Bucket of Weasels

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e   a r e   t h e   b o n e s

Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Me, a janitor, sweeping up the vampires ashes: where the fUCk did all this dirt come from

He looks so excited my God 🤣🤣

Hey, the ACLU is getting people to send letters to your Reps to have Congress pass the No Kings Act.

This act would make constitutional amendments to ensure that even sitting presidents are held liable for their actions. That NOBODY is above the law.

Their goal is 150k messages sent and at the time of writing this they're about 2.1k off from that goal!

ACLU gives you a prefilled message that you can edit to send to make the process easier, and will send it out for you.

This only takes a few minutes!

Not unreality, not a joke: I have never posted such a thing before here but- Please do this one for whatever good it might result in.

reblog if its friday and you made it

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEENNNN

@is-the-primate-vid-cute

Cute!

This orangutan had lots of fun with the sunglasses and the zookeepers managed to get her to trade the sunglasses for some leafy greens when she was done with them. Items like this are not ideal in primate enclosures because they can break and/or ingest pieces, so the orangutan got to have her fun and (not) eat it too.

The Insulindian Phasmid……..

Funny story from the other night:

A dad came into my cafe with his 3 year old daughter.  He bought her a cookie and himself a coffee.  They sit down, and I go back to my pre-closing cleaning.  Three minutes later the dad walks up to the counter again, so I stop cleaning and walk over to greet him again.

As I’m in the middle of saying “hi” he cuts me off and says “Water.”

Not “Can I get a glass of water, please?” not “Where can I get water?” not even a confused “water?” like he’s not sure how to get water in this cafe.  Just a single word demand.

I work in silicon valley, so I’m kind of used to techies talking to me like I’m Siri or Alexa, but it still always drives me crazy when they do this.  Like, I don’t even care about the “please” anymore, I just want people to talk to me in complete sentences.  So I get the guy a cup of water, and he sits back down. 

As I’m about to go back to cleaning I hear his daughter go “Daddy, you did that WRONG.  You have to say ’CAN I have a glass of water PLEASE’”

My jaw hit the ground.  The dad suddenly became flustered and tried coming up with excuses “I-I said please…” “No you didn’t!” “Well she was busy…. I didn’t want to bother her…..” “You still got to be polite!”

When they were done eating the dad brought the dishes back to the counter and said “Thank you so much!” It’s amazing how fast someone’s manners can improve when a 3 year old calls them out.

Shout out to whoever is teaching that little girl manners, because you know it’s not her dad.  I hope she never stops calling rude people out.

saw a thing recently about how callin ppl “y’all” and “folks” is becoming cringe. buddy you can pry those terms of address from my cold dead hands, they’re the only thing keeping me from calling everyone “honeybee”

at least if i die on this hill i’ll go to y’allhalla

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

Some people have been wondering about the raccoon. Listen. Listennn. Don't ask about the raccoon.

But does the racoon survive the Uruk-Hai? Does he curl up on Aragorn's head, or does he go straight to Faramir? Does he bite Denethor?

My friend. My colleague. My brother my captain my king. I too have been pondering this question, and in my mind there can be only one ultimate outcome.

A few months later

All hail the High Warden of Gondor.

Epilogue: It ADORES Faramir.

Every time I see this post I’m obligated to reblog and make it your problem too!

Time Authority: I'm sorry, you want to use the time travel device to do what now?

Me: To show this post to JRR Tolkien.

TA: You want to use time travel - the pinnacle of human technological achievement, a power that can rewrite the fate of nations

Me: Yes

TA: To show Professor Tolkien-

Me: Yes

TA: -the Professor Tolkien-

Me: Yes

TA: -a tumblr shitpost about Boromir wearing a raccoon on his head.

Me: Yes. What's so difficult to understand?

TA:

TA: Why??

Me: I think he'll laugh his ass off.

TA: ...You know what, I have no argument for that. Approved, and godspeed.

If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.

Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:

But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.

This this this

I worked as an election judge across multiple polling locations and election types in my state from 2018-2023 (presidential primary and general elections, midterms, and special elections like for the school board etc.)

US elections are extremely secure. There are so many safeguards in place. Everything is double and triple counted.

The number of ballots electronically counted by the box are checked against the number of physical ballots at the end of the night, and also the receipt papers that individuals exchange for their ballot. All three of these counts MUST MATCH. Sometimes you're off by 1 number and it means everyone stops and triple counts these papers until you find the error (human error, it's been 16 hours and two pieces of thin receipt paper were stuck together and the second person to recount finds it and everyone cheers because thank fuck, it means no one dropped anything on the floor anywhere.)

There are eyes everywhere and there's a deliberate mix of poll workers across political parties/affiliations. It's simply not possible to alter even 1 ballot at 1 polling place, much less thousands.

Unfortunately, Donald Trump won this election. If there was interference, it was NOT at the voting booth. That's simply not possible. The "interference" (if you can even call it that) comes from right wing propaganda convincing stupid and/or hateful and/or selfish people to vote for him.

In 2016, we had 60% turnout.

In 2020, we had 66% turnout.

It's too early to know what this year's number is, but I bet it's around 60%.

Trump got 1.5 million more votes this year than he did 4 years ago, which is more or less in line with population growth.

His base showed up. Harris's base didn't. That's it. There's no deep mystery here, just the usual disenfranchised minorities and disinterested populace.

When turnout is high, Republicans lose. When the electorate stays home, Republicans win. This is simple math that has been true my entire adult life, and yet every 4 years, like clockwork, people ignore it.

Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.

(source)

#all i know about the last unicorn is that alex hirsch hates this film#because the unicorn is a spoiled little bitch that never thanks the wizard for doing anything to help her

???????????????????????? is this true? because....she very much does thank him at the end of the movie

it’s in the gravity falls directors commentaries, and I trust his take

thank him while he’s busting his ass for you and you sit there complaining goddamnit

Well you shouldn't, you should watch it for yourself before disparaging it because she literally does thank the wizard in the end.

The ONLY reason the wizard is traveling with the unicorn in the first place is because they escaped a witch together, and she asked what he wanted as a thank you for saving her and he requested to travel with her. She says she wishes he had asked for something else, but she lets him go with her. She literally thanks him the way he asked to be thanked.

And when the red bull is chasing her down, he turns her into a human (in the book, she was HORRIFIED to find out another wizard had done this to another unicorn, and he did it to her later anyway). She doesn't want to be human. She didn't ask him to turn her into a human. She doesn't LIKE being a human, because it fundamentally changes who she is and she begins to lose her sense of self entirely because of it. All against her will. All of it without asking. And he acts the entire time as if he's really outdone himself on how awesome he is for doing it.

And STILL at the end, when she has returned to being a unicorn, she thanks him AGAIN for saving her, and tells him that she's still not who she was before, but she thanks him for that, too.

So whatever Alex Hirsch was watching wasn't the same movie as what was on the screen, if he's saying Amalthea didn't thank Schmendrick. And even if she hadn't, she's not human. Her people don't do anything the same as humans, including gratitude. It would show a real lack of understanding to judge an immortal, unfeeling creature by human standards, during the worst time of her very, very long life.

Fun fact about Tobi: I have a blistering personal hatred for Alex Jones. Mostly because he was my mentally ill, brain damaged mother's (I'm not being cruel she literally has a hole in her brain from cancer) introduction to the world of conspiracy theories and alt right bullshit.

So for years, every now and then, I put a curse on him. Curses are fun because they let you feel like you're hurting someone without ever actually doing anything illegal that could conceivably harm them. My curse was in the form of a drawing- Anubis, the Egyptian god of death and judgment, as a jackal, eating the heart out of Jones' chest.

Today I wake up to the news that Jones' stupid fucking Infowars channel was bought by the Onion, who intends to gut it out and use its corpse as a puppet to mock the ignorance the channel once espoused as truth.

I'm not saying there is or is not a god. But I have a sneaking suspicion there might be an Anubis.

Drew another one to celebrate why not. Suffer and die you stupid motherfucker.