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#i miss them so much – @deluweil on Tumblr
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Call it the way I see it!

@deluweil / deluweil.tumblr.com

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I’m rewatching season 4 episode 13 (yes, I like to suffer.) and right before Eddie gets shot, he says, “Should’ve gotten here sooner.”Let me preface, I could be reaching but like…he couldn’t have? Charlie called Eddie, they got there right away, Shelia isn’t dead, Charlie isn’t hurt any more than he would’ve been if they’d gotten there earlier. Maybe Eddie wishes he hadn’t left the apartment the first time and noticed Charlie getting poisoned, or maybe he’s wistful that he couldn’t get there before Charlie poisoned Shelia (though again, I don’t doubt that it would’ve boiled over some other way, Eddie’s bound to know that too.)

but

it could also be referencing-

screenshot of gif-set from @bieddiediaz

Listen, I know I probably sound crazy but also, putting it all together.

“You’re Late.” - Buck saying this after tucking Christopher in while Eddie went on a date with Ana, a co-parent role in comparison (and in general) to the arms length distance Eddie had her at, at this point in their relationship (and ‘til the end of their relationship really.)

“There was construction on sunset. had to take a detour.” - I feel like I don’t need to say anything for why the writers are deranged for this.

And then.

Should’ve gotten here sooner.” Immediately followed by,

“That kids just lucky he met you.” By Buck.

Again, maybe it’s nothing.

But then, seconds later, Eddie gets shot. And the shift, in everything, is palpable. The camera work, the framing, their relationship.

“Should’ve gotten here sooner.” When watching it back really feels like a sick premonition on Eddie’s part. We’re here now, this point of undeniable change, this shift from subtext to text, and it had to be here. It had to be now, we should’ve gotten here sooner.

Cause, I am of the wholehearted belief that everything changed for Eddie the moment he got shot in terms of Buck specifically. Because, obviously shared trauma, and intense amounts of coping and processing needs to be done to really even begin to cover how much shared trauma they have between them, for this event alone. However, the feeling realization, like, true confrontation of it, happened the minute Eddie looked at Buck after the bullet went in his shoulder.

The moment right after, close-up of Eddie, close up of Buck. That two-shot of them looking at each other with Buck covered in Eddie’s blood. It’s meaningful, because it wasn’t needed without a deliberate purpose.

because after this close-up of Buck-

Traditionally you’d cut to chaos. You have a moment of establishment where important characters are accounted for, and then the “point of the scene” (or what they could have framed the point of the scene as.) Would follow. It’s how the editing would be done, what the DP accounts for when they shoot it. but they didn’t. And because they didn’t, I, both a cynical and someone who’s studying film, knew without a doubt they want this relationship highlighted, to the front and with high expectation.

because this shot. is. not. required. if they were telling a platonic story.

And yes, I do sort of mean it in a, they didn’t have to hurt us this rawly with the shot.

But I also mean, this. The sniper was attacking firefighters. That close up of Buck with blood already establishes such intense emotion. Someone you love, someone you’re close to is the first target in a vendetta that had nothing to do with the sniper. He’s hurting people you so deeply care about and the chaos that comes after shows the terror. And we get the chaos. But before that. We get that shot.

And it took me rewatching it for like the 3rd time to realize why something about this season literally shakes me every time I see this shot. It’s because, yes the framing the coloring, the abject queerness of it is jarring.

But more than that, it’s so deliberate. Because the moment they added this shot, they told us something we’ve been asking for. This story is going in a different direction than you assumed you’d get. You’re getting more than you assumed you’d get.

Like, yes I’m being dramatic, but genuinely this one shot, sets up the everything between them since Eddie getting shot.

If we wanted to highlight family in the 118 found family way, though we see that with Buck using the excuse of not letting anyone else on the 118 get hurt when he climbs that crane, this one minute scene, could’ve played out so differently. Because yeah, it’s about family, because Eddie is Buck’s family.

It isn’t about chaos, it isn’t about family in a brother in arms sort of way. This shot tells you the story of what’s gonna happen because when Eddie got shot and looked up at Buck, both of them saw it too. What could’ve happened. What they could’ve lost.

And because I’m deranged and not done. Adding on to that.

“It’s not like we’re going home, anytime soon.”

Like. Sorry, I’m??? Let’s lay that out.

“You’re Late.” “There was construction on sunset. Had to take a detour.”

“Should’ve gotten here sooner.”

“It’s not like we’re going home any time soon.”

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I have to be honest, the last week has been difficult. Personal wise and famdom wise, and often times my escape is the fandom.

It hasn't been much of an escape lately, it's been a mass hysteria over rumors and posts of not the actors or the actual show runners but vague interviews, badly written synopsises, and make up crew posts of flowers.

Yes buddie, no buddie, Ana is never going anywhere, wait but maybe she is, GW didn't post anything new, she's been acknowledged by a single member of the cast, but not about 9-1-1, yes Taylor, no Taylor.

Not regular characters getting more screen time, but no flashback to Covid quarantine time, yes Albert, no maybe it's Josh.

And at no point does anyone consider to tag this fiasco JUST by #9-1-1 speculations or more importantly #9-1-1 spoilers.

If you tagged spoilers but also tagged buddie and 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 on fox, we can ALL see it and the speculation/spoilers tag is meaningless because those that don't want to be spoiled see it anyway.

Also before sending asks about a possible spoiler ask the designated blog owner if they're OK with being spoiled.

I love you all, the fandom has been my escape for a very long time. But life being f***ing hard and all the stress and drama in fandom is a bit too much for me.

So I'm taking a brief break from 9-1-1/buddie fandom for a bit, until my nerves have realigned with my patience lvl again.

Also knowing so much of what I didn't want to know or needed to know, my excitement of having the show back has dwindled to a "Let's just pack the bags and go home" mood.

So until After 9-1-1 4b is back and I watch it and hopefully won't want to break the TV, I'll be taking a small hiatus from Tumblr.

Which also means a break from my 'one Eddie pick a day' routine.

I will however be working on my fics in between writing final papers for my diploma.

I'll be available on the private chats, write to me my precious mutuals, I always miss you. 💕

Again I love this fandom but I'm emotionally done so no hard feelings my loves.

Have a relaxing and restful weekend, sending out hugs and infinite love. ❤

To cheer you up:

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So I know I said I'm not going to be able to post today, but plan's change and here I am🤗

Here is my Eddie pic of the day - found this little gem on Instagram and I just couldn't resist sharing it with you 😍💕

I love how happy they look 💕💕💕

Happy Wednesday Everyone 🤗❤

Ps. You are still invited to send asks if you have a particular Eddie/buddie/with Christopher/buddie+Christopher gif/pic you want me to post. You know how much I love meta too when the mood inpires 😇🥰

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This is my Eddie gif for the day:

This moment when he's off the facetime call with Shannon and Christopher, and Buck comes down and asks when's the wedding.

It's teasing but not genuine.

When Eddie says they're already married, then asks if Buck thinks there should be a wedding anyway, Buck retreats and tells Eddie to ask Bobby - "Maybe he can get you a discount."

Again, there is teasing here but it's, again, not genuine. And Buck doesn't say what he thinks about the situation at any point.

He supports Eddie's decisions, he has his back, but it doesn't mean he has to like it.

You can see in the gif up there ☝ that Eddie takes it as the joke it was meant as, but his face doesn't set into an amused, happy "my best friend is a dork" kind of way. You can see uncertainty written all over his face.

Re-marrying is not something he considered until Buck asked, he hasn't thought that far yet, but now he had to. And even though every word, every look, every gesture that Eddie made pointed to his unwillingness to get back together with Shannon, the moment she told him she might be pregnant, Eddie decided to do what was expected of him, not what he wanted.

This little Eddie and Buck moment here is so underrated and foreshadowing it's almost painful.

I'm hoping that 3y later, now that they're impossibly closer and intertwined, Buck will step forward, if only for Christopher's sake, and tell Eddie he's making a mistake.

A little gloom sure, but the buddie here is so strong, even if at this point I didn't see them as buddie yet (grocery store kind of flipped the tables for me) there was an undercurrent here of Buck trying to communicate to his best friend that something doesn't feel right.

On a personal note: I'm still super sick and has the irresistible urge to hit my sister, I'm crossing my fingers it will go away soon🤞🤞, I have so many things to do it's not even funny anymore 🙈

Sending good vibes and infinite love 💕💕💕

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Ok it's been the day from hell and I think I caught my sister's cold, so the long post will have to wait for tomorrow,

Today I need an Eddie Diaz 'pick me up' and a good night sleep:

I will never be over this fond smile, responding to Buck's enthusiastic "Denny we will do you first" (gingerbread house), that soft, loving look is absolutely everything!

It's my beating buddie heart ❤❤❤

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This is how I see buddie on a double date at the movies:

-'McDanno: At the Movies' 😂

Cath is definitely Taylor in this scenario, well familiar with the boys' antics, also thoroughly amused and Gabi is Ana - completely shocked at what's happening. 😂😂😂

I got the irresistible urge to do a H50 greatest hits rewatch - I had to share this one. 🤗😂❤

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So I read on the buddie discord theories on the lack of Diazes in the promos, and what I think we all, in our over emotional state forgot to note that we have 5 episodes.

They only filmed 5 episodes, and those episodes obviously concentrate on Buck's back-story.

Athena's trauma from last season has to be dealt with,

And Madney's pregnancy is much more immediate because of the time lapse and Covid.

We don't get much on Eddie and Hen because that's not a main storyline yet, or even this season.

So no need to panic just yet, on the bright side we get both Eddie and Hen in the crossover hopefully it will be as epic as it looks 🙏🙏😉

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