Part of being The Drarry Librarian is making educational posts to help our fandom grow and thrive. Today I want to address a problem that isn’t specific to our fandom, but sadly to all fandoms: sending hatred and harassment, anonymously or not. I’m not naive enough to believe I can solve this problem with a post, but I certainly hope that it makes people think twice and provides some resources to anyone who has been harassed or received hate. 

Sending negative and hateful messages never accomplishes what the sender hopes. It’s just bullying, plain and simple. And just like real life bullying, online bullying negatively impacts both mental and physical health. It causes anxiety and depression, which can manifest into physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, high blood pressure and puts even young people at a higher risk for heart attacks and strokes. Especially in adolescents, cyberbullying directly contributes to self-harm and suicide ideation/attempts and even in some cases, suicide completion. 

I wish that making someone who sends hate aware of the hurt that they caused would solve the problem, but I also know that when the goal is to silence the recipient, people who send hate often don’t care about hurting others. I want these people to remember that nothing fandom related is worth this and that they are in charge of curating their own fandom experiences.

YOU have the power to unfollow, filter certain tags, or even block someone. It’s never acceptable to harass someone or send them hate over a difference of opinion though.

If you receive hate, please know that you’re not alone - this person has probably harassed other people too. It’s not your fault and you don’t deserve it. Reach out to a friend for support, because even if it isn’t bothering you in the moment, it might come back to bother you later. Document the harassment through a screenshot for reporting purposes, then block and report the sender. Delete the messages from the comments or your inbox so you don’t have to see them anymore. It’s tempting to respond, but most of the time it simply gives the person what they desire: attention and the knowledge that they upset you. If you continue to be harassed, you can change your tumblr and AO3 account settings so that only registered users can comment or interact.

Remember, you are so much more than what the hate says you are. Sending hate says far more about the person who sent it than it says about you. No one deserves hate, and everyone has worth.

We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on…that’s who we really are. • Sirius Black

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https://floridacovidaction.com/

This is Fascism.

So I used to make fun of this guy for using the same face over and over. And you know what? Kudos on this made for actually taking the criticism and breaking out of his rut.

This is also terrifying and I hate it.

“Kudos for actually taking the criticism and breaking out of his rut.“

Except it wasn’t criticism, it was constant daily harassment. Look, I’ve been making comics for the internet for 10 years. I made comics for BuzzFeed for about two years, but people love to focus on those comics for some reason. They were simpler and quicker because I needed to publish at least one thing a day. And I loved it! I learned a lot!

At some point when I was getting really popular, Reddit and Tumblr decided they’d had enough and launched a targeted campaign against me. Tried to doxx me multiple times. Sent death threats. 4Chan threads started popping up for the sole purpose of spreading rumors that I’m a pedophile. All because I was making “lazy” comics and getting a salary for it.

Also, it’s always the same 10 or so comics that got posted as proof of my laziness. I made 1,008 comics at BuzzFeed (I counted). I worked really hard for my extremely mediocre salary.

Now that I’ve left BuzzFeed and don’t have deadlines anymore, I can spend more time on comics and only draw things I’m passionate about (like my dick). But make no mistake—if you like my stuff now, it’s because I pushed myself so hard as BuzzFeed. I’m not better now because of the “criticism” I got from trolls on the internet. Don’t fucking take credit for that.

UNASKED FOR CRITICISM IS NEVER ‘CONSTRUCTIVE’. YOU’RE NOT BEING HELPFUL, YOU’RE JUST BEING MEAN. 

Except, as Adam says above, it’s not criticism. It’s just harassment. 

Everyone who puts something online is open to criticism. Everyone. Anyone is allowed to say, “I don’t like this,” or “Hm, there are some problems here.” That’s the inherent risk of putting your work out for others to see. 

The problem isn’t that people said “Hey, Adam, you seem to be drawing the same thing over and over a lot and it’s kinda getting old for us as viewers.” Hell, the problem wasn’t even people making the occasional “Hey that Adam guy sure draws the exact same face over and over doesn’t he?” joke. Those things are part and parcel of sharing your work, especially to as wide an audience as Adam has.

The problem, as he said above, was that it went beyond criticism - invited or no. It went beyond jokes. It turned into harassment. People tried doxxing him. They sent hate mail. They accused him of all kinds of ugly things. All because they didn’t like his art.

That isn’t criticism. That isn’t even “unasked-for criticism.” Shit, that isn’t even being “mean.” That’s bullying. That’s being fucking evil. 

Call a spade a spade. Don’t lump bullying (”fuck off and die”) in with perfectly normal reactions to art (”I do/don’t like this”). The former is so far from the latter it might as well be in a different galaxy.

Hatedom.

It’s a fandom dedicated to hating someone or something.

And it acts like it’s righteous, but really it’s full of shitty people who want to get off to hurting someone.

came for the awesome art & storytelling, stayed for the very important message underneath.

Please please please

I saw a post about “Please stop hitting on women while they’re at work” and I 100% agree with it, which is why I’m making a separate post to say please don’t hit on people in general when they’re at work.

I work at a bakery and we have this sweet 16 about to turn 17 year old boy who works up front of our store. He used to work at the place next door to us and, while he was there, a girl he was working with developed a bit of a crush on him and asked him out.

He said no, that he has a girlfriend (which she already knew) and thought they could just continue on being friends and coworkers.

Since beginning work at our bakery she stops in every single day and talks to him for the entirety of her 30 minute long break. He has told her multiple times that he’s at work and can’t stand around and talk and when I asked him if he was uncomfortable his response was a very relieved “Oh, God, yes.” 

He’s tried to talk to one of the owners about it and his response was “You can talk to her after work” not realizing this poor boy is being made incredibly uncomfortable on a daily basis in the work place. 

When we told him he could come into the back to find something to do if he needed to he was so incredibly thankful and relieved. This girl spent twenty minutes standing up front waiting for him to come back after he said he had to go do something. Twenty minutes in the front of the store ever after being told he can’t talk to her. He doesn’t know what would happen if he says that he doesn’t want to talk to her and is genuinely nervous every time she walks in.

The only reprieve he gets is from the bakers in the back saying “I get it. Come back here” because the Owners don’t understand that he, a male coworker, can be made uncomfortable by these unwanted advancements being made toward him. 

Please.

This post isn’t made to undersell not hitting on women while they’re at work. I get that and that’s why this separate post exists.

Please.

Don’t hit on people when they’re at work.

Don’t hit on people when they can’t tell you no. 

stop the phrase “tattle-tale”. stop indirectly telling kids that if they speak up about someone that’s bothering them, they’re doing something bad. stop contributing to the culture of abuse.

seriously though this NEEDS to stop. my mother. a grownass woman of 59. had to ask me over and over again if I was sure it wasn’t ethically dubious for her to go to her employer and report harassment and terror tactics from a coworker because she didn’t “want to be a tattler.” stop teaching kids not to be “tattle-tales” because they will not grow out of it. 

This this this.

I hope this is okay to add but in addition to the above it can create immediate and dangerous problems for children, with other children.

When I was six years old, one of my first grade classmates bullied me relentlessly for a long time. When I tried to tell the teacher that he wouldn’t stop touching me, she told me that I was being a tattle-tale and disrupting the class. So he got worse and worse. Before I knew it, he was telling me that I had to let him destroy my school supplies because his daddy told him that women have to obey the word of men. The bullying culminated in him and his friend waiting until the teacher and all the other kids left at the end of the day, cornering me at my desk, then threatening to bring his dad’s gun to school and shoot me if I didn’t stop wearing my favorite boots.

I didn’t tell the teacher because that would have been ‘tattling’. I didn’t tell my parents until they asked why I was upset that night. I wound up talking to the principal with my dad, and the principal was shocked that I had been too scared to report a shooting threat.

I know that a lot of people might think a kid would definitely report something like that, but I didn’t. A lot of kids don’t. Please, please give kids the chance to tell you if something is wrong, don’t brush them off, make sure they know that they can come to you for help. Don’t make them think they’re a burden or a ‘tattle-tale’.

And you might think, “Oh, well kids should know the difference between tattling and getting help, they should know when something is important and when it’s not. They should know better.”.  They don’t.  A 3 year old does not know he doesn’t need to cry when he wanted the blue jelly bean or if the thing he’s trying to do doesn’t work, those things are important to him and he is expressing himself in the only way he has ever known and it is your job to teach him how to manage his emotions, not internalize them because they “aren’t important”.  

Little kids don’t know what’s important and what’s not.  As they get older they learn, but if you just tell them to quit complaining and deal with shit, that’s what they’ll do until it’s bigger shit that does matter and now it’s your fault that your kid feels like he/she can’t express themselves when frustrated or scared or angry or whatever.  You might think  “Well, he’s 5 now, he should know.”  Just, inherently?  By osmosis?  Did you even hold a child-rearing book against his head to increase the chances of successful osmosis?  NO?  Then I’m guessing you didn’t teach him that his feelings are valid but there are appropriate and effective responses, and which those are.

Also:  Stop bullying your fucking kids into being bullies.  “Man up” and “Deal with it” are not appropriate parenting techniques.  You just told your kid that his/her problem doesn’t matter and they should just cram it deep down and stop bothering you with their emotions.  

Yeah, you’re old as fuck and your kid’s problem seems stupid and asinine, but your kid isn’t old as fuck and that problem is new and they don’t know what to do about it.  Don’t be a dick.  

This shit seriously pisses me off, I remember when I was younger I told my parents that my brother broke my nose and I got grounded for ‘snitching’

Watch:  Chicago woman had some great responses to a white man’s disturbing racist attacks.

I reblogged this 0.2 sec ago but I love her clapbacks so much

Yeah should be doing this more.

I just love how she says “He does not look to be of Native American descent,” lmao.

HAHAHA Fuck that guy 😂😂

This woman is fucking amazing!!!

I love her!