i tried to hire a hypeman and the cheapest one (free) was a fucking wizard and now i cant get rid of her. she keeps saying shit like "she speaketh true" and "very wise milady" everytime i say fuckin anything and if she sees a car she tries to attack it with chain lightning. fucking embarassing honestly
Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me
My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them
so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things
God me and some friends are talking abt being dense af rn and i just remembered this one time i was shopping w my dad and i wanted to get rainbow shoelaces at the dr martins shop. And there was this punk girl, dyed hair face piercings rlly cute, behind the counter and like prince charming putting the shoe on cinderellas foot she offered to lace my gay shoelaces into my dr martins and i let her. “Wow what good customer service!”. And then in the car my DAD had to tell me that she was flirting with me a major L to gay people over the world
She was on her knees for me and everything and i noticed NOTHING im still so embarrassed good god
This world is so cruel
Why would you curse me like this 😭😭😭
thinking about when i was small, how my mom told me that pipe cleaners were just a tool until people started idly shaping things with them and it grew so popular that they were marketed as crafting materials. and that story about how the original frisbees were disposable pie plates that students flattened to throw. and how when i was a child i had a wooden mancala set with shiny, colorful stones, but on invention it was played with rocks and grooves dug into the dirt. and middle school, paper football and tic-tac-toe and mash and mad libs, games that just need pen and paper. and before that, games of pretend with pirates and princes and masked marauders. how at slumber parties after lights out, we used to whisper storytelling games, i say one sentence and you say the next. and shadow puppets. and the way all the kids in the neighborhood used to divide into teams and throw fallen pine cones at one another. and the floor is lava game, and the quiet game, and the games i play with my coworkers that are just words and retention. and "put a finger down" on the high school bus. and little girls clapping together, and how the first jump-rope was undoubtedly just a length of rope who knows how long ago, and how natural it is to play, how we seek play at every age and with any resources we have and with whatever time we can squeeze it into in a day. i'm not an anthropologist or a psychologist but i think after food and shelter and water and air what comes next is games and stories and laughter. i think that there is nothing -- not sex or fighting or forming unlikely bonds with animals -- there is nothing more human than to play.
abnormal physical desire: i just need to grab a pair of hips and fuck away
normal physical desire: i am a rabbit that needs to be poisoned
is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do
uh oh 😖 I’m playing video games 😰 on my computer 🫢 that I own 😨 if anyone sees this I’m going to have to fake my own death
I regularly walk past shops like "looks interesting but they don't want me going in there and buying their merchandise"
Okay so this is a big deal
To me, and to a significant subset of Sir Terry's fans (including most of you who've found this by the tags), his writing is serious commentary on the human condition - politics, prejudice, self-control, revenge vs. justice, religion, idealism, faith in people vs. cynicism, and more - dressed up with fantasy settings and a hefty leavening of humor to make it fun to read. And it is WILDLY fun to read, actual laugh-out-loud or at least a snicker averaging about every page.
But there's this common idea among the "important literature" people that fun and funny books are not also worthwhile or important in the same way.
This is a Discworld book being released WITH ACADEMIC COMMENTARY and AS A PENGUIN CLASSIC. That's a HUGE amount of recognition.
Oh, I’m about to tear up. I had to fight so hard to do my thesis on Pratchett because the university didn't like what they considered pop culture being studied as literature and this is just... Existing. 🥹
walt disney who? (x)
I love that every year fire departments are like "hey. maybe DON'T fry your turkeys?"
and across the nation, patriots rise up and shout "FUCK YOU" bc surely it'll be fine for THEM
and then start massive grease fires in their backyards
it is my most favorite thanksgiving tradition
for non-americans who have no idea what I'm talking about, a TON of fire departments and public health people will do annual presentation videos on how deep frying turkeys can go catastrophically bad
and every year, the american public goes "...anyway, where's my propane tank-"
Ivan Pokidyshev Silence, 2023 Oil on canvas.