dewitty1 reblogged
Prepare yourself.
I desperately need this event to either 1) go exceedingly well by all convention standards or 2) somehow fail more spectacularly than Dashcon I.
dewitty1 reblogged
Please watch this you guys, this made me laugh so hard.
You know how it is with the uk
me at the end
#According to The Tree Council tree guards are used#to stop animals from mice and rabbits to deer and horses damaging young trees#by eating the shoots and leaves or stripping the bark.#They are also intended to enhance tree growth by offering support and helping the tree grows upwards rather than out.#OK yes#OMFG#treybugatti#n i c e#But and they do have a tax for every bedroom so it honestly wouldn't surprise me 😂#Uk#Fenced trees
dewitty1 reblogged
ladycreep-deactivated20201127
dewitty1 reblogged
I love our flag means death but i have a bit of trouble reading the acronym
have y'all seen demi adejuyigbe's review of twilight on letterboxd
I'm weeping
petition to make Americans google “euro” before writing fic
If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo
tag credit to @teashoesandhair
dewitty1 reblogged
dry ink brush (default, under inking) for everything!! with some edge control brush for blending (jingsketch basics) :v super fun
dewitty1 reblogged
Officially, the thirstiest Harry I’ve ever drawn.
I’ve been reading That Old Black Magic again by @bixgirl1 ... perhaps that’s why?
My reference for the amazing body choreography is from this Hannibal post. I couldn’t help myself, I needed to make it Drarry.
happi-iris
I like how this post’s reblog/like ratio is over 100%
I’m Daphne
dewitty1 reblogged
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
@rippledragon linked this to me and a good time is being had.
DM: okay you’re face to face with Goliath and he’s like twice your size
David:... I throw a rock at him with my slingshot
DM: are you sure? This is a fig-
David: I throw a rock at him with my slingshot.
David: *rolls a 20*
DM:...
DM: okay so you kill Goliath
this is so much funnier if you assume the DM is God.
dewitty1 reblogged
Chaotic Disney Princess
I have known this person for 41 seconds. but if anythign were to happen to them, I would kill everyone on tik tok and then myself
pricklyfish777-deactivated20230
They terrify me, yet i woulf trust them with my life.
dewitty1 reblogged
So, Hedwig always brings Harry a present from the Dursley’s every year for Christmas (even if it is something stupid) but how does she get it? The Dursley’s certainly don’t know how to send by wizarding post, and they don’t care enough about Harry to find out how to send him things by wizarding post.
Introducing my new headcannon where Hedwig flies to the Dursley’s every year around Christmas and just pecks them like crazy until they give her SOMETHING to take to Harry for Christmas. Because Hedwig is awesome, and I love that image.
This is cannon, I will fight you.
dewitty1 reblogged
xicamatl-deactivated20201127
Anonymous asked:
sooooo tell us the story of how you fucked your boss's wife??
I love telling this story… just there’s a lot I can’t tell, and some of it is… y’know, not exactly above the law, but I’ll do my best
My boss, let’s just say he was a terrible man. Nobody that worked under him had much love for the guy, much less his family. The wife told me herself he never could… y’know, sexually.
One of my jobs from time to time involved going to his home, and that’s where I met his wife. She was much older than me and covered in tats (I wasn’t then) but yeah, queen of the milfs, as they say. I like a woman that looks like she could mess up my whole life so I was pretty drawn to her from the beginning. She showed me how to sew wounds closed and local herbs that could slow bleeding and all kinds of other cool shit. Her kids loved braiding my hair (I have big and long curly hair) I guess you could say my stupid puta gay ass got a crush on her. She always complained about her husband, sometimes she cried, and I wondered if this lady was actually a lesbian from the stories she told me.
So anyway, my boss didn’t treat her good, and beat her up when he lost a deal. I got so pissed about it, I just reached a boiling point. So, one night we got drunk and I lost it for a solid ten minutes straight. This guy has a real bad temper and is a trigger-happy whack job, so I had a feeling I’d get shot then and there for saying all that. But he was so drunk, he passed out at the table, laughing everything off.
I got up and told him he wasn’t even man enough to fuck his wife but I was, if I ever had the chance. Turns out I’d have the chance all right.
I walked for a long while to clear my head. I recognized the wife’s car down the street, and she waved me over. She’d taken the kids to a family member’s house and was just sitting in the car, crying.
I wasn’t intending to fuck her. I really wasn’t. She broke my heart, and I just wanted to make her feel better. I don’t know exactly know how it happened, but we ended up fucking in her car
The next day, basically the whole town knew. The wife was telling everyone how amazing of a lover I was, so I knew my life was over. I went home to drink and hope I was so wasted, my inevitable death wouldn’t be too painful
My boss came to my apartment, pretty hungover, and shot me, as one might expect. I was a 20-year-old Latin hot-head WOMAN who cucked a narco… that was a blow to his reputation that he’d never recover from.
Luckily for me, he was a shitty husband but an even shittier shot, so I survived. I…. uh, escaped (you don’t need the details there) and lived to tell the tale.
Moral of the story: don’t assign lesbian bodyguards for your wives
spookybuttons
“Telenovelas are too dramatic”
meanwhile in latin america
∑(O_O；)
I made a quiz about which horrible tumblr fandom you are because I’m tired and want to start shit apparently
I need you all to appreciate the background
oh…oh no
dracohasmycat
Your Result:
Glee.
No "reblog if you aren't homophobic/support gay rights" post was complete without a glee gif. I didn't know what was going on here tbh. I remember this was really popular when I was in like fourth grade so I wanted to watch it then I watched one episode and felt my eyelids retreating into my skull and figured that was enough of that. I mean there were some good actors in there! But there was also Lea Michelle so it kinda balances out. But having to see gifs of that white twink all the time calling him a precious baby or making him into a flamboyant gay caricature was...a lot. I have been informed the show was also an ableist mess. The more I hear the more glad I am that I never watched this.