REBLOG so people STOP harassing wheelchair users when they stand up and even WALK out their chairs in public.

I hardly ever add comments to posts but i feel the need to add on. A couple years ago i was in a wheel chair because of my chronic illness. I went to an amusement park with my school and each time we’d go on a ride the people who work there must ask if i was able to walk onto the ride. A lot of people found this offensive (my sister is working at disney world and she told me that whenever there is a wheel chair the cast members must ask if they are able to walk.) I of course told them i was able to walk and when i got out of my wheel chair i got so many bad glares. After that field trip i was bullied the rest of my highschool life because people thought i was faking it. It got to the point where these girls from church ended up breaking my wheel chair. Please please stop harassing people who use wheelchairs.

There are many times when due to breathing difficulities I’ve had to use a wheelchair or motor cart in the store or other places. That doesn’t mean I can’t walk or others can’t walk but it does mean we can’t go far and we do need the assistance. It’s no ones business judging people who need the help. No one should feel bad for using what the need when they need it.

I grew up with a bone deformity in my feet in ankles that was not visible to the eye and I was still able to walk. After walling for any more than about 30 ft my feet would begin to hurt so bad I could barely function. My family took a trip to disney world when I was 9 and I needed to use a wheel chair. I specifically remember hearing a woman scoff and growl about how lazy and disgraceful I was but also my family for raising such a lazy child. And this was just because I got out of my chair to go hug Tinker Bell. Please stop harassing wheelchair users who can still walk. You made an 8 year olds first trip to disney a lot worse than it should have been.

Keep telling your stories ❤

I remember a trip to the museum back when I was 10 and my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome was just starting to spread. I hadn’t been able to be in school much, so I was so excited to finally be able to be a part of a normal, exciting day with all of my friends. I hesitantly borrowed a museum wheelchair in lieu of using crutches; I felt very vulnerable and sort of embarrassed needing to be pushed around, but I wanted so so badly to be a part of the big day. After a couple hours, I set the wheelchair aside to go to the bathroom, and then lowered myself into it when I got back out. A museum guard went fucking ham, telling me I was lazy and entitled. I hadn’t fully explained my disability to a lot of my classmates, so when they gathered around to watch the shit show, I was so crushed and embarrassed. Because of that one incident, for years, I was hesitant to ask for extra help when I needed it and I ended up worsening my condition long-term. Respect ALL wheelchair users. Treat everyone you come across with respect. You are not always entitled to an explanation.

Gonna reblog this every time I see some foolishness on or offline about someone thinking a wheelchair user is “faking” because they stood up and walked some. This time it was a YouTube video and the comment section, a curse on both their houses!!!!

Dear folks who think these sorts of posts don’t do anything: A few years back, one of these kinds of posts was circulating in response to a that meme about “fakers” with the woman standing from her wheelchair. The folks talking there really opened my eyes to how common it is for a wheelchair user to still be able to walk (this despite the fact that I’d used one temporarily when flying with a bad knee injury and that my gran needs one occasionally when her arthritis is bad). Before that, it wasn’t really something I’d thought about much, and I admit I’d made those jokes and shared those memes out of ignorance and societal ableism/fatphobia.

A few months later, I happened to be with someone in the store and we saw a guy in a wheelchair get up to reach something. The person I was with was really offended and started making some fatphobic comment about how he was probably “just too lazy” to walk. I relied, “How do you know? There’s a lot of things that can make you need a wheelchair that aren’t paralysis. Heck, I used one when I was fifteen and had a really bad sprained knee because the airport wouldn’t let crutches past security and I couldn’t walk.”  “Oh. I didn’t really think of it that way.”  “It’s ok, just… do think of it that way next time. I can tell you from experience using one of those is a total pain in the ass. Trust me, he wouldn’t use it unless he needs it.”

Telling your story and how that shit affects you in real life has real-world consequences. So keep telling your stories. You make the world a better place because at least some of the folks reading them take it to heart.

I broke my foot a couple of years back and eventually found out I had a condition that made the bones in my feet grow excessively

My sister and I eventually got  surgery for this condition and ever since I’ve had chronic pain in my feet. The scars are mostly gone and you’d never know how bad I hurt unless I say so.

There was a day my family and I were shopping and I moved into the store to get a mobile cart. The store associate by the door looked at me and said

 “Those are for people who really need it.”

I looked her straight in the eye and said “ I know.”

I used the cart the entire trip and we even stopped at Customer Service to talk  to a manager.  I found out that this wasn’t the first time that particular associate has done this before.

Own your illness or condition. No one has any right to tell you that you’re not in pain or that you can’t use what you need. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or a reason. Need a wheelchair? Ask for it. Need help or support ? Ask for it. Yes it’s hard and it’s embarrassing sometimes. But treat your body like your best friend. If you’d fight tooth and nail to make sure they’re safe, happy and comfortable do the same for yourself.

Take care of yourself.

Yeah, I’ve had to use public wheelchairs a lot and people look so angry if you dare to have fun while using them too. And if they see you’re young you already get mixed looks of pity and disgust. If they see you move out of it the feeling of a million eyes glaring at you is almost unbearable

Lol what is it with people that make them see smiling youth in a wheelchair that makes them so angry? They’d rather us lack confidence, keep our heads down, be sad?

Wheelchair Resources

t can be extremely overwhelming to need/begin using a wheelchair. Resources and advice from disabled people can be hard to find. Here is a collection of helpful links and mini-essays from people with lived experience!

please feel free to reblog and add your own links and advice

parents not believing their disabled child is actually disabled and forcing them to go beyond their limits is abuse.

parents calling their disabled kid a burden or a problem to them is abuse

parents using the disabled kids story to their advantage and making it more about themselves is abuse.

stop excusing abuse just because the victim is disabled.

 parents knowing their child is disabled and still forcing the beyond their limits.

The nerve!….This goes out to all the spoonies.

Read this:

“My name is Emelie Crecco, I’m 20 years old and I have cystic fibrosis. CF affects the lungs (as of many organs in the body) because of this I have a handicapped sticker. I’m not one to “abuse” the sticker, meaning I use it when I’m having a “bad day” (some days its a little harder to breathe). Today was HOT so I needed to use my sticker. I was running errands all day around my town, I pulled into a handicapped spot, placed the sticker in my mirror and continued into the store. Upon returning to my car I found a note written by someone, it said “Shame on you, you are NOT handicapped. You have taken a space that could have been used by an actually handicapped person. You are a selfish young lady.” I was LIVID. How can someone be so ignorant and cowardly? They clearly saw me walk out of my car, why not approach me? Not all handicaps are visible. I would love for you to share this story. It would help spread awareness for CF, but it would help open people’s minds to what handicapped really is. Thank you for your time” ~Emelie Crecco

A friend of mine fell over 20 feet and basically broke half his ribs, punctured his lung, broke his arm in three places that required many surgeries to fix and messed up a nerve in his leg. He had to walk with a cane for a long time after it and some lady in a restaurant thought he was just walking with a cane for the hell of it and she ripped it from his hands and grabbed his messed up arm and shook him and told him he was an awful human being for pretending to be handicapped. What the fuck people?

This is what real ableism looks like.

I have ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disorder which causes my body to attack my colon, and I qualify for one of those stickers. I’m scared to get one, though, because I look healthy and whole. -Orange

A mutual friend of mine’s mother has severe fibromyalgia (that gives her a handicapped pass) and as she was walking to her car after buying her groceries, a man actually lunged at her and started yelling at her about her “not looking handicapped”. It left her mother shaking and crying, of course, and it just makes me so angry how awful and ignorant some people can be. 

Not all handicaps are visible

Can I just pin this sentence on every lamppost all over the planet please

Fucking assholes

this is important.

If someone can lift 100 pounds, would you expect them to carry it with them everywhere they go?

If someone can sprint 20 miles per hour, would you expect them to be able to maintain that speed for a long distance?

Of course you wouldn’t. Being able to do something does not mean that you can do it for a long period of time.

So if a wheelchair user can stand to reach something or walk a short distance, why do you assume they don’t need the wheelchair?

PSA

Listen… if you’re going to go to a public bathroom and you’re abled bodied… for the love of all that is holy don’t use the ONE accessible stall to text or do your makeup for 10mins when EVERY OTHER STALL IS OPEN. Like just… don’t be that guy ok? And don’t assume it’s okay because there aren’t any disabled people around. Don’t. Do. it.

If You’re Gonna Make Something Wheelchair Accessible, Don’t Make it a Thing

Here’s some examples awkward accessibility being a thing:

Your at a hotel that has a lift to get you from one sub-floor to another, but the lift can only be unlocked and operated by one specific person that the hotel now has to go find. Sure, they’ve made the entrance to the sub-floor is accessible, but now it’s a thing.

The buses are wheelchair accessible but the driver has to stop the bus, take 30 seconds to lower the goddamn ramp, move passengers out of their seats, hook up the straps and then secure you in the bus. Sure, they’ve made the busses accessible but now it’s a thing.

The restaurant has an accessible entrance, but it’s past the trash room and through the kitchen. Sure, the restaurant is accessible, but now it’s an insulting thing.

Here’s some great examples of accessibility not being a thing:

The train to the airport pulls up flush with the platform. I board with everyone else and sit wherever the fuck I want. Riding the train is accessible and not a thing.

In Portland, I press a button the side of the streetcar and a ramp automatically extends at the same time the door opens. I board in the same amount of time as everyone else. This is not a thing.

I get that it is difficult to design for wheelchair accessibility, but folks need to start considering the overall quality of the experience versus just thinking about meeting the minimum requirements.

Most people seem to believe that disabled people can be divided into two types: the “completely helpless” disabled people, and the “not really disabled” disabled people. That’s why when you give any evidence that you’re not the first type, they assume you must be the second type.