i probably love you

i have alexithymia and bipolar disorder (have mentioned this before) but one time when i was really anxious i drank a ton of water and it made me feel better so now when im anxious i keep drinking water until i feel better which doesnt necessarily work because im not always anxious because im dehydrated.

the thing my mom doesnt understand is that every mental health professional i see keeps telling me that i just need to get to school and get out of here. like they keep listening to me and being like i genuinely think that would fix a lot of your problems. but no.

you wish you were me in flow free.

mentioned this before but i love wax apples. wish i was eating a bowl of wax apples right now.

bipolar disorder nightmare mode (you also have alexithymia)

i know the internet sucks now bc 10 years ago if i googled 'almond milk meme' it would be every single result. i had to trawl for that image when i needed it.

downton abbey really is like that. like actually. theres a character called marmaduke.

you know the 'i think i was supposed to be gay' bit from new in town? well i think i was supposed to be a furry. they forgot some special ingredient or something because i was fashioned lovingly out of furry stereotypes and yet i cannot imagine myself as an anthropomorphic animal of any kind.

if you told me at 12 years old that hank green would be a best selling novelist and john green would be writing non fiction i think id smugly ask if you got their names mixed up.

theres a park in walking distance from my home but its literally always locked. i would love to work there but it has never once been open since it was built.

applying for jobs and heaven knows im miserable now.

one of these days my internet is gonna do the stupid thing where it cuts out and im gonna snap and shoot someone.

i can be normal in a way but the problem is the only kind of normal i can appear as is 'standoffish misanthrope' which is like, the opposite of what i am.

AHHH! AHH!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ive always wanted to fuck her

i love the word technically. i love diminishing my accomplishments with one word.

when i move to canada (which will happen. it must happen) i think ill bring just like as many cocoa sticks as i can get away with in case i cant visit home during my degree.