Michael: Why can’t I meet your family Maria? I won you over didn’t I?
Maria: You can’t get my parents that drunk Michael.
Maria, holding crystals: Your aura’s off
Michael: It’s the trauma
Michael: Can I just crash here? I got kicked out.
Maria: What happened?
Michael: I wet the bed.
Maria: Michael, seriously.
Michael: If you're gonna keep talking all night, I'll just sleep in the park.
Maria: No, stay. If you were horrifically murdered, it would really ruin my day.
Max: Maria, did you know that Michael simply adores you?
Michael: Could I speak to you privately?
Max: He would crawl 50 miles on broken glass just to sweat in your shadow.
Michael: Ixnay on the ovelay alktay
Michael: Hi-ho.
Liz: What did you say?
Michael: Oh, your uniform. Hi-ho. It's off to work you go.
Liz: Guess that makes me Snow White.
Michael: You must be on your way up to see Mopey.
Liz: How is he doing, Sleazy?