turning off your computer by clicking the digital shut down button = softly kissing it goodnight

turning off your computer by holding down the physical power button = strangling her to death

my decision not to migrate to twitter when everyone said the porn ban was going to kill tumblr makes me now feel like one of those people that missed boarding the goddamn titanic

Them together? :)

Kitchen Nightmares is really just like

Owners: i don't know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help

Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food

Owners: we have the best food

*food comes out*

Gordon: this is an alive rat

Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.

*dinner service*

Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat

Waitress: is everything okay?

Customer: no it's an alive rat

*food is sent back*

Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat

*Gordon goes in the freezer*

Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They've unionized.

*later*

Gordon: your food is bad

Owner: no!!!!!!!!

Gordon: yes

Owner: oh my god our food is bad

*remodel, menu change*

Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much

Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?

Owner: yes of course

*end of episode*

Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*

End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.

I’m a reliable narrator. You can trust me

im gonna throw up

this is the funniest thing i've ever seen on twitter lmao

browsing anime pornography silently and without emotion and shaking my head solemnly when i see bad anatomy

When you survive the end of the world by partying with your (maybe?) Monster hunting boyfriend. Or are they ‘steddie’ already XD 

(Yeah, yeah. I make dad jokes. My Gen X arse owns that. I’ll see myself out. ;p)

His self destructive nature and pretty brown eyes have captivated me

Please stop

i am not a believer in fandom having an age limit but i DO believe that with age and experience you should at least try to develop the ability to Act Right on the internet. nothing wrong at all with being 30+ in fandom but by that point you should be mature enough to devote your fandom experience to just vibing and you definitely should not be devoting it to having shipping arguments with people half your age

who the hell is nikocado avocado

i’m like a vampire in the way that you have to 100% confirm that it is okay for me to join into anything