Joel Miller x OFC - Untitled

Ok, so I'm trying to venture into writing fics for Joel Miller because I became obsessed with Pedro Pascal and I had no idea how tf that happened, lmaooo... it resulted into sooooooo many plot bunnies and scenarios I'm about to explode so I decided to share them here in tumblr first before I post them in AO3, like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so fvcking lame. Anyway, here's the plot bunny:

Synopsis, or something: Joel was tasked to smuggle a cargo out of the Boston QZ, but imagine his shock when the package turned out to be someone - the woman he had slept with a few weeks ago; the same one he mindlessly fvcked and felt guilty about afterwards but shoved back at the deepest pit of his subconscious. He didn't want the job, but he wanted the payment, and despite his better judgement, he took it with practiced callousness and detachment. He didn't know how much it was going to turn his life upside down. Again.

Some relative plot, bear with me: Yana really needed some medicine for her friend, and considering the ones she needed were hard to come by in the QZ, she was forced to resort to dealing with one of the best smugglers in the area.   She was ready to bribe the man with a hefty ration cards when he took one look at her and said, "I want a blow job."   For a moment, Yana was so shocked that she could only stare at the guy. And then she blurted out, "What? B-but I'm pregnant! Y-you really want a pregnant woman to s- do that to you?"   The man only laughed. "I just think it'd be hot to have a pregnant lady on her knees sucking me off. I'm so pleased you came to me."   Yana didn't want to, but she was desperate. So, she agreed to meet the man that night, dreading it so much she went back home feeling sick to her stomach.   Of course, the man thought it would be such a nice idea to brag about his new deal to his smuggler friends, which was very wrong of him because the news reached the ears of one Joel Miller. The guy didn't even know that he had just signed his death warrant that day.   That night, Yana came to the meeting place feeling all sorts of nervous, fighting the urge to turn back and run away. When she reached the man's hideout, she was surprised when he opened the door only a fraction and thrust the packet of medicine in her hand, briefly telling her that he'd changed his mind and she can have the medicine - free of charge. Yana grew more nervous, knowing nothing was ever free in the QZ, so she asked if he expected her to pay in any way other than what they've originally agreed upon, but the guy quickly shook his head and stammered out an unintelligible excuse before shutting the door to her face.   Yana stared at the door for a few minutes, tears edging the rims of her eyes, before she walked away, clutching the precious medicine in her chest.   Inside the hideout, the man turned around in fear to the shadow looming behind him and said, "I-I've already done what you've told me. I'm really s-sorry, I didn't know she was you gi-"   He was unable to finish his sentence as Joel thrust his knife in his throat, twisting and then plunging it deeper, watching the life leave his eyes.

AO3 just fvcking leaves this notice and I'm already panicking like what do you mean you're leaving??? I know you comin' back but what imma do in 10 hours I NEED my fanfics please don't leeeaaavvvveeeeee 😭😭😭😭😭

I wanna start writing Joel Miller fics but I don't know where or how to start I hate this so much

It's so frustrating how you're so excited to read a very specific scene in a fanfic AND IT'S NOT JUST FVCKING WRITING ITSELF