Bingo. This is not just an intersectional thing between bi/pan romantic and Acepec, and Arospec with bi/pan sexual. Non a-spec people can also have split attractions, experiencing romantic attraction to more than one gender, but only ever experiencing sexual attraction to one gender, or vice versa.

The split attraction model was first introduced in the 1800's.

In our modern understanding, the Split Attraction Model is designed to cover everyone. If someone who is Heteroromantic Heterosexual Allosexual, Homoromantic Homosexual Allosexual, Aromantic Asexual, Biromantic Bisexual Allosexual, etc, I can see why they may not personally use the Split Attraction Model, as one label would cover them, this assumes certain *defaults* which just are not the default for everyone.

Having these separate in the Split Attraction Model helps everyone to fully find, understand, and (when needed) state/explain their identity.

Whether you're Biromantic Asexual, Homoromantic Demisexual, Panromantic Heterosexual Graysexual, Biromantic Homosexual Allosexual, or anything in-between, Split Attraction has you covered.

(I actually just published this revised graphic today, which may help illustrate this: https://demisexual-kingdom.tumblr.com/post/649947695023292416/a-revision-of-the-layered-attraction-model-for-all )

Identify how you feel comfortable identifying, whether it's with one label or a split label. The Split Attraction Model will always be here for everyone who identities with it.

- Mod K-P

can we move past “should ace people be involved in lgbt spaces” and start examining how asexuality impacts all of us whether we identify as it or not. it particularly impacts people of color in a way that is distinct per racial group. i mean, trudy has written about this, danyi has written about this, vesper discusses this, hana examines this in her performance art, michael talks about this and created a whole online publication for other aces, primarily aces of color, to share their own experiences in their own way, mod fae over at fyeahasexual discusses this as well.

i think it’s important that we start shifting from “do aces belong” to “how does asexuality help me reclaim the agency white supremacy and western imperialism took from me?” by hearing out ace voices of color. and this doesnt have to end at BIPoC who are affected by western imperialism and white supremacy. we can move on towards people under the bracket of other issues in the world

Quick comic about Inclusion because I can

Hi if you don't think people on the ace spectrum belong in the lgbtq community then unfollow me :)

“straights can’t understand the gay/lesbian/queer/non-het struggle”

true!!!

“cis can’t understand the trans/nb/gender-non-conforming struggle”

super true!!!

“allosexuals can of course understand the ace/demi struggle and reach the conclusion that y’all are just straight ‘cause you’re more privileged that other members of the lgbtq+ community and the fact that you struggle less means your identity is invalid and you’re just straight :)”

NOPE.

(rb if your blog is a safe space for ace and demi people and if you’re not exclusionists bitches <3)

read this

asexuals and aromantics (and everything in between) are not heteronormative therefore we are part of the lgbt+ community. you can keep scrolling now. have a great day xoxo

Also Agender and Aro!

The fish has spoken. Exclusionists will now be evaporated on sight.

gentle reminder to all ace and aro peeps:

the majority of the lgbtq+ community sees you and accepts you as a part of the community and in queer spaces. i know seeing all the hate on here from within the community can be incredibly disheartening and exhausting, but aphobes are just a loud and angry minority, they are not the norm in actual queer spaces.

you are valid. you are loved. you belong.

Casual reminder that aces belong at pride no matter their romantic orientation and aria belong at pride no matter what their sexual orientation is. Off this site, you’re unlikely to get harassment from exclusionists because the majority of people agree that you belong. So don’t be afraid to go to pride because of exclusionists, who are just your run of the mill hateful people anyway.

Reasons why I need the A in LGBTIAQ to stand for Asexual, not Ally

Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner

Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me

Because both of them looked at me in disgust

Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband

Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’

Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken

Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality

Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex

I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time

I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry

For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped

We need representation, and we need visibility

That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally

Fucking Important Post.

Just so we’re fucking clear, this blog is inclusionist. If that’s a prob, gtfo.

People don’t understand the enormous and insidious pressure aces are under to just give in and pretend you like it already. This at an individual and institutional level- look at the way psychologists treat people who don’t want sex, whether they are ace or not. Conversion therapy for aces is so normalized that people don’t even notice it exists.

It’s interesting hearing ppl be anti-ace in pride month bc I think a lot of people think about ace spectrum as just, not being interested, and that it therefore affects your life to the same degree as not being interested in like, horror movies or a new AAA game might. That it’s a simple “opt-out” of any sort of sexual experience or identity altogether, rather than another set of complex interactions with a highly regimented, scripted societal concept of “normal,” e.g. hetero nuclear family with clear gender roles

You’d think for a community that focuses so much on the topic of representation in media, it would be a little more obvious that like…in almost every story, romantic/sexual love comes up as a theme or sideplot, and in many of them, it’s presented as a critically important key to happiness or success. As a culture, we recognize that anytime a character is in the same room as another character with the chance for there to be sexual tension, then that sexual tension p much automatically exists by default (assumed straight, but if the character’s label is revealed as gay,etc., follows accordingly). When the lead guy meets a woman with more than a few speaking lines and a meaningful interaction, they are a Romantic Sideplot, to the point where a lot of romantic writing is frankly lazy or forced-feeling simply bc it relies on ppl expecting it as default. 

And the thing is, that sort of interaction follows you in real life in a lot of ways. It often feels like meeting people starts with the benchline of “am I or can I become sexually/romantically interested in you?” before moving down the lines of other ways to relate. And while I personally never really fell in the “I’m broken, I need fixed” mentality regarding my sexuality (demi-, to be clear), I have felt alienated or kept at a distance in the process of trying to disengage with this unspoken norm, to the point of it kind of becoming my default. As I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten more pressing, and it feels like many spaces for adults come with the caveat of being related to potential sexual/romantic availability 

And it’s hard coming to terms with the fact that the world has designated the “most important relationship” as something that’s counter to you in some essential way. Like it’s a bit of a cruel realization to recognize that you’re probably always going to be playing second fiddle or be a step down in status to the people you view as most important to you because your relationship with them is not sexual or romantic. Being ace-spectrum is not opting-out of wanting meaningful relationships, but it sometimes comes with the resignation that you may have to accept that. 

But that’s why representation and community matter. There’s a lot more discussion about things like queerplatonic relationships, about very meaningful but non-sexual ways of relating to others, and it’s awesome to see it come up in media, even if it’s just fanfiction. The notion that something like love, or more specifically, devotion, loyalty, commitment, accountability, compassion, or the act of cherishing/being cherished, can still exist for you outside of the realm of romantic or sexual situations, is something I think everyone deserves to see and understand. And I think that’s worth including in the discussion alongside other LGBTQ+ topics

Aces are lit asf and if they wanna chill in the LGBT+ community then they totally can

Casual reminder that all aces and aros are inherently LGBTQ+ (unless they personally don’t want included)

THEY INCLUDED ASEXUALS!!  I went to an exhibition about the LGBT+ community and this was my gift!❂◡❂

It looked really pretty! *u*

Some flags! 

A little bit of history :D

I just loved this  ♥

This is in México by the way, the exhibition ends in June! Have a lovely day, lovely people! \(^◡^ )/