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Hi, I’m E! Indian, 22, Political Science graduate but currently preparing for UPSC with Philosophy optional (long story short Political Science was a mistake and Philosophy was my “true calling”).

This blog would be a mix of my desk pictures and some positive—or borderline positive—thoughts I might have. Because this is Tumblr and I fully embrace the tag of “girlfailure” 👍🔥 (emojis are for comedic effect).

As for my other interests and hobbies, I like reading, writing, discovering new music and I used to play Genshin before I deleted my account. But I am interested in its characters and lore so Genshin also counts as an interest. Trying to get back into anime (Evangelion I will watch you one day).

Uhhh… have a silly cat! Because I’m not sure how to end this.

📺 Currently watching: Arcane

🎵 Current music fixation: Tamino and Beyonce

📖 Currently reading: The Collected Works of Kahlil Gibran and the Rig Veda

Another Geography chapter complete. Did 7 hours 30 minutes total today, mostly because Arcane. I'm so excited!!

Also I get surprised with more notes than 10 on my posts because they're all the same essentially. I have no incentive to change around my setup at all and I barely go out haha 😅

Current music obsessions

Done with Koppen classification! ☁️

Time spent studying: 6 hours 24 minutes

I miss going to regular academic institutions. Hopefully I actually clear this exam and I can take a two year study break to go back to university

Just putting this here as part of my journal but as someone who lost their entire sense of self and what it means to work hard to get what you want, one of the most important lessons I learned yesterday was that I'm in a limbo. Staying in a limbo would necessarily mean that the self you build up despite a permanent flow of change would be destroyed and carried away by this flow. There's no "finding yourself" in the limbo and that's an overblown myth. I need to establish myself as a financially secure person first- which is particularly important to me as a woman- and "fly by using my own wings" instead of depending on others to find what I am in reality. Feeling sorry for myself for being "left behind" wasn't the answer. Gathering pitiful responses wasn't the answer. I have a certain duty, as does everyone. It's formed by my circumstances yes but I cannot choose everything and let life be handed on a golden platter to me.

It really opened my eyes. This wave I'm caught up in of being overly soft on myself might cost me severely. But it ends now. I want to leave that limbo for my own self first

Got a reality check from my mom today (she was right), started liking Geography and Kashmiri Kahwa again, and excitedly waiting for Arcane season 2 act 2. Except I forgot it drops on Saturday and not tomorrow. But I was planning to study 7 hours tomorrow and watch Arcane as a reward 🧍‍♀️. Oh well.

Also got obsessed with Miquella from Elden Ring (I don't play Elden Ring). A character many people in the fandom hate? A character many people refuse to understand? Miquella, you're now my new Raiden Ei

Studying time: 5 hours 30 minutes