I'm just going to say this.

Angry Mick, Completely Done Mick, and (verbally) Savage Mick are the sexiest things on the planet. This may make me sound like a horrible person but could you just imagine dating him just to piss him off and get that break up sex? Can you imagine doing it again? Because I can. Okay, now, I feel like a horrible person and Mick probably wouldn't forgive me if I did that... Or worse, he would compare me to Toni. Gotta respect Renny, though. He really knew how to get under Mick's skin and bring out that side of him.

I probably shouldn't have used that GIF. I'm not like that, okay?!

The Ideal Bodyguard

And, no, I won't hear, otherwise. This is the man I need.

Ideal Person to get High With

Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you. Well, high or drunk. Whichever.

Okay, but what if he were to kill you politely?

"I'm going to help you on the ceiling, now, okay? Yeah, that's it. Good girl. I always did have a soft spot for you, you know? See you on the other side." *proceeds to set your body on fire*

Can your man do that? I didn't think so.

I dare you to name something better than your man fucking you senseless with his mouth (among other things...)

YOU CAN'T! YOU JUST FUCKING CAN'T!

Whoever this writer is, she deserves the world for writing THE BEST SMUT I have ever read. She also deserves Hell for slaughtering my hormones. But seriously, though... I have never wanted to be fucked by anyone so bad in my life. Like, fuck, I know he's a Demon but I don't care. The fucker is absolutely sexy so you can fuck off.

One of the few genuinely perfect fics I've found on Ao3 and I love how it always pops up this message after I'm done rereading it:

I. Don't. Care. LET ME SHOW IT SOME LOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Anyway, this is basically what it's about so you don't go wandering in blind (even though, I really should just leave you no choice but to click the link but I'll be nice... for now, hehehe):

If it makes you feel more comfortable (speaking as virgin here), you can imagine it as anal fingering which is what I did. She never does really specify which hole, you know. Fuck, can I shut up? Sorry, I just read it again so I'm high as all living Hell. Fuck me! Please! Please...

Edit: It decided my tags were too long and cut off some of them so I'm going to do this instead. Necessary tags are below, I guess.

Screw the Timeline, they would've been so good for each other.

Azazel and Dick Roman (Azoman) would've made such a good couple (even if they destroy the world while they're at it). Like Dick is calm and calculated and would give Azazel that balance that he needs. Meanwhile, Azazel will make it his mission to not only seduce the Alpha Leviathan but also add some spice into his life (shall we say). And I think it would be cute AF. Dick would, honestly, despite certain obvious facts, would make such a perfect step-dad to Meg and Tom. Of course, he would be the calm parent that they could talk to about relationship problems or being mad at their biological father or whatever else might be bothering them. And he'd be very, very protective of them. So, protective, in fact, that he would make Azazel look nice which is saying something. Both of them (and the Masters') could've benefited from having one another but, of course, when the one was alive, the other was in Purgatory. So, that sucks.

Adam? ADAM! (IK I'm crazy but I love him)

I would gladly kidnap Adam Fergus and lock him in my basement (if I had one). No, I'm not going to torture him or anything like that. Just set up a sofa with lots of blankets and pillows (just because) and go on a gaming spree with him. He'd probably be better than me, LOL.

Now, Mick? I would make this assortment of fluffy blankets on the floor and we would cuddle watching whatever he'd like (he probably knows some good things I've never heard of). At least, that's the way I imagined it. I have a lot of fluffy fangirl fantasies of Mick... 😊😏