Inara: So, why is it, whenever anyone goes on a suicide mission, they take my ship?
Mel: Because it has seatbelts.
Mal: Have we sent the "don’t shoot us we're pathetic" transmission yet?
Wash: That was actually the first thing we tried.
Inara: Mal, Goodbye.
Mal: Oh, Inara, Grow up!
Inara: Oh, Go to Hell! (Slams the door)
Mal: This IS Hell!
Simon: Mal.. Where you going?
Mal: I.C.U.
Simon: You're moving pretty good for a dead man.
Mal: I'm only half-dead.
Kaylee: One sec. You know captain, I hate to bring this up, but I think there's a really obvious solution to our problem.
Mal: I know.
Kaylee: You do?
Mal: Yes. And frankly, I think if I sold you into white slavery, I would miss you.
Simon: What exactly is a county fair ?
Jayne: It's like Disneyland for poor people. They got a Ferris wheel, bumper boats, bands you thought were dead... Last year, they had the world tallest midget. He was as tall as you Mal, remember ?
Mal: I think that might have been a scam, Jayne.
Jayne: I don't know. That was one tall midget.
Wash: Jayne has got a girlfriend!
Kaylee: That's great. What's she do?
Jayne: She's an escort.
Wash: Oh...
Mal: Some mysteries solve themselves, don't they?