#boundaries – @demisexual-kingdom on Tumblr

Anonymous asked:

I’m demisexual and am just starting to date. I’ve been on a few first dates and really enjoy their company and getting to know them, but near the end of the dates when they start getting physically close, I feel really uncomfortable and almost repulsed. I’ve never liked being touched at all anyway, but I’m just figuring all this out. I still want to meet again and form a better connection, but I don’t know how to navigate their expectations vs how slowly I need to take things. Wondering if others have felt the same way.

Hey anon! Yeah definitely, i feel that

Things always seem to go too fast for us, and honestly there's nothing we can do except talk with our dates about this, the ones that are willing to listen and understand your boundaries that's ok, anyone else is not good losing your time and potentially health after.

Mod Ruadhán

#ask #anon #answer #answered #demisexuality #boundaries #dating

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sunflower-cane

You know I love how so many people are like “respect boundaries respect consent” until it’s time to respect people w OCD who can’t shake hands or be touched or when an autistic person tells their family member they can’t give hugs or when a chronically ill person tells you “no I can’t do this thing” and you think “maybe if I just make them do it anyway it’ll make them stronger” or when a mentally ill person or someone who has been abused is like “I don’t want to be around this person/thing it’s triggering” and you get people guilting them to “just get over it”

If you’re about consent and boundaries, good, you should be, but remember to keep that energy when moms of autistic kids are like “I still hug my child even tho it makes them have panic attacks” or when someone’s like “yeah they said they don’t want to be around this person cause it’s “triggering” but I’m their friend so they should do it for me” or when a disabled person says they can’t go up the stairs and you’re begging them to “try anyway”

Don’t lose that mindset, or that energy when it’s time to respect the boundaries or consent of mentally ill and disabled people.

#consent #disability #boundaries

demisexual-kingdom

Anonymous asked:

I think I'm demisexual. I'm dating my first partner ever. They know I have no interest in sex right now, but we have kissed and made out a few times. I liked it the times it has happened, but other times, even the idea of kissing makes me feel gross and uncomfortable. There are times when I'm okay with physical affection and other times where I can't stand it. Is it normal for demi people to be uncomfortable with things like kissing at times, and then love it the other??

Hello !

There is not such a thing as a “normal" behavior, everyone is different and you are your own definition of normal.

In the same way as some days you’ll feel happy and others you’ll feel sad, feelings and sensations are not set in stone; they can change depending on the day.

Maybe you could try to see things this way : let’s say there is a kind of food you like, sometimes you want to eat it but you don’t like it enough to eat it everyday. It’s the same for physical affection !

You have your own boundaries and that’s perfectly okay !! I’m sure there is plenty of demi who feel the same way as you.

I would suggest you to talk about it with your partner if you haven’t already done so : communication is everything and it’s important to have your limits respected.

Have a very nice day !

-Mod Tae

#ask #anon #answer #answered #demisexuality #dating #boundaries #validation