Logan: Veronica I think you know me, we've made love.
Veronica: Ugh.
Logan: I think you ugh-mazing!
Logan: Where am I?
Lawyer: Confess.
Logan: I confess, I don't know where I am.
Veronica: [talking about her dad] Now he wants you come to dinner.
Logan: I'll pass.
Veronica: I told it was stupid, but he's affraid you're bad influence on me
Logan: Huh [he touches her chin] I wonder why [smiling]
Logan: (referring to Max) You know what? I don't want to get over her. I want to be the guy in the movie who never gives up and eventually gets the girl.
Alec: Yeah. I don't watch those movies... unless there's nudity.
Logan: How'd you know there'd always be a goth waitress?
Veronica: There's always a goth waitress.
Logan: I wasn't THAT drunk last night.
Dick: You were flirting with Veronica.
Logan: So? She's my girlfriend.
Dick: You asked her if she was single.
Dick: And then cried when she said he wasn't.
Logan: Veronica! Everyone hates you!
Veronica: [cheerfully] Well fork you too!
Max: Ahhh, knowing yourself. Is he talking about what I think he's talking about? [flashes eyebrows suggestively]
Logan: No, Max, once again, none of these philosophers is ever talking about masturbation.
Logan: What exactly do you think of me, Veronica?
Veronica: Somewhere between ‘fuck you’ and 'I’d fuck you’.
Veronica: Anybody else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Logan: Can't relate.
Dick: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
Veronica: I love these parties. I feel like I'm an ambassador, or a spy, or, like, a really high-class prostitute.
Logan: Well, Veronica, it's a political fundraiser. Who's to say you can't be all three?
Veronica: I'm like an onion. Mac: What, you have layers? Veronica: No, I make people cry.
Logan: What's going on ? Veronica: Well there is no pretty way to say this but my father picked up a woman who robbed him and left him tied to a bed in a hotel room... Dick: Hey buddy, take it easy on him it can be pretty upsetting the first time.
Max: How hard have you been brushing your teeth.
Logan: [Logan wanting to keep kissing Max] So hard.
Veronica: Do you know what I keep asking myself?
Logan: Why? Why didn't the Seahawks just give the ball to Marshawn?
Veronica: How stupid we must be?
Logan: You know what, you don’t play so nice with others.
Veronica: I was home schooled.
Veronica: (Presses buzzer) UPS package for 407.
(Clamoring footsteps down fire escape)
Logan: Maybe you should have said FedEx.