Brand new Zuko Adopted idea: he gets adopted by the fortune teller lady from that one episode. Madame Wu, I think her name was.

On one hand, I kind of hate that episode. I didn't mind it much in the show, but the endless near-identical replays that fanfics have subjected me to have left me DEEPLY AVERSE to Aunt Wu and her town. I now root for the volcano.

But.

But.

Zuko as Wu's assistant? Zuko raised to read fortunes and deny science to Sokka's face?

Yes.

YES.

The tiger troll!Zuko is free!

Episode goal: start with everyone in the Gaang being fairly sympathetic to Zuko. End with them all HATING him. And then they're stuck with him for three whole seasons.

So they show up like usual, but instead of having the one assistant, Wu has two: the canon girl, and this scarred teenager. Both are very pleasant and accommodating, right up until Sokka opens his mouth. Then Zuko snatches the bowl out of his hands.

"No snacks for skeptics," he says.

Sokka's Hate: ✓

Katara and Aang's Love: ++

Continue episode as normal. Katara keeps coming back a million times, until Zuko stands outside the shut door like a bodyguard, arms crossed.

"But Aunt Wu tells fortunes for free!" Katara says.

"Do you think 'free' lets her keep this house? Or pay for food? Your trial subscription has ended."

Katara grumblingly pays. Zuko pockets the money, and does not move.

"Aunt Wu is free. I cannot be paid enough to deal with this. You're trying to figure out what 'a powerful bender' means? Here's a hint: you're traveling with the Avatar."

Sokka and Katara's Hate: ✓

Aang's Love: ++

Episode: resume. Volcano: erupt. Zuko reveals himself as a firebender as he helps put out fires around town after Aang's big bending display. He does this with the most done-with-this air possible.

Aang loses his spirits-damned mind. "YOU'RE A FIREBENDER, BE MY TEACHER, PLEASE BE MY--"

"Yeah, sure."

"--TEACHER! WAIT REALLY? FLAMEO!"

"Never say that again or I am throwing you off your own bison."

Sokka and Katara are not particularly keen to have the Snack-Snatching Extortionist on Appa, but hey, mostly non-evil firebender. They'll take him. ...Reluctantly.

Time: One Hour Later

Location: Bison Back

"Is it true that the strongest firebenders can sense volcanic eruptions before they happen?" asks Aang.

"Yeah, I can teach you to do that," answers Zuko.

"Cool! ...Wait. So you knew it was going to erupt? Did you try to tell Wu, and she didn't listen? We did--"

"Nope."

"--too. What."

"I really hated that town," Zuko says.

"So you would just betray the woman who raised you?" Katara says.

"She saw it coming."

"NO SHE DIDN'T," yells Sokka.

Sokka and Katara's Hate: ✓

Aang's Growing Unease Because Hate-Is-a-Strong-Word: ++

Kindling AU has me cackling because Aang knows nothing about the royal family besides the Fire Lord exists, Katara and Sokka know exactly 1 thing more and it is not what the Fire Nation Royal family looks like, Toph knows more but is getting tripped up on the truth of “I’m not a prince.” And wrapping her head around parents that would so brutally kick their kids out of the house. It’s not till Suki/Hakoda/Iroh suggest putting Zuko on the throne that they find out.

Zuko is going to be an unsubtle little shit about his royal status, too. Like, "My mom called me Zuko, but Li's the name my father gave me. Mostly everyone just calls me Prince," and "hey Katara, if you need a fake name try Azula. It's the princess' name, a lot of girls your age got named after her. My sister's Azula."

Meanwhile, his unit: *collective facepalms, and can they please stop courting near-treason? Everyone knows Prince Zuko is dead*

Katara: Wait, your sister was named after the princess and you were named after the prince? ...The dead prince.

Zuko: I know, right? Probably why my dad changed my name.

1 On the Airbenders Live and jealously-guard-their-non-extinction-secret, I agree that Zuko would take offense at being taken out by anything as weak as a mere throat-slitting and just /refuse out of spite/ (and Dai Li), and now I NEED the confusion and horror of this poor Airbender eventually running into Zuko again and realizing that a) that kid he unfortunately had to kill-for-his-people-to-live /ain't murdered/ and b) this kid is apparently /disturbingly/ blasé about attempts on his life WTF

2 Also, Airbender-OK-with-death is now having a crisis over the fact that nobody knows about rogue Airbenders so the kid still kept his word to not tell even after attempted murder and hello MORE CRUSHING GUILT; and also said kid is more upset about somebody else prob getting hurt protecting The Secret than his murder and is lecturing me on hiding my bending better and like kid, priorities??? (Zuko smacks him "Bad Airbender!" when he tries the no oxygen trick again and /continues his lecture/)

The first time they meet, Zuko is a bb!cop. The second, he has his Dealing With The Idiot Populace attitude down.

He still doesn't want to reveal the whole 'airbenders live' secret so he's not going to take this guy in for the attempted murder, but he is going to issue fifty-two extremely petty citations based upon archaic legal ordinances that no one actually enforces. We're talking 'it's illegal to take your duck for a walk on Tuesday' levels of petty.

So, uh, what’s Fireflies?

So pretty much everyone ever has their "Season Three Rewrite" fic. Fireflies is mine.

Basic premise: I hated the narrative role they gave Combustion Man, and felt it cheated Zuko's character arc a bit. So. Fireflies is Zuko not sending a random assassin, but doing what he does best: going out and hunting the Gaang through the countryside himself.

Featuring:

Sokka: You're dead! I left you to die! I had nightmares about leaving you to die!

Zuko: ...Your point, peasant?

Sokka: Stop huanting the pond of delicious non-flight-capable meat, we need it for lunch!

But yeah, this one is fairly low on the writing list because everyone writes Season Three fics. It's a shorter idea though, so it's only competing for the "token short fic" slot, which means you'll probably see it one day.

So is this Chaos Avatar Zuko is going to be a Vaatu adopts Zuko?

Look, he isn't adopting the human larva, he didn't even know what the word adoption meant until five seconds ago. But actions taken by the larva's genetic donor (oh do not even get Vaatu started on the filth that is human procreation, can't they form children from the endless space of concepts like civilized creatures?), ahem, Fire Lord Genetic Donor is actively weakening his vessel in flesh and spirit, even when not present, and Vaatu refuses to allow this to continue. Fire Larva, you WILL feel better this instant, Vaatu COMMANDS you.

bb!Zuko hiding in a garden until his sniffling won't be a disgrace to Father: ...That isn't how feelings work, Voice, but thank you for trying. I'll practice extra hard at bending tomorrow, and the next day, and one day Father will be proud--

Ancient Spirit of Chaos and Destruction: One day this place will burn to the ground.

Zuko: ...What?

Vaatu: Nothing, Larva. Keep generating salt water.

Re: Zuko good at Pai Sho headcanon. I think he is actually very good at a lot of things he would be taught to do, but which aren't valued the same way as firebending, and thus he doesn't think he is good or they aren't important. The standards are so high and anyway Azula is always better (or it wasn't worth her time to master, why did he put in the effort). Like tsungi horn, pai sho, swordfighting... calligraphy or dancing... He probably is the perfect Accomplished Woman from Pride & Prejudice.

Posting for the last line. The world needs Perfect Accomplished Woman From Pride And Prejudice Zuko.

have we had zuko adopted by the yu yan archers yet?

The kid is scruffy and underfed, needs a change for those bandages on his face and probably a doctor for whatever’s oozing underneath, and he almost managed to steal their dry rations. Not all of them, or even as much as a fever-weakened thirteen year old child carry. Just enough for a meal or two. How much do kids that age eat? Probably it should be more than that.

We are not keeping him, their squad commander signs. Or feeding every half-blooded war refugee we see. Take the food and kick him out. How did he get this close?

Didn’t hear him, someone signs.

Or see him, another adds.

There is a silence uninterrupted by hand-signaling, but very interrupted by the growling child still trying to work the arrows out of his sleeve so he can not be pinned to a tree. He could just rip the fabric and go. The shirt certainly looks like it’s seen worse. That might be the point, though: he probably doesn’t have another.

Just one meal? one of them wheedles. We could call it an interrogation.

No, the squad commander says, via pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off a headache. It’s not an official sign, but this does not stop it from being perfectly understandable.

“I can see you talking about me!” the kid growls. And hunches his shoulders when they turn to stare. He stops only when his shirt sleeve makes an ominous ripping noise. “I know you’re Yuyan and you have awesome secret hand signs and you’re the best archers there are and you’re talking about me. Are you going to shoot me or let me go?”

This is a baffling mix of very angry compliments that does not improve when he scowls and adds: “If you let me go I’m taking the food,” like that’s a choice he gets to make.

One meal, the squad commander conveys, with another elegant headache-pinch.

Two weeks later Usagi Squad returns to Pohuai Stronghold.

One week after that Commander Shinu performs a surprise barracks inspection. He’s expecting to find a lizard-dog puppy or whatever other pet the troops have snuck in this time and have been stealing extra rations for.

…A lizard-dog puppy would have at least been half-tamed. And would possibly snarl at him less.

He closes his eyes, because he doesn’t need to see their excuses. “He leaves in the morning.”

They do indeed put the child outside the gates in the morning.

He finds his way back inside in time for dinner.

As Prince Zuko had been declared deceased nearly year ago, Pohuai’s newest, smallest security consultant was never in any way linked to him.

Until the Avatar showed up, but that’s another story.