I have good news for you! Life is an exciting journey that should never be rushed through. It doesn't really matter if you're panromantic or heteroromantic, or anything else. You could be either, or neither, and that's okay! Only you can decide. And the funny thing about life is that people change and evolve, and that's okay too! Maybe you identify as heteroromantic right now, but sometime down the line you fall in love with a nice nonbinary person. Maybe then you'd decide that biromantic, polyromantic, or panromantic fits you better. Personally, I am panromantic, because I always think to myself, "okay, does the gender of a person affect my view of them, and how much I like/dislike them?" The answer is always no. I'm cool with any gender identity, as I fall in love with personality. So there's a little pointer that might help you figure things out for yourself. Good luck!

-Mod Rosie

I think it probably is, among aspec people and maybe others as well. I’m asexual, and I feel this way. The better I get to know someone’s personality, if they are compatible with my personality, then the more I like them. And the more I like someone, the more I associate their physical appearance with who they are as a person. For me, this is basically just seeing a person physically and realizing, “hey! I know this person and really like them!”

-Mod Rosie

Don't be sorry for asking questions. That's what we're here for! 😊

Alright, so when you say demi, do you mean demisexual? Demiromantic is also a thing. If you think you've never felt romantic attraction before, it is possible that you are aromantic, and if you think you could someday feel romantic attraction, perhaps you are demiromantic. It is important to note the difference between romantic and sexual attractions. It is possible for a person to feel one without the other, feel both, or neither, in varying levels and intensities. Everyone is different! An asexual person is someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction at all, while a demisexual person can only feel sexual attraction after a very close bond/friendship/connection is formed with another person (and even then, it doesn't always happen - depends heavily on those involved).

The word you may be looking for is cupioromantic, which is wanting a romantic relationship without feeling the actual urge. Either way, it is perfectly possible to have both romantic and sexual relationships that are happy and successful, without actually having the "feelings" generally considered "necessary" by our society. It just takes conscious decisions made by the people involved, instead of just "letting your feelings take over." I have personally always liked this about my demi-romanticism and asexuality. It means I know that if I am ever in these relationships, it is because I CHOSE to be, not because my feelings "took over" my actions. It makes me feel like I have an "advantage" of sorts!

In the end, pursuing such relationships is up to you, as is choosing labels you think fit you, and make you comfortable. Your comfort is what's most important!

-Rosie

Hello, everyone! My name is Rosie!

I'm one of the new mods who joined here recently. Nice to meet you all!

I guess I'll just introduce myself by telling you a few things about myself.

I turned 24 years old today, and I'm demi-panromantic asexual, she/her. I'm a cartoonist, and a huge nerd. I'm polyamorous, and currently live with my girlfriend, who is demisexual. I'm super chill and positive, and I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone! Feel free to interact! :)

~Mod Rosie