rare vent art from a few months ago

I feel this!!! Also love how you muted the color along the way, I think it makes it that much more impactful!

This is the thing!

— Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott

“In my friend, I find a second self.”

c.s. lewis / my best friend by the coral / alivia horsley / @billypotts / hanya yanagihara / ‘after party ll’ salman toor / the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy / a summer’s tale / lorde / hanya yanagihara / abed and troy (community) with a winnie the pooh quote @weelezzer / isabel norton

things that are beautiful:

(=￢ｪ￢=)

Plums~

An afternoon of solace

Laughs and plum flavoured lollipops

The extraordinary of a day

Filled with acceptance and joy

-----------------

It's never to late to form new friendships 👓🦋🧚‍♀️

Luna and Cho finally getting to know each other 😊

friendship IS romance : 1. / 2. / 3. fleabag / 4. / 5. / 6. / 7. / 8. a little life, hanya yanagihara  / 9. / 10. 

Get yourself a Gen X friend...

From realtimewithJayson on TikTok

Telling good friends from bad

HERE ARE 7 THINGS A GOOD FRIEND DOES DIFFERENTLY

1. THEY ACCEPT YOU – FLAWS AND ALL

A good friend is going to accept you for who you are, no matter what, even if you’re really bad at showing up on time, or if you tend to accidentally say the wrong things. “Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety, and it hurts.  A real friend is someone who truly knows you, and loves you just the same,” says coach and author Marc Chernoff.

A good friend is going to adore you even if you have a couple of flaws that need to be worked on. They won’t ever make you feel bad for being human, and they’ll even help you work on your flaws by being so kind and compassionate to you in the first place.

2. THEY HELP YOU MOVE FORWARD

A good friend is always going to be there to support you in all of your endeavors. They’re going to push you forward toward your goals no matter what. Even when things seem tough, you never have to worry about a good friend leaving you behind. They’re always going to be your number one cheerleader and they’re always going to help you move forward.

3. THEY NEVER JUDGE YOU

Good friends may try to give you advice and guide you, but they’re never going to judge the choices that you ultimately decide to make. You’ll know a good friend from anyone else because you will always feel safe telling your good friend the things going on in your life.

You won’t ever have to worry about being judged secretly, because a good friend cares about you enough not to judge you for what you do. Good friends know that “they are not in your shoes and may have no idea what you are experiencing,” adds life coach Sharon L. Mikrut.

4. THEY’RE THERE THROUGH THE HARD TIMES

When things get tough and life stresses you out, you can always count on a good friend to be there for you when you need it.

Pastor Justin Jahanshir says, “… a good friend aligns their schedule with the priority of friendship. Developing meaningful, lasting friendships is not a by-product, but is built through intentional, purposed time and energy. Thus, the starting point for any ongoing friendship will simply be time invested into the relationship.”

Even if you end up getting into a disagreement, you’ll know that a good friend is going to be there for you after it’s all over. You don’t have to be afraid of arguments ruining your friendship. They’ll stick it out through the good times and the bad times.

5. THEY’RE HONEST

Little white lies don’t exist between good friends.  “… a true friend doesn’t simply support our every action, but will challenge us to greater ways of thinking and action. This means there will be times for tough conversations,” adds Pastor Jahanshir.

A good friend is going to always be honest with you, even when it’s not something that you want to hear. However, they’re always going to be kind and compassionate with their honesty. You won’t feel bad after having a real talk with a good friend. Their honesty is going to be something that you always value from them.

“If it’s a superficial friend or a new friend, they’re not going to say anything that may be off-putting. But if it’s a real friend — someone you truly trust — they know they can tell you exactly what’s on their mind. People who are open and straightforward are some of the most important types of friends to have,” says psychiatrist Robert Rowney, D.O.

6. THEY’RE A GOOD LISTENER

We all know those friends who seem to be listening with one ear while ignoring you with the other. A good friend is going to listen to you and really, really hear what you’re saying.

“Whether you are relating a good or bad experience, friends listen. They don’t interrupt or try to make suggestions or recommendations. They simply listen, letting you get everything off your chest,” says Mikrut.

You won’t ever have to repeat yourself or feel like you’re just being humored when you talk about your feelings or the things going on in your life. A good friend will listen to you and you will feel listened to.

7. THEY ALWAYS MAKE YOU SMILE

When life gets you down, you know exactly who to go to when you’re looking to get a pick me up. Your good friend is always going to be the person that you’re not afraid to talk to when things are getting tough. They will know just how to make you smile when it feels impossible.

(source)

Are they really your friend? 15 signs that suggest otherwise

1. They only call when they want something

All friendships should be equal – which means that you should receive as much as you put in, it’s all based on reciprocation and mutuality. If you’re putting in more than you’re getting out, you should think twice about what they are asking from you.

2. The conversation is never equal

Do you find that you just spend your whole time focused on them when you’re hanging out? Yeah, that’s not cool – we all have problems and things we’d like to talk to somebody about.

3. They put you down or make fun of you in front of others

A definite no-no. Usually, people do this because they feel bad about themselves and want to use somebody else as a distraction. Draw a line over any friendships like this immediately.

4. You feel bad about yourself when you’ve spent time with them

Sometimes it’s difficult to analyse behaviour, but your emotions never lie. Friends should make you feel good, empowered and uplifted. If you leave them feeling like crap then you should probably re-evaluate the benefit you’re getting from the friendship. Some people, unfortunately, just like to bring others down.

5. They are aggressively competitive

It’s good to be a little competitive now and again, but like most things – you can have too much of a good thing. A friendship based on competitive behaviour is NEVER healthy or a true friendship.

6. They aren’t happy for you when good things happen

This is one of the most common tell-tale signs and it’s also based on competitive behaviour. A true friend will want to see you succeed and be happy.

7. They bring drama into your life

It’s usually the people who spend their time moaning about drama who are the ones causing it. You don’t need that negativity around you.

8. They bitch about you behind your back

An absolute no-no. Friendships need to be based on mutual respect and trust. Don’t put up with that crap.

9. Your relationship feels like it’s built on conditionality

This is likewise for all relationships in your life. You should feel like they are unconditional and not based on you being or acting in a certain way.

10. They bail on you

Sometimes it happens and that’s fine, but if it’s consistent then it obviously shows that your friend is unreliable and much less invested in the friendship than you are. Maybe it’s your turn to bail on them, permanently.

11. They use your secrets against you and share them

This is malicious and absolutely nothing a true friend would ever do.

12. They are a bad influence and make you do things that get you into trouble

Nip this in the bud before you end up getting yourself into trouble. Friends don’t make friends do bad things… or text when drunk, but we’ll turn a blind eye to that one… for now.

13. They talk about their other friends behind their back

If they do this, the chances are, they do it to you too. It’s fine to have a moan occasionally, but anything malicious would probably indicate that they aren’t as genuine as they’d like you to believe.

14. They bail when you need them the most

So there are friends, who are, well… friends and there are friends who are still your friends at 3am on a Wednesday morning in the midst of your breakdown. The latter are your friends for life and it’s important to know that you can rely on a few select individuals to be by your side through thick and thin.

15. They exclude you from things with mutual friends

If it’s on purpose and happening often, despite you bringing it up then we’d suggest you created some distance. It is important to remember that sometimes it can happen accidentally so try and talk to them about it before jumping to conclusions.

It’s not me, it’s you: breaking up

Firstly speak to somebody about it, make sure your response is rational. If it is, then deal with it, accept that it isn’t your fault and mentally move on. Once you’ve done this, you have 1 of 2 options:

Let the friendship naturally fade out

Stop making arrangements, stop replying and distance yourself from them. Eventually, you’ll become increasingly distant until you’re officially no longer friends on Facebook.

Or…

Confront them

There are 2 schools of thought surrounding this: confrontation can be good if you’d like to hopefully try to resolve things, but on the opposite end, confrontation can be incredibly empowering if you’ve felt particularly suppressed or upset by somebody. Arguments can be healthy, provided that they don’t put anybody at risk and won’t make situations worse. We’d recommend a mediator to help keep an argument balanced. [I would personally add that some people are so toxic that they’ll never accept their own bad behavior: in which case, confronting them might end up making you feel WORSE instead of better. Only you can decide what is the right approach for you!]

Afterthought

People come and go and it is rare that a friend will be by your side for life. It’s hard to go through but it’s just part of growing up. It can be scary confronting or walking away from somebody who you once considered a friend but your esteem and integrity are much more important than trying to keep somebody happy who doesn’t give a damn about you.

An unlikely friendship

Lord Nibbles just wants to play

Fantastic advice from Emily @staganddragon 💖