Lorelei: You used me.
Luke: We used each other.
Lorelei: You're better at it.
Luke: Since when are radio plays fun?
Lorelei: Since this is a mystery, and Krik is the leading suspect. NCIS: Stars Hollow.
Matt: So, why is Luke mad at you?
Jessica: He sneezed and I accidentally said ‘shut the fuck up’, instead of ‘bless you.’
Matt: How do you accidentally say ‘shut the fuck up’?
Luke: Hey, I'm back from the stor-.....again?
Loreleai: [Stuck on top of the fridge with a pot on her head and a nerf gun in her hand] I saw another spider. Nowhere is safe. We'll rendez-vous in Nova Scotia. I'm burning the house down.
Sookie: (to Lorelei and crying) You're freaking everyone!
Lorelei: (crying too) Why are you crying?
Luke: Sookie, are you crying?
Sookie: Cause you're making me cry with your emotional.
Luke: What are you doing? Lorelei: Wait a second, can you see me? Luke: Yes. Lorelei: Oh, I totally misunderstood that “groom can’t see the bride in her wedding dress” thing.
Luke: Do you have time to look at a couple of Youtube tutorials?
Lorelai: Of failed twerking tutorials? Yes.
Rory: But no one lip-syncing to Frozen.
Sookie: I'm the best first-date-girl in town. I mean, I bring my A game: funny, flirty, charismatic, tasteful.
Lorelai: Like me.
Luke: And the second?
Sookie: The second date: antsy, bored, distant, impatient, irritable.
Lorelai: Like Luke.
Lorelai: Can I make a suggestion that you won't like?
Luke: Do you make any other kind?
Luke: Who's complaining about the eggs?
Kirk: Oh, no complaints, just observations.
Luke: Such as?
Kirk: The eggs are not good. Its normally a moot point at the a la carte price of $2.95. I love eggs. I love 'em fried, scrambled, soft-boiled, florentine. These I didn't love. So who do we blame - the hen or the cook?
[Luke glares at Kirk]
Kirk: Let's blame the hen.
[Luke walks away]
Kirk: [offhand] He's a nice guy.
Lorelai: If you think I'm talented, just say it.
Luke: I think you're talented.
Lorelai: You're just saying that.
Luke: We have a baby?
Rory: Mom picked it up at the police station.
Luke: Okay, I thought you were going to request a job, not a kid.
Lorelai: Codenames: Mine is "Eagle 1."
Lorelai: Chris is "Been there, done that".
Lorelai: Luke is "Currently doing that." [They high-five]
Lorelai: Kirk is "It happened once in dream."
Lorelai: Sookie is "If I had to pick a chick."
Lorelai: Michel is "Eagle 2."
Michel: Oh, thank God.
Lorelai: Done! I win! Ha ha ha ha!
Luke: It's not a race.
Lorelai: Said the tortoise to the hare.
Luke: You know, in the story, the tortoise actually wins.
Lorelai: It's a fairy tale. How is a turtle going to beat a rabbit?
Luke: It's not a fairy tale. It's a fable, a life lesson. "Slow and steady wins the race."
Lorelai: Here's a life lesson. Lorelai fast, Lorelai win.
Lorelai: Sometimes doing a bad thing for a good reason is okay, right?
Luke: Yeah. I mean, maybe you're doing something wrong, but if it's what's meant to be, if it's what's right, does that really make you a bad person?
Luke: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Rory: Luke's Dinner.
Lorelai: Covered in gold chains.
Lane: Rock star. No, movie star. No. Yeah, rock star.
Jess: Prison.
[Luke serves Rory and Lorelai some leftover chicken.]
Luke: Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing.
Lorelai: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?