Dog On A Swing

the human stress response seems so maladaptive!

To be fair 99% of our evolutionary stress response was meant to deal with far more immediately conclusive scenarios than the tedious bullshit we put up with these days.

very very slow tigers are chasing me

not to leave a serious comment on a silly post but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about stress was to SLEEP but secondly, when overwhelmed, lay in a bed and intentionally hold all your muscles clenched. clench EVERYTHING. hold it for a few seconds, then let go. It tricks your animal fight-or-flight monkey brain into thinking it had, and won, a fight, and some of the stress response will leave you

#turn a slow tiger into a fast tiger with this fucked up trick

“Very very slow tigers are chasing me” is the most hysterical way I’ve ever heard my state of being described

Humans are persistence predators and then created deadlines and out-persistence predator’d ourselves

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

Sorry I get you're probably like a zookeeper or some shit but for a hot second I was thinking “They put a tortoise to work???”

when hayao miyazaki said that true love was two people inspiring each other to live…recognizing just how hard living is, putting one foot in front of the other every day, how easy it is to lose our passion for it…… that’s the real shit

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

rb to be rinsed and squeezed

btw, the realization that you can just not say shit about topics you’re not qualified to talk about is both very liberating and one I think alot of you need to make.

like fr, being online doesn’t mean you’re obligated to comment on every little thing, you can just shut the fuck up if you don’t know what you’re talking about

[A closeup of text on a page from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, stating:

“52. You are not compelled to form any opinion about this matter before you, nor to disturb your peace of mind at all. Things in themselves have no power to extort a verdict from you.”

There is then added text, in the form of slanted, reddish larger print with a drop shadow, that states:

“Marcus Aurelius has already released you from the obligation to have a take”]

me being mutuals with someone but not talking to them is the same as a cat existing in the same room as a person and considers it socializing. me liking and reblogging posts is like the cat purring

4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun

its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly

Reblog if you want to be annihilated by the physics-defying supersonic Beethovenian explosion

“Destroy me, This way.”

40 minutes.

This is how Vanya killed people in umbrella academy

this feels relevant

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

[ID: Tweet From Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) on dec 15th, 2021: "no new years resolutions. it is the circumstances turn to improve" /End ID]

Unmute !

A tiger bursting to freedom after being rescued from a poacher’s snare in the Russian Far East.

Is Russia even real

I think it is necessary for me to transcribe what she’s saying because it is EXACTLY how I babytalk to my cat:

“Oh Stepa! So little – little Stepa! My little kiss, where’s my little kiss?? Where are my little fingers? Where are my little legs? Where are my little paws? Stepa!” *shakes his paw* “Say hello! Hello my little one! Hello!” *lies down on him* “Oh how nice, how warm. Good boy…”

to be clear, this bear is named the russian equivalent of “steve”