🌈Ranibow Sprimkle🌈

Tumblr just put a fcuking harry potter post on my feed as a "recommendation based on your likes"

Why not recommend me smallpox next. Or arthritis maybe.

Settings -> Account Settings -> Content you see -> Filtered Post Content

Add "Rowling", "jkr", "harry potter", "snape", "remus lupin", whatever you want.

Yeah I'm not doing all that. Tumblr should just ban all things related to that franchise

you are like a mewling helpless baby you are standing in the rain and i am offering you a goddamn umbrella and you throw it on the floor and yell at god to abolish rain

"you are standing in the rain and I am offering you a goddamn umbrella and you throw it on the floor and yell at god to abolish rain" is a killer line and I wish I wrote that

Literature for Little Ones Club hosted by Severus Snape

Protective godfather.

Reverse bedhead

imo the most iconic gayle moment is that one where she electrocutes herself using a dog collar to bake an apple pie with the edge of seventeen by fleetwood mac playing in the background 

WHAT IS THIS

Fuck you, Bonnie

It’s even funnier when you know Bonnie is played by his irl mom

Dark Forces This Very Minute

Russian version

I redownload this app for one day once every maybe two months and unfortunately I’m rewarded every time

let me just…

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

No no they could be onto something here

What's the worst that could happen? Worth a shot.

Ah. splanters. In and on my penas. And yeah they're haunted.

"LGBTQIA+"

"The gays"

"Queer"

"Fa-"

i accidentally clicked blaze and the preview of the post on the pop up is killing me

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

well you did ask

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

Tumblr is a multipolyhedron and we keep discovering newer sides.

Either that or it’s an infinite onion.

Lmao at ur tags @rigidly-controlled-dragon

"A little" is exactly how much time you'll live.