Please stop trying to push fat propaganda on your readers.

Can’t stop, won’t stop. My propaganda is going plus-sized and I’m taking all of you with me.Neville is getting love handles. Hermione is getting stretch marks. Draco is getting a bum as soft and round as his face is pointy. From now on Teddy is a fat activist, James Sirius appears on five months of the Quidditch League’s first Nude Fat Athletes Appreciation Calendar. Luna publishes the magical world’s first plus-sized fashion magazine and Ginny is the cover star. Harry launches a campaign to have automatic expanding charms on all cinema and restaurant seats. Scorpius turns up to his first date with Albus wearing a Riots Not Diets tshirt. It’s unstoppable. Lucius gets chub rub, Narcissa burns her spanx. Nothing can stop this propaganda machine!

Halloooooo!! I'd like to request a secret santa for the lovely @lol-zeitgeistic ;) Prompt: drarry and grudders double date; kisses as incentives for push-ups, Muggle and wizard culture blending. Thanks so much, sugar!!

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy + Gregory Goyle/Dudley Dursley - 21st December in the HP Secret Santa(one of my favourite evil geniuses prompting for my other favourite genius, Happy Holidays @lol-zeitgeistic and @carpemermaid!)

“Make them stop,” Harry moaned, hiding his face in the crook of Draco’s neck.

“Would that I could, my love,” said Draco, draining his wine glass. “Would that I could. Yet I am but one man. One lone man against the unstoppable force of a runaway train.”

“The Railway Children were kids and they managed to stop a train with nothing except a pair of red knickers,” Harry countered.

“Is that another of those Disney films? You know I don’t-” Draco was interrupted by a loud grunt from the restaurant floor.

“Make. Them. Stop.”

“One man, Harry. One man, unstoppable force. I have no power here.”

“You have all the power,” Harry hissed into Draco’s neck, pressing so close that they were practically sitting on the same chair. “Greg’s your friend, he’ll listen to you. Tell him to tell Dudley to stop.”

“Big D is your cousin,” Draco smirked as Harry shuddered at the nickname and nearly sent the bread basket flying. “Rather than using Gregory and myself as intermediaries why don’t you simply appeal to his better nature and-”

Another grunt was followed by a cheer.

“Draco, please Draco,” Harry pulled back and fixed large green eyes on Draco’s face. “He won’t listen to me. A small hex, that’s all I’m asking.”

“Muggles, Harry,” said Draco. “Muggles everywhere because you wanted to put your cousin at ease and chose a Muggle restaurant. A plan which appears to have worked rather too well, if I may say.” He nodded to the floor where Dudley let out another grunt.

“For fucks sake Dudley,” Harry snapped. “Give it a rest, you must be at 100 by now.”

“36,” Greg cheered.

“37!” Dudley corrected him, completing another push-up and stealing a kiss from Greg before collapsing back onto the restaurant floor. He had crumbs in his hair and a massive smile of his face.