Nick: How do you think Jess would feel about high-waisted pants?
Schmidt: I think she would have to be high and wasted.
Nike: Wait a minute, how come I get to go for a change?
Jess: Because I want you with me.
Nick: This is something shady, isn't it?
Schmidt: I laugh in the face of danger.
Jess: You cried for 45 minutes and begged Cece not to leave you, so Nick had to go get you ice cream.
Schmidt: That was ages ago.
Jess: It was 10 minutes ago.
Nick: it's been a long week
Jess: it's monday
Jess: Anything’s possible.
Nick: Why do people keep saying that?
Jess: Because it’s true!
Cece as Jess: Are you fake texting? Winston as Nick: It's super important
Nick: Jess, I love your family very much. But my father is going to bludgeon your father to death with a brick, and I’m going to let him.